Perfect
by Strangershadow
Summary: "What the hell do you want from me? I don't need you! Go live with that man you call your father!". Everyone she ever met told her how she wasn't good enough. Her mother hated her and her father didn't care. Rukia Kuchiki had to survive in a world that only saw her flaws. And then, she met Ichigo Kurosaki, The-Boy-in-the-Janitor's-Closet.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome, readers! **

**Okay, so I suck at writing first chapters of anything, but this fic's going to start getting better. And please look at the date of the chapter because I might flip from past and present in between the story. **

* * *

**_The-Boy-In-The-Janitor's-Closet_**

* * *

-:- 5th April, 2011 5:45 p.m. -:-

It was the last working day for the Sereitei students before summer hols began. Rukia walked through the corridors with a blank expression on her face. Things had been better for her now, but not everything felt right.

She didn't know why, but everything seemed so...monotonous. She woke up, ate, studied, ate, pretended to enjoy with her friends and slept. And then the same next day. And the next. And the next.

The classes were all over as the students hurried around talking. They had been given a fat load of homework, but Rukia was fine with it, because she was going to meet her father again. Finally.

At first, when she had newly arrived at Seretei, she'd visited Kuro every weekend. As the work pressure kicked in, she began to visit once a month, which slowly changed to talks on the phone, which then slowly changed to none at all. It had been exactly four months since she'd last seen the guy.

"Rukia! Promise me you'll call me!" Momo cried, leaping towards Rukia and hugging her. A familiar warmth spread through the violet-eyed girl, who smiled and nodded.

"I will."

"I'll miss you so much! Send my love to your Dad, okay?"

"Yeah"

Momo waved and hurried away to pack up her things- her parents were coming to pick her up the following morning.

Rukia watched her go and for the first time felt a sinking sensation at the pit of her stomach to watch a classmate...a _friend, _leave.

"Hey, Earth to Kuchiki." came a voice and she looked up to see Renji's falming red hair "Whatcha thinking?"

She shrugged "Aren't you going to pack?"

He snorted "Pack? Are you kidding me? I'm staying back for the hols."

"Why?"

"I don't have a great going with my Dad. He has a thing about me attending Seretei."

Rangiku had joined them, a lopsided smile on her face "Yeah, I'm sure a father would hate their kid to attend one of the best universities in Japan."

Renji inhaled deeply, looking like he could care less "He wanted me to be in the family business. Instead, I chose anything else apart from that."

Rangiku rolled her eyes and folded her hands, making her breasts lean forward even more "Fine, make yourself useful then and help me pack!"

"Wha- why?!"

"Because you're not gonna get any until you do"

"I'm not gonna get any no matter what I do for you!"

"You'll definitely not be getting any if you don't do this. Otherwise...you _might _stand a chance." she winked.

"Well, I'll be leaving you. Have a good holiday" Rukia said, turning around and making her way to the Janitor's Closet.

Some would think she was crazy for going there- of all places to find peace- but it gave her an odd sense of comfort. It was a small place where she fit perfectly and still left enough space to move about.

Walking quietly, she opened the door and closed it behind her as she entered. She pressed her head against the wall and closed her eyes, sighing.

_It's been a year since I last saw them..._

It wasn't until she'd opened her eyes that she saw a tall figure staring down at her, hunched up in a corner.

Rukia was about to scream, but the way he looked at her with horror told her he was more scared of her than she was. Plus, she'd seen this guy- he was the one girls followed and swooned over, and the one who'd knocked out Gin Ichimaru in that fight.

"What do you want?" he asked, backed against the wall, a mop lying next to him. He had orange hair. Rukia didn't remember his name but she had a vague idea it meant a fruit...

"What do you want, woman?!"

"Ichigo Kurosaki!" she said out loud, his name finally coming to her.

"...Yeah?"

Rukia held the leash of her bag, staring at him "What're you doing in the Janitor's Closet?

"What're _you _doing in the Janitor's Closet?" he shot back.

"I asked first."

"Hiding." he looked at her confused expression "From a bunch of girls. They're looking for me to give me their damn number"

"...Oh"

"So what're you doing here?"

"I come here time to time. Just like that." she shrugged, not wanting to explain further to this strange-looking boy. She sent him a second glance- be it her imagination, but he looked like an exact replica of Kaien- her imaginary friend- only with orange hair. But it was impossible for someone to look like a person she'd imagined...right?

She was bewildered and looked on at him in curiosity.

"Uh...could you do me a favor?" he asked

"What?"

"Would you stop staring at me?"

A blush tainted her cheeks and she looked down "I wasn't staring."

He rolled his eyes "You so were."

"I wasn't!"

"So were"

Thwack!

"Ow" he mumbled as she hit him. She huffed and leaned back. They stayed silent for a few seconds before Ichigo looked up at her and rubbed his hair unconfortably.

"Uh...well, could do me another favor?'

She raised a brow "What?"

"I really need to pack my stuff, so if you could just...come with me and look out for those girls and...yeah" his voice trailed off.

She blinked at him, not really knowing what to say, before shrugging.

"Sure."

* * *

**A/N: Okay...so tell me how that was? I won't be updating for at least 10 days, I have a school trip tomorrow :(:( but I sure hope you think it's worth waiting for.**

**Aaaaah...okay, I'm a mess- have no idea what I'm writing. Blah. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thankyou for your review, B000097z!**

**I decided to add another chapter today as I'm gonna be out of the state for a pretty long time and won't be updating.**

**Anyway, I just wanted the first chapter to go a little future-y...to add effect, maybe, but now I'm just going to write how Rukia ended up at Seretei in the first place and then I'll start off from where I ended in the first chapter.**

**Hope that's okay and doesn't bore you guys because it's gonna be a good three-four chapters before Ichigo turns up again. But if you want, I can add little sneak peeks here and there ;)**

**DISCLAIMER- Don't own Bleach. Just the plot of this fic.**

* * *

**_Ungiven Attention_**

* * *

-:- 22nd March, 2010 7.00 p.m. -:-

Rukia rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. The sun was setting as she made her way back home.

It had been a disastrous day at school. If the fact that her grades were still slipping wasn't enough, and she was being constantly bullied on and told her how flat-chested she was, now she had been told off by the principal. For probably the tenth time.

"And if that isn't irritating enough, they _have _to mention my sister." Rukia said to Kaien as she kicked a rock.

Kaien was the only friend who understood her, or the only friend she had, to be more precise, probably because he was imaginary.

"But Hisana's not that bad." Kaien said, shrugging.

"Are you falling for her now?"

"No, of course not!" he cried, then peeked at her, bending a little "Besides, you know I'm secretly in love with you."

She rolled her eyes and pushed the door of her house. Just like that, Kaien vanished into thin air.

"I'm home!" she cried.

No answer, as usual. Rukia climbed the stairs up to her room that she shared with Hisana.

Hisana was there, reading a book, looking light and beautiful- similar to what Rukia would look like if not for the several scratches and purpled bruises that flawed her arms and face. She made no attempt to talk as she threw her bag and loosened her tie.

It was almost seven, and Hisana and Ami Kuchiki needed no explanation as to why Rukia had been late. They all knew she'd been in detention. As usual.

Half of the room that the sisters shared was purple and filled with posters of teenage heart throbs, famous actors and actresses, and fashion magazines. There were books, teddy bears and mirrors, and clothes hanging smartly off the hangers. There was no mistaking that this half of the room belonged to the pampered, much-loved Hisana Kuchiki.

On the other half was Rukia's bed, with beautiful paintings that Ami called worthless adorning the walls. Color pencils, oil pastels and sketches were littered all over her bed- all bought by Rukia with her own pocket money. The paintings were probably the only thing that attracted a person to Rukia's half of the room and not her sister's.

"How was your day?" Hisana asked.

Rukia fell on her bed "Not better than yours, don't worry." she retorted back, closing her eyes. She made to make herself comfortable when a harsh cry awoke her from downstairs.

"Rukia, get the hell down here!"

Sighing, she got up and walked down the stairs to where Ami Kuchiki stood, arms folded and foot tapping.

"Why haven't you changed out of your uniform?"

"I just came back from school."

"Another detention then. You don't learn, do you?"

Rukia snorted.

Smack! Wrong thing to do. Ami was obviously not in a good mood.

"When I ask you a question, I want you to answer it. Don't you snort in front of me!"

Rukia glared.

"Yes, I had detention, and no, apparently I don't learn but it's not my fault! You think I _enjoy _it?"

"No, but I would've thought that after years of telling you to concentrate, you would've at least tried! Stop making excuses for yourself. Now take that uniform off and run it by the washing machine if you want it to dry off by tomorrow."

"You never tell Hisana that."

"There are many things I don't have to tell Hisana." Ami came closer to Rukia, her icy blue eyes sending chills down her body "Believe me, girl, if you were even half of what she is, I wouldn't be so pissed."

Something about the way Ami had said 'girl' hurt. It was like as if she didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that Rukia was her daughter.

Well, for all she knew, Ami didn't.

* * *

It was nine by the time Rukia got free to start with her homework. Ami had told her to come and help with the house chores, telling not to disturb Hisana.

Her left cheek hurt from where Ami had hit her. Rukia's eyes stared fuzzily at the notebook filled with numbers and symbols she never understood, no matter how uch she tried to try.

She stood up, taking her oil paints out and one of her paintings that she hadn't finished.

"You know you're supposed to finish your homework, don't you?" Kaien asked, appearing out of nowhere.

Rukia grunted as he came behind her and put his arms around her "I don't care. She was there when the doctor told I was dyslexic, but she's somehow got it into her mind that I'm just making up excuses because I'm pathetic."

"She will understand one day"

Rukia laughed, trying to ignore the nostalgia of it all. The time in the doctor's office when her parents had told her everything would be all right, that they would get her through it somehow, that they'd manage it together.

Who was she kidding?

"She won't" she said, looking into the vivid blue of the ocean in her painting.

Paints. It was the only thing that calmed Rukia down when she felt like ripping someone out. The sheet of paper was a way to express herself, an entirely new world- _her _world. Her way of showing a places inside that other might never see otherwise.

Rukia had never learnt painting in any classes, she'd just gotten it on her own. She just let everything in her loose and her fingers knew what to do.

She worked with a critical eye. Her world would go away and she would get lost when she painted. It was the only thing she was good at. The only talent she had.

"Bravo!" smiled Kaien as she did the last strokes and the finishing touches, and stepped back to view the piece of art. "It's perfect!"

She let herself smile. Perfect- a word she was dying to hear from someone's lips.

It was a pretty simple painting- the full moon at a beach with a dark figure standing on the sands, her dress swaying. Somehow, it reminded her of herself.

The water shimmered and Rukia was lost in it, so much so that she didn't hear Ami's rampant yelling, or the stamping on the staircase.

It was only when Ami banged the door open that Rukia jumped and turned to looked at her mother's furious face. Hisana shot up, awoken by the bang and gasped, looking around.

"Mom? What's the matter?"

"Rukia Kuchiki, have you been hiding your test results from me?"

Rukia winced as she was pulled down by the hair. So the secret reason for her detention was out.

"I found this when it fell out of your bag." Ami held up an exam paper, showing a big, red 'F' marked on top "Tell me! How dare you? How dare you!"

"M-Mom-"

"Out of this, Hisana! You're despicable, Rukia!" Ami pushed her away. Rukia fell on her canvas and sunk into the floor, taking her painting with her.

"N-No!" she cried, clutching it delicately, but the paint had already been smeared off. It was ruined.

"And what is _that_?" Ami grabbed the canvas, and her rage only grew. "I told you to stop this pathetic drawing! I do not earn for you to wile it all away in some messy scrawl and rainbow colours!"

Rukis tried to reach out for the painting desperately but failed as Ami stamped downstairs, muttering cuss words.

She looked back to see Hisana's face holding an expression of pity and remorse.

"She's in a pretty bad mood tonight, Rukia. Her boss threatened to fire her." Hisana explained, biting her lip "You shouldn't have done this, you know it'll only egg her on."

Rukia threw her a glare before running down the stairs.

* * *

She froze when she saw Ami kneeling towards the fireplace, the painting in the flames, and her mother curled up, rocking herself as tears ran down her face.

"Wha-"

Her voice died from her throat. Rukia didn't know what to do as Ami looked up at her.

"What am I supposed to do w-with you? I- I try s-so _hard_, Rukia...and then I c-come back and everything- _everything-_ I hope f-for both of you goes down...I'm so s-sorry.." she cried to her daughter "..I d-don't know what to do with you..."

Rukia's violet eyes watched as the waters of the ocean in the painting were engulfed by the flames. Her vision was blurring.

"Come...p-please come, I'm so sorry..." Ami raised her arms but Rukia started backing away.

"Leave me alone."

"Please, I love you..."

"Leave me alone!"

Rukia ran up the stairs and inside her room. Hisana stared at her tear-smudged face, wide-eyed.

"What happened?"

Rukia said nothing, just fell on her bed and curled up inside her covers, trying to forget it all.

What had happened to that old, happy-go-lucky family? The family that went on picnics, laughed, the mother who held her and told her it was okay, the father who pulled on faces and got scolded. It felt like it had happened only hours ago, that memory of the good, old days. So real, so terrifyingly real that if Rukia turned, she thought she might see her set of parents sitting on the picnic sheet, spreading out the food and kissing while Hisana went "Ewwwwww!". But all Rukia saw was the plain, brick wall staring back at her.

* * *

**A/N: Well, aren't I depressing? Sorry, but had to live up to the angst part of my fic, hadn't I?**

**Hope it wasn't too boring, yeah? Please review, and thanks for reading!**

**~SS~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back from my schooltrip. Came back just this morning and updated as fast as I could, so you guys better be thankful ;) **

**Thankyou B000097z, Camille loves chocolate, SayoShihoinXKohAyamerei, Moonblossom15 and falconrukichi for your reviews!**

**Onto the next chapter. Sorry if it's boring :P**

**DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN BLEACH.**

* * *

_**Runaway**_

* * *

-:- 5th April, 2011 6:00 p.m. -:-

They crept down the hall quietly, Rukia tip-toeing and keeping her eyes wide pen as Ichigo ducked behind lockers and coke machines, waiting for the green signal.

"Will you please tell me where you need to go in the first place?" she hissed at him.

"The Boy's Dorms obviously." he said, annoyed.

"I know the Boy's Dorms, but for your information, they consist of five buildings!"

He rolled his eyes at her "I _know_ that, just leave me at the Entry Gate. After that I can manage myself, midget."

She stopped, making him bump into her.

"What? I don't- OW! FU-"

Rukia had grabbed his collar and slammed him onto a nearby coke machine with her leaning onto him threateningly "Don't you dare call me a midget, you- you strawberry!"

Ichigo's brow furrowed angrily "What do you-"

Suddenly his eyes widened as his eyes fell on something on Rukia's arm. Rukia looked down to see that her full sleeve had rolled down when she'd held his collar, and that her left forearm was almost exposed.

Immediately she let go of him and smoothed it down.

"What was that?" Ichigo asked, unnerved.

"Nothing."

"No, I swear I saw some-"

"It was nothing.' she huffed, turning away from him so that he couldn't see her expression " Now if you want my help then stop calling me a midget and stopped looking at things you're not supposed to."

Ichigo watched her go, eyes narrowed.

* * *

-:- 23rd March, 2010 7:00 a.m. -:-

Rukia walked down to the silent breakfast table the next morning. Hisana was eating toast, and Ami in the kitchen, cooking. The warm smell of omellete filled the spring air. Without a word, Rukia opened the door to get out.

"Eat something before you go" Hisana said from behind quietly.

"I'm fine" Rukia muttered and slammed it behind her.

Hisana turned to look at Ami "You don't have to be so harsh on her."

"I don't know what to be anymore." Ami shot back.

* * *

Doodling on the backpage of her book seemed to be the best way to pass the time.

"Miss Kuchiki!"

She jumped.

"What's the solution to this equation?" the sir gestured to the blackboard.

Rukia stared blankly at the numbers that swam in front of her eyes. Several students giggled, some looked on sympathetically.

"I'm waiting." the sir said.

Rukia remained silent.

"What is it, Rukia Kuchiki? Sum too hard?" the sir began walking over to her desk "Okay, then, at least you can tell me what I said to the class two minutes ago."

"..."

Minutes passed, but she said nothing. He came closer to her and looked at the bunny she had doodles on her book. He held it up for the whole class to see.

"Look, children, a great artist is born!"

They laughed. Rukia bowed her head down, trying to control her temper and said nothing yet still.

"If you put the slightest effort you put on this on your studies then maybe you won't have to make excuses about Dyslexia." the sir said coldly "You're letting it get the better of you. If you ever had the will to do something about it, you would've done it ages ago. Where is that will? Who would even think that you are Hisana Kuchiki's sister?" he took out a piece of paper and scribbled something down before handing it to her "I want you to take this to the Principal."

Sighing, Rukia took it and walked out of the class, but just before she had stepped out into the corridor, someone called out quietly.

"Hey, piece of advice!" it was Lee, the principal's son "You wanna resemble your sister? Get a boob job done!"

Nearby people sniggered.

Slowly Rukia turned around, with furious eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, I think you heard."

Rukia neared him, seeing red all of a sudden. The sir noticed.

"Rukia Kuchiki, I told you to leave-"

She turned to look at the teacher.

"Go to hell"- and her fist came down on Lee's cheek, knocking him out straight out in one blow.

* * *

"I'm so sorry" Ami pleaded to the principal in a completely transformed voice from her usual bark. She sent a poisonous look at Rukia, who stood beside her, head hung.

"I must say I am disappointed! I have been giving this girl chance after chance, hoping to see a flickr of Hisana Kuchiki in her, hoping she might just change, overseeing all of her excuses, trying to cure her of her Dyslexia- but this is abominable!"

"N-No, I promise-"

"I'm sorry, but with how she's turned out..." the principal sent a loathing look at the girl "There is no way I will keep her in my school. For your sake, Mrs. Kuchiki, I'd rather you take her out before I expel her. If I do, then it will be on her record and no school will take her. I'm sure you don't want that."

* * *

Once after the paperwork was done, Ami took Rukia roughly by the strap of her tunic and dragged her down to the parking lot. Once they reached, she slammed her to the wall.

Ami was tall, and Ruki had obviously no inherited the height of either of her tall parents. She was pinned, but she didn't bother to argue. She was too used to it.

"You hit the principal's son. You hit the principal's _son_?"Ami cried with bloodshot eyes "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Her hands gripped Rukia's neck and tightened. Rukia spluttered, and her legs kicked around as she grabbed her mother's wrist, eyes watering.

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

Rukia choked and looked into Ami's cold blue eyes, which were frozen and still. For a moment, all that hint of warmth was gone- there was a psychotic flash in there and for that moment, Rukia knew she was going to die. Ami had become a monster. Ever since the divorce, Ami had become a monster- she had changed forever. She looked at Rukia and she saw the offspring that destroyed her relationship, that caused all the fights, all the problems.

Rukia knew, and she closed her eyes, going limp. Just then, Ami let go, and Rukia fell to the ground, gasping.

Ami looked horrified, staring at her daughter curled up there and said nothing for a minute.

Then she took her into her arms and began to walk back to the car, throwing her into the carseat roughly.

"I don't know you. I don't know what you want from me!" she muttered, shutting the car door after her and putting it into gear "I don't need you. Go live with that man you call your father! I don't need you!"

* * *

Rukia looked out at the moon bitterly. Did they know how horrible it felt when someone said they didn't need you? She looked around at the paintings she'd done whenever she'd been sad. She wondered if they would look more beautiful if she did one being happy. Would they? She wondered if she'd ever find out.

She looked down at her left forearm which was smeared with blood. Did she feel happy? Ami had announced that she would be calling her father the next day and making arrangements for Rukia to shift and be out of her life.

Rukia would be seeing Kuro Michita after so many years she'd forgotten to count. Was her father the same or had he also changed like Ami had?

The letters she'd carved on her arm- 'Perfect'- glistened under the silvery moonlight, the blood trickling down the jagged lines. She wondered why it didn't hurt as much as it should. Maybe the pain in her chest numbed the pain in her arm.

She wasn't perfect. She was never good enough, never. She knew she was talented. She wanted someone to see it. She wanted someone to tell her she was right- that she was not useless, that she was strong enough for anything. She wanted someone. Just someone. Anyone who would believe in her. Anyone who would tell her she could be perfect.

* * *

**A/N: Now, don't you hate me? **

**I'm sorry if this was overdramatic, but I was in the mood (courtesy of listening to sappy songs). I'm sorry, I haven't done any editing or read this chapter once after typing, I'm really tired, so pardon any mistakes or if the text is not that good or my writing was too blunt or bad :P. I'll probably do it once I'm done with other leftover stuff on my list.**

**Tell me if you liked it or not and thankyou for reading all of you. I'll be happy to answer any questions :)**

**And yeah, I got the idea of cutting her hand and writing 'Perfect' on it from the music video of 'Perfect' by Pink (a****nd I don't own the song or the artist)**. It's gruesome, and please don't try it. Anyone who's reading this, do NOT try it, and I am in no way supportive of anything like this. So if you're depressed, don't cut yourself- go see a shrink.

**Leave a review...?**

**Thankyou for reading, adding this to your favorites and alerts, guys. You are the BEST!**

**~SS~**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: And I'm back so soon. Aren't I the best?  
**

**Anyway, thanks Aletheya, B000097z, Star fire girl 788, Moo I'm a duck (awesome username by the way), lone ruler, Guest, Camille loves chocolate, xlr8 and Darkmyr-InuYashaFan for your reviews :):):) I love you guys!**

**Oh, and to Guest (who reviewed Chapter 2)- No, my story is not based on the song Perfect by Simple Plan,**** it's actually based on the song Perfect by Pink**. I listened to the one by Simple Plan and it's funny how much they match even though I didn't know about the song at all! :) Thanks for mentioning that though.

**Sorry for putting Rukia through so much suffering, guys :(**

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN THE SONG OR BLEACH**

* * *

_**I'll be Gone Away Awhile**_

* * *

-:- 5h April, 2011 6:10 p.m. -:-

Ichigo followed after Rukia, frowning.

"You're being very bossy, you know that?"

"I'm aware. And since I'm the only reason you haven't been fed to any girls til now, I suggest you live with it." Rukia snapped "Just be happy I'm not asking for anything in return."

"I'll give you an autographed photo." he smiled sweetly "But _only_ if you behave."

"I don't want you to repay me in any way, but if you insist, then you can buy me breakfast." she smiled back. He frowned.

Rukia didn't know why, but she felt surprisingly good. All that frustration of the past year, wondering whether her father was alright or not, her mother and her sister- everything had come out in this small squabble, and it felt so, so good.

She eyed Ichigo from the corner of her eyes. He was sulking, muttering something under his breath. Rukia couldn't help but smile at the sight, and giggled.

Ichigo looked up, annoyed "What?"

"Nothing"

"You were laughing at me!"

She shrugged "Maybe I was"

"Why?"

She shrugged again much to his frustration. He opened his mouth to say something when a trail of girly voices came echoing off the halls, followed by heels clicking.

"I wonder where he's gone..."

"Aw, Shir, you don't have to be so put down- we all know Kurosaki-kun runs away because he's intimidated by your confidance."

Ichigo sent Rukia a panicked look. She giggled.

"Stop laughing and do what I brought you here for!"

"Okay, okay-"

Rukia looked around and quickly pushed him inside a door just as the two girls came around the corner. One of them was a brunette, quite plump, ugly and pug-faced, while the other was blonde, with a pack of make-up highlighting her face. It made her look attractive and it suited her, but in a strange way, she didn't look any prettier. She was twirling a strand of blonde lock when her eyes fell on Rukia.

"Um...hello?"

"Hey" Rukia said, fake-smiling.

"Hey- aren't you that Dyslexic chick in first year?"

Rukia stiffened "I'm not."

The brunette nudged the other "Shirley, shush! Remember what Prof. Yoda told us!"

"Oh, right! Crud, I'm so sorry!" Shirley sent Rukia a sympathetic look "Don't worry, sweetie. Dyslexia is _so_ in right now." she nodded wisely.

Rukia watched them with growing anger and amusement, wondering whether to yell or to laugh. Some people could be so shallow sometimes. A scuffle sounded from the room that Rukia had pushed Ichigo in. She held the door knob firmly, not letting the door open.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you can try it if you want. Being Dyslexic- not being able to read" Rukia shrugged at the two "You wouldn't even have to pretend."

The girl's faces laced with shock and fury while Rukia watched them smugly, leaning on one foot.

"You bitch" Shirley spat.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Rukia rolled her eyes as the two walked off.

A loud yell came from inside the room she had pushed Ichigo in. The door burst open and Ichigo was dragged out by Professor Zaraki, who was pulling Ichigo by his ear.

"Who do you think you are barging in my office like that, young man?! Have you no other business than snooping around- TELL ME WHAT YOU STOLE!"

"I didn't steal anything, dammit! I _told_ you-"

"THEN WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON STEALING?!"

"NOTHING! I _said_ that I-"

"I will NOT have disobeying brats like you spying on me! Get out of my sight before I do some serious damage on you!"

Zaraki pushed Ichigo off of him and slammed his office door shut. Ichigo fell on the floor. Rukia watched in amusement as he began to get up.

"Professor Zaraki? _Serisously?!_ You could've thrown me _anywhere_ and you throw me in that madman's office?!"

Rukia burst out laughing at looking at his face. His scowl deepened but did less to subside her laughter as she went on and on, clutching her stomach. How amazing it felt to laugh like this, to feel like you could melt in one moment and to revel in that for that one second, to have a happy memory to think about in the days to come. She laughed and laughed and laughed, and Ichigo's expression softened somewhat. He'd noticed this girl in the corridors, she stayed alone most of the times. Even with friends she was distant, she rarely laughed, and she rarely meant it. Somehow her laughter was music to the ears. But then he realized she was laughing at his sorry ass.

"Shut up" he mumbled, getting up and brushing his clothes.

Rukia shook her head and wiped away tears of laughter, straightening up and taking a deep breath.

"I can't believe-"

"K-Kurosaki-kun!" someone squealed nearby.

Rukia and Ichigo exchanged a horrified look before she grabbed him and threw him in Zaraki's office once again.

* * *

-:- 7th April, 2010 5:00 p.m. -:-

The next two weeks passed quickly as Rukia spent most of her time packing to leave for her father's place, which was somewhere in Karakura town, a small town in some damn place she had never heard of.

She had tucked away all her paintings in a big duffel bag, and only a few clothes, save a few belongings and spent her last days there doodling, stuck inside her room and ignoring her sister and mother.

Rukia sat on a chair, overlooking the window one afternoon. Her father, Kuro, would be arriving to pick her up at around five in the evening. Ami hadn't given Rukia a glance and Rukia refused to stoop so low as to ask her to.

There was a scuffle in the doorway, but Rukia didn't bother to turn.

"So, you're finally out of this hellhole." Ami's quiet voice came as she made her way to Rukia.

Rukia said nothing, just kept on looking at the sky.

"You can cheer up a little now, huh?"

"You think it's a joke?" Rukia asked her, turning around "You think that everything will be fine now that I'm leaving? If you do, then let me remind you that this is not what I wanted! I never- _never-_ wanted this! I wanted you to change, to look at me, not to throw me away and give up on me thinking it's for the best. You think it's all going to be alright because I'm far away from all this? It's not even close to alright- it's pathetic and horrible!"

Ami watched her. Ami- with her raven black hair and beautiful blue eyes, eyes with that warmth Rukia had rarely seen. For a minute, Ami looked like the mother she had once been.

"You're the one who's going to cheer up" Rukia continued slowly "You made me go."

"I know. But I can't trust you with me anymore" Ami said tearfully. Rukia didn't know what to think- whether Ami was acting just for the sake of their last day together or finally feeling remorse "But you're my daughter. I don't hate you."

Rukia let Ami embrace her for one last time and felt a lump in her throat. It wasn't the same when someone said 'I don't hate you' instead of saying 'I love you', but it was better than saying 'I don't love you' anyway.

Kaien appeared from behind Ami and smiled a little.

"Wanna forget me too, Kuchiki?"

Rukia blinked away tears and nodded.

Kaien shrugged "Fair enough. Starting a new life- new friends and all."

Just as he vanished into thin air, Ami let go of Rukia and nodded.

"Goodbye then."

And she walked out the door.

* * *

-:- 8th April, 2010 8:00 p.m. -:-

"Welcome to my humble abode!"

Rukia walked in as her father held the door open for her.

"How is it then?!"

The house was very small- one bathroom, one kitchen, and two small bedrooms. The living room was stuffed with bed cushions and a portable TV sat in front of the cushion 'couch'. Michita joined her after closing the door and watched her.

She blinked.

"It's...brilliant"

"Why, thankyou" he smiled and held her at shoulder's length "My God, I still can't take you in! You've grown so much! I mean, not that tall, obviously"

Rukia laughed.

"And Hisana...you might even be twins!"

Rukia's mind flashed back to the sad look in Hisana's eyes when Rukia and Michita had departed from the house. Ami hadn't sent Michita one important glance, nothing except saying "Take care of her" to which Kuro had curtly replied "Better than you, I will." and walked out.

"Yeah, it's been- it's been a long time" Rukia nodded and looked up at her father. He was growing a stubble, but his eyes were the same twinkling brown and skin the pale yellow. Only the glow he had was gone from him, which wasn't that surprising considering that he had lost his whole family.

"I'll be in my room. D'you mind if I use the bathroom?" Rukia asked, setting her suitcase down.

Kuro laughed "It's yours too now, hon."

Rukia gave him a weak smile and quickly getting a pair of jeans, shirt and her towel, locked herself in the bathroom.

For some strange reason, the bathroom was the one place where Rukia had been able to escape everything- where she just sat under the shower for hours and tried to think things out- where she yelled and played different characters from different movies- using the handshower as the gun. It had always been the place where she could stand, stark naked without a care in the world, and still get to shoot the villains, stand and cry, have her own fairytale ending- leave reality for a little while.

She turned the shower on and leaned against the cool walls of the bathroom, the cold water running down her body she slid down, hugging her body and tilting her face up to have the water hit her right on her face. She sighed. The cool water washed away the burning stings of all those bruises upon bruises that Ami had given her- all those cuts Rukia had given herself. They shone against the bathroom light, silver scars, straight snd flawed.

She was here in Karakura. In around three months, if she succeeded to pass her A Levels, she'd be going to college. Any college or university she wanted, regardless of whether she'd gone to school or not. She wondered if Kuro would go to such extent of trouble for her, to teach her or home-school her for her exams.

She felt her thoughts drifting towards Hisana and Ami. The way she had treated Hisana hadn't seemed fair. Hisana had always treated Rukia like her true sister, had always loved her, but Rukia had been jealous of all the attention Hisana had received from everyone.

"Rukia- you okay?!" came her father's voice from outside the door "It's been a quarter of an hour since you've been in there-"

Rukia's eyes shot open. 45 minutes already?

"I'm- fine..." she called out, stepping out of the shower and wiping her body with the towel.

"Okay, I have dinner ready"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

She winced as the fabric of her towel ran over the cuts on her arm. She quickly pulled her clothes on and got out.

That night, they both had dinner like a normal family- they caught up with each other's lives. Michita had a job at a restaurant but he had taken some time off to spend time with her. She noticed that he kept on looking at her body with curiosity and kept on frowning. She knew he'd noticed the bruises on her arms and legs that Ami had given her and the faint traces of the cuts that stretched almost halfway across her arm, only he refused to say anything. He kept the conversation going and laughing. To see how shaken he was by looking at her injuries (although he didn't mention it) was pleasing- to know that someone had cared.

She felt like she was wanted, even if a little bit, or if at all.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, sappiness, thou art a bitch. **

**Anyway, there you go, this was the next chapter. There are not many Ichiruki moments but I can ensure you that in a couple of chapters once I'm done flashbacking to the past, IchiRuki will...uh...kinda be there *grins*. **

**Oh, I might not be able to update as quickly as I'm doing now because school starts from Monday for me, and considering that for more than two-third of it I was out for my trip, I need to catch up on my holiday homework. Yeah, homework's a bitch too. **

**Anyway, liked it, hated it? Tell me! **

**Thanks for reading, reviewing, adding this to your favorites/alerts. LOVE YOU ALL.**

**~SS~**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello there, I'm back! :D**

**First of all, thank you Aletheya, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Iris Irine, andyantopia, Camille loves chocolate, Star fire girl 788, B000097z, mooopower, Guest, ArsinoetheXXVII, Tilana, key, totaleclipse84 and D for your wonderful reviews!**

**To D- I listened to Perfect by Hedley, it's pretty good! In my opinion, I think all these three songs suit this fic in different ways, the one by Simple Plan and Pink relate to Rukia and her family. And the one by Hedley relates to Ichigo and Rukia (except the leaving part obviously)**

**DISCLAIMER- Nope. Still don't own Bleach, or the song. Sad.**

**Here's the next chapter-**

* * *

**_The New Beginning._**

* * *

-:- 5h April, 2011 6:30 p.m. -:-

"-BY FOOLS AND HOPELESS STALKERS BUT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!"

Urahara Kisuke was holding his hat, rolling his eyes. Zaraki Kenpachi, their History professor stood bellowing, along with Rukia and Ichigo who stood silently, heads hung.

"_He _is after something!" Kenpachi pointed dramatically at Ichigo "He wants to steal some priceless artifact from my office, no doubt!"

"That's stupid, I-"

"_Silence,_ Kurosaki! And as we can all see- he now has a partner-in-crime!" Kenpachi glared at Rukia with blood-shot eyes. "I want justice, Kisuke!"

"And justice will be done. You may leave now, Professor" smiled Urahara warmly.

After Kenpachi had stormed out and slammed the door behind him, the Dean nodded his head at the two students.

"You may go now, you two."

Ichigo and Rukia looked up in surprise.

"W-what?"

"You may go. I'll eat my hat if Zaraki hasn't dragged someone or the other to my office claiming they're out to get him every other week. You can leave and pack for tomorrow. Happy holidays!" Urahara waved his hat at them, smiling.

Rukia nodded and they walked out of the office in silence. The minute they were out of earshot, Ichigo glared at her.

"You _moron_! What were you thinking when you pushed me in there again?"

"I was trying to help! There were those girls coming-"

"And I couldn't hide anywhere else?"

"Where else would you have hidden, the trashcan-"

"Anything was better than that loon's lair-"

"Yeah, if you weren't so freakin' tall you could probably- oof!"

Rukia ran straight into Ichigo as he stopped. She heard a babble of voices and immediately recognized them to be female. A grin was slowly making it's way on Rukia's face just as Ichigo grabbed her and pulled her through a door- which turned out to be another janitor's closet. .

He sighed and cursed, leaning against a shelf of floor detergents.

"Back here again."

"At least it's not on the same floor."

"Oh ha ha, very funny."

She eyed him, then giggled. His orange clashed brightly in the dim light of the bulb while he stood, running a hand through his hair.

"What're you laughing about?"

"It's funny how you're so scared of a bunch of girls." she eyed him cheekily. All of a sudden, she felt alive. It was so silly, to feel happy because she was insulting someone, but suddenly, it felt better- to know that she was not the only one who did stupid things.

He frowned "Am not."

"You so are"

"I am so not! If you spent a year of your friggin' life being proposed to, or having someone or the other hack into your locker and leave roses and stuff there, you would be hiding too!"

"Uh-huh. Must be so horrifying- to be liked." Rukia replied, looking up to meet his eyes "I guess I should be happy I'm not in your place then."

Something about her eyes cut Ichigo in the middle of his sentence. He blinked a little. He'd noticed Rukia many times in class, but had mostly ignored her because she had always seemed too gothic. Now that he was with her, he wondered how he could've gone through the year without talking to her. This was the first time he was having a civil conversation with a female. Even Inoue Orihime, his only female friend, was awkward around him.

"...Yeah, I guess" he breathed, clearing his throat.

They stayed there in silence for a little while before he talked again.

"So- you're staying back or going home for the holidays?"

Rukia smiled. She was going home. She had a home to go to.

"I'm going home. You too, right?"

"Yep. Wish I didn't have to though."

"Why?"

"Eh." Ichigo shrugged "My dad's a psycho."

"Must be fun."

"Oh believe me, it's not fun. The only reason I'm going is because of my sisters." Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and rolled his eyes "Well, one sister in particular- the other pretends she doesn't give a damn about me. That's Karin, she's a badass." Ichigo chuckled, shaking his head.

Rukia watched him, noticing how he didn't mention his mother but didn't say anything. She wanted to be like how Ichigo was right now, how he was laughing and so fondly talking about his family.

"Yeah...I- I guess it is fun." Ichigo said thoughtfully "What about you?"

"Oh, my Dad's going to be there waiting for me."

Ichigo hesitated, and Rukia waited. She knew he was going to ask something about the rest of her family, but he looked like he wasn't sure. How could he be? What to ask a person who you've met in the Janitor's Closet? And a personal question, at that.

Just then, the female voices trailed away and there was silence. As quietly as she could, Rukia peeked around the corner and saw the corridor empty.

"Okay, the way's clear" she told Ichigo, who squeezed out from beside her, heaving a sigh of relief.

"Finally!"

She got out and watched him, and she didn't know why she was smiling. She couldn't believe what had happened in the past hour. It seemed like a stupid observation, but Rukia was convinced that the amount of thrill and joy the last almost one hour had brought her was more than the thrill or joy the last 15 years had brought her.

And so, without warning, she burst out laughing, doubling over. Ichigo stared at her but she didn't care.

"Hey...are you okay?"

She shook her head, just kept on laughing. Ichigo couldn't help but watch her. She did indeed look beautiful when she laughed. He tried to get a sneak peek of her arm- he swore he'd seen something there- but no such luck.

"Th-thankyou..." Rukia choked out to him,

He raised a brow "For what?"

"Just...thankyou" she looked up at him and her eyes were bright and lit-up "For today."

"...Sure, no problem...but..uh-" he looked around awkwardly "- I still need someone to watch while I sneak over to the Boy's hostels."

Rukia straightened up "Right. I'll accompany you then." and she marched forward, feeling surprisingly euphoric when she heard his voice from behind her.

"Hey- you know, you haven't told me your name yet."

She turned around to smile at him.

"Rukia Kuchiki."

* * *

-:- 10th April, 2010 6:00 p.m. -:-

"I always knew you'd become an artist! These are wonderful!" Kuro Michita exclaimed, hugging Rukia as he gazed at the paintings she had done. Rukia had brought all of them with her when she had shifted with him.

"You think?"

"I _think_? I know! I'm so proud of you!"

Rukia smiled. She hadn't felt so normal in ages. It was like Hisana and Ami never existed- except for the one time when Hisana had wanted to talk to Rukia. Deep hatred and envy had bubbled through Rukia and she had flatly refused to talk.

Michita never brought up any talk about Rukia's bruises, but she felt his gaze through her whenever he narrowed his eyes at her injuries. She kept her cuts hidden under full sleeves, but that couldn't be done to all of the bruises she had. She knew Kuro was struggling to ask her about it- how could a father ask his daughter whether her mother- the woman he had once loved- had hurt her or not?

And just like that the days passed. Kuro began home-schooling Rukia. She was amazed by the amount of effort he put into making her understand. She didn't know from where he found the time to teach her and work for his job, but somehow, somewhere he did. If this was called caring, then Rukia was being cared for.

She couldn't believe it- even thinking about being loved made her feel giddy and special- was that normal?

Their house's walls adorned her paintings- all the ten frames and the papers and sketches lying around. Rukia hadn't received this level of satisfaction in ages. Michita seemed to really believe in her. And when he thought she wasn't noticing, he did things, the small little things that matter to make her feel better. When he thoughy she was sleeping he would come and gently check her bruises. She found out that the channel that ran her favorite TV program- The Adventures of Chappy was added to the cable. Every now and then Kuro would try out new looks for her room, as he said the room seemed too desolate. He seemed to be desperate to fill in for all of the years he'd been absent from her life.

Also, he had been preparing her for the Entrance Exam for one of the most prestigious universities of Japan- Seretei Academy. Rukia had given up, but seeing how much Kuro was doing, she's decided to put in some effort for his sake. All of a sudden she seemed to get better- the numbers and letters were twisted and turned, but they didn't seem to fly anymore.

And when Rukia had said "There's no way I'm getting into Seretei- I'm Dyslexic." to Kuro, he had laughed and said "Well, do something about it. It's not incurable. Fight it and win. Go to the other side and get a taste of victory!"

She'd just rolled her eyes and said "Dad, just say 'nothing is impossible'. Why the whole inspirational speech?"

"Oh, some things _are_ impossible, sweetie." he'd replied seriously "I just think Dyslexia is an extremely bad example for it."

And so, she'd decided to prove ii was.

* * *

-:- 15th July, 2010 5:45 p.m. -:-

"50 seats are left. 50 seats are open. Only 50 seats. Only and only 50 seats. Only and only and only-"

"Just open the letter, Rukia, you're killing me!"

Kuro was hopping on his feet, looking more excited than her as she gripped the manilla envelope that said 'Sereitei Academy' tightly in her tiny hands.

She looked over at him skeptically "You do know that if I rank after 50th place I won't get the seat, don't you?"

"If you don't _open _it, you'll never know!"

"But I-"

"Aaah!" he grabbed the envelope and ran across the room away from her.

"Dad, no! Give it back!" Rukia shrieked as he ripped it open.

"No! No way- I'm opening it, and if I-" Kuro's voice trailed away as his eyes fell on the sheet. He didn't say anything- just stared.

"What?"

Nothing.

"Dad! What?"

Still nothing.

"Dad, say something! Did I get in?"

Kuro looked up at her with shocked eyes and slowly shook his head...no.

Rukia slumped down on the cushion sofa. Feeling hollow. She didn't get in. She hadn't gotten in..

"I- I didn't- I worked so hard..." she whispered, looking up at her father's unreadable face "I didn't get in..."

Kuro didn't say anything and was keeping a blank face. That was when Rukia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Dad..."

He was trying so hard...so hard not to laugh...so hard- so, _so_ hard-

"Dad!"

He burst out laughing, hugging her.

"I was kidding- you got in- 37th place! My Rukia got in! You got in!"

And all of the sadness, everything went off- she didn't care as she hugged her father, realizing that she had also accomplished something in her life. That she also had a road to walk on, all her doors weren't closed.

She wondered what Ami and Hisana would say if they were with her right then.

But then, at that moment, as she watched her father chant her name and celebrate, she didn't give a damn.

* * *

**A/N: I know, it went kinda slow towards the end- but look at the bright side of it- the past/flashbacks are now officially over! So you don't have to be confused with all the dates and everything, because quite frankly, I was, so I can only imagine how my readers would be. Sorry about the second scene, there were mostly paragraphs in it. I myself don't really like a story with a lot of paragraphs and no dialogues, but this one had to be done. :P ****And I didn't really check this chapter either ( not that much) so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I hope there aren't though.**

**Well, tell me what you think! I hope I'm still improving and not going the wrong way because I have a tiny feeling I am... *fingers crossed***

**Please review, and thankyou for reading, reviewing, adding this to your favorites and alerts!**

**Hopefully, I'll see you guys soon :)**

**~SS~**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thankyou falconrukichi, Guest, Aletheya, Star fire girl 788, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Camille loves chocolate, D, totaleclipse84 and Iris Irine for your awesome reviews!**

**This isn't exactly very soon- I think it's honestly been more than two weeks since I last updated.. sorry! I hope you guys are still reading!**

**One of my reviewers, D, said they would like to know more about Ami's past and why she hates Rukia. I don't remember if I have explained it later on in this fic, so I'll just give a rough sketch. Bottom line is, Rukia had always been attached to Kuro more than Ami. After she was diagnosed with Dyslexia, both the parents had a hard time trying to teach Rukia and allowing her to lead a normal life. Ami was left at home teaching and tutoring her while Kuro was in the office. Rukia made fits and fussed about not wanting to study and paint instead. Kuro let her, but Ami grew more frustrated, and this ended up in Ami and Kuro fighting over Rukia and what was best for her. Kuro began coming home late at nights, and Ami filed for divorce, hoping to get rid of Rukia and give her custody to Kuro but Social Services deemed him unfit for taking care of a child, so Ami was left with both the girls. Ever since then, Ami always blamed Rukia for everything that went wrong in her life. But in her own twisted way, Ami does love Rukia. **

**This chapter is after the day Rukia and Ichigo meet in the Janitor's Closet on the last day of college.**

* * *

_**Perfect Moments**_

"So you're from Karakura too? That's a co-incidence" Rukia said, sipping her coffee.

It was the morning of April 6th. The campus was buzzing with all the morning energy, and had already been emptied except for the few students who were staying back. Rukia sat in the cafetaria with Ichigo, who was presenting her with the breakfast he owed her after how she had helped him in the night.

He eyed the plates in front of her. So far she had finished hash brown potatoes, toasted bread, rice balls and a grilled cheese sandwich. Now she was sipping coffee.

"I guess you were hungry"

She looked "Or maybe I just wanted to waste your money"

He frowned "That's really not fair after what you did last night!"

Rukia smirked. She hadn't particularly liked him the previous night when he'd constantly bossed her around while she looked out for his crazed fan girls.

When his annoying jabs had become too much to handle, Rukia had coolly led him straight into a crowd of female fans, and his life had been hell for the next two hours as he was showered with gifts and flowers and phone numbers.

Ichigo had not let Rukia live in peace either though, and had banged on her hostel room's door 'til ten p.m., yelling out to irritate her until the warden had dragged him away.

Rukia had been far from irritated, she'd been laughing her ass off from the other side of the door. The guy had really made her day.

But now morning had arrived and everything was forgotten. Ichigo had come to her, mumbling something about owing her breakfast, so here they were.

"Good morning, minions!" Renji's voice came. He grinned, sitting down on the empty chair "I heard your voice echoing through the campus last night, Ichigo. Something about fighting for your freedom. What was that all about?"

Ichigo eyed Rukia and scowled, saying nothing.

"_And_ a little birdie tells me you were at the Girls' Hostels til ten! Tut- tut, you know the time limit is nine o' clock, Kurosaki. Which girl were you banging?"

"Shut up!" Ichigo pushed him off the chair angrily and the red-haired youth fell to the ground with an almighty crash.

Rukia laughed as Renji made to get up, frowning.

"Somebody's sensitive."

"You should lay off him. He's meeting his dad today, he's extra annoyed." Rukia said.

Renji eyed her "How do you know about his mental dad? Wait- how are you even friends? I thought you hated him, Rukia! You pinky-promised you would never fall for his charms!"

Ichigo choked on his own coffee and rapped the guy on his head "Shut up!"

"Rukia, you promised!"

"I know. I still hate him, don't worry." Rukia said, rolling her eyes "It's just that I'm going to be on the same train as him, so we thought it'd be fun if we travel together."

Ichigo rubbed his head and nodded, eyeing the petite girl. There was something different about her- maybe that was why he hadn't refused the offer of traveling together even when she was clearly very annoying. They'd even exchanged phone numbers.

"Oh." Renji's eyes fell down on the food in front of her "For someone so small, you sure eat a lot, Kuchiki."

Whack!

"Shut up!"

* * *

Ami entered the room, a tray in her hands, which had a cup of herbal tea and some biscuits. Her eyes not leaving the form on the bed, she set the tray down on a nearby stool.

"Eat up"

"I'm not hungry" Hisana replied in a frail voice, ignoring the stab of pain that shot through her body and forcing a smile on her face to reassure her mother.

The summer season was going now, and it was somewhere between pre-monsoon and rainy. She looked out the window at the scores of buildings outside and the leaves swaying.

Hisana's chest ached- a slow, incresing ache that would soon penetrate her; she knew she wasn't going to recover, even if Ami went ahead of herself to go and consult millions of doctors.

"Drink this at least. You need something in your system." Ami said, handing the cup to her daughter with trembling hands.

Hisana reluctantly took it and continued to gaze out the window.

"Mom, how's Rukia?"

Ami stiffened at the mention of her younger daughter's nae, as she always had.

"Well, she managed to land herself in Seretei, so she'll be fine." she replied in a flat voice.

"You haven't talked to her at all, have you?"

"Ofcourse I haven't. Why should I? I call her father every month, she's fine."

Hisana smiled a little and looked around at her room. Now the walls were full of posters of actors and movies- Rukia's paintings had them, the wall looked lifeless, like something had been ripped off of them, dreary and blank.

The doorbell rang, and Ami stood up "I'll get it."

Softly, she brushed her hand on top of Hisana's raven hair, ruffled them lightly and walked away.

Hisana's smile dropped and she looed over at Rukia's empty bed. It had been properly made by Ami, which was so unlike Rukia because she never made her bed, just to have something she could irritate Ami by.

"I miss you little sister" Hisana said softly "Believe it or not, but I do."

"Hisana, you have a visitor." Ami said, a fain trace of a smile on her lips as she disappeared down the corridor.

Hisana's eyes went wide as she stared at the guest who closed the door behind him and set a large bouquet of roses down on the stool next to the tray. He came to sit down by Hisana's bedside on the chair. Her face beamed and she put on a big smile. The guest was a dark-haired, handsome young man with a straight, cold face like an ivory statue.

"Byakuya!"

"You may drop the fake smile now."

Hisana giggled "I'm not fake smiling, believe me. I'm so happy to see you!"

"That's nice to know" he replied, watching her closely "Has there been any progress in your condition?"

Hisana laid back on her pillow, pouting "I'm not great, but I'm not worse, so I'm fine for now."

"That's...relieving"

"Why the sudden visit?" Hisana asked curiously.

Byakuya couldn't help but notice how perfect the way her lips rounded to make a pout, and eyes darkened. Her hair fell down in loose strands, by the sides of her face while she looked at him with innocence. Only she could look so beautiful even when she was sick.

"I simply wished...to see you" he said carefully. For someone so proud, cold, and confident as Byakuya, feeling nervous, was not a familiar feeling. He knew why he was there; he knew that he wanted to do it, to say it right then. To see her in that condition- lying in bed, ill for the past so many weeks and yet still brekaing into a smile so effortlessly...it hurt Bykya to see his classmate in that condition.

Of course, she had always been more than a friend to him. At first, when she was in her first-ear at college, she seemed helplessl cheerful, bubbly and optimistic. It had sickened Byakuya. But then, he'd noticed that even though she smiled a lot, her eyes were always sad.

Now that she had changed, he wanted the previous Hisana back.

"Simply? That's news to me" Hisana said, laughing "You never visit friends' houses simply"

"Why do you think so?"

"You need a motive to do something like that. To just a visit a friend becasue you want to is not motive enough for you." Hisana giggled "Sometimes I used to have doubts whether you were a human or not."

Byakuya's eye twitched. He wanted to say everything he hadn't. Love was not one of the easiest things for him.

"I did come here for a particular reason" he began quietly.

Hisana looked up at him questioningly.

"Yes?"

"It is not something that I can make you understand. I can't promise you much either, but what I'm about to say...well, what I hope I can say and promise you-"

"You like me, don't you?" Hisana asked impatiently.

Byakuya froze for a milli-second, then looked up to meet Hisana's twinkling eyes. She wore a smile, but that was it. Her expression was neutral, he searched her face for any clues, but finding not much, cleared his throat and looked up.

"I was going for love, actually."

Hisana squealed and laughed. Her face glowed, showing pure, undiluted happiness. Byakuya stared at her sudden transformation after having recovered from the shock of it. Hisana had never ceased to surprise the heck out of him.

After she had calmed down a little, he handed her her cup of tea that she'd put down earlier, and said in a careful voice "Do I take that as a positive reaction then?"

"I've been waiting for you to say that to me for months! _Months, _Byakuya, ofcourse you take that as a positive reaction!"

"...You really do amaze me."

She laughed softly.

He stared at her glowering face, then leaned forward and took the cup from her hands. He set it down once again on the tray as Hisana watched in confusion.

"Wha-" her voice broke off as his arm circled her waist and his lips captured hers. She gasped- Byakuya's lips weren't moving, he seemed too nervous to make a move so he had just placed his mouth on hers. Smiling, she held his collar and kissed him. It was a minute later that he began to kiss her back, and Hisana let herself melt in the moment.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, it sucked and it was short. I admit it right on. It's been a long time since I last wrote so I didn't bother editing much, I just typed whatever I had written in my book. I'm so sorry! I promise the next chapter is gonna be much, much better!**

**But anyway thanks for reading! Please review and tell me how I can improve.**

**~SS~ **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for such a long delay, guys! I don't think there will be many of my old readers waiting for this story to be updated anymore so sorry for those who _were_ waiting...if you now what I mean 'coz I'm babbling again.**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter, no IchiRuki-ness in this one so sorry for disappointing :( I guess this is more of a family drama than anything else :P**

**Thankyou B000097z, totaleclipse84, Aletheya, Camille loves chocolate, byakuya7687, falconrukichi, akahime89, D and WhiteSheWolf17 for your reviews! :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Ha! Do I need to say it every time?**

* * *

_**Colours and Promises**_

* * *

Rukia was standing near the door, lost in thought, as the train rocked back and forth. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the wind hitting her face and her hair were flying everywhere. She hugged herself, wondering how she should react when she saw Kuro.

It had been a while since they had met, she had been unable to return home for her Christmas holidays, being busy with her own stuff, and even though they talked to each other on the phone, somehow, it felt weird.

"What the hell do you think you're _doing_?!"

A hand reached out and grabbed Rukia's shirt, pulling her back away from the door "Get back before you fall, you idiot!"

Ichigo was glaring down at her as she staggered on the train "Do you _want_ to die?!"

Rukia shook him off, frowning.

"I can take care of myself." she snapped.

"Oh, please." Ichigo rolled his eyes "One big blow of the wind and you'll fly into the sunlight, midget."

Rukia made to say something but all of her thoughts trailed away when she caught sight of the station nearing them.

Her heart stopped, violet eyes going wide. A happiness she didn't show she could be capable of feeling flooded in the pit of her stomach as she clutched Ichigo's shirt. _How should she react-?_ Happy, excited, freaked, bubbly, normal... _how_?! Should she wave or smile or something? What if she couldn't find Kuro in the crowd of the station? Oh God- oh damn- she was going to see Kuro- she was back- she was _home_-! She felt like jumping up and down right there on the train as it turned around the bend.

"We're back, Ichigo...I'm back!" She squealed in excitement. She grabbed the front of his shirt and began shaking him out of his wits "We're _home_!"

Ichigo staggered and caught the handheld, pushing her hands off "Damn it, woman, I know!"

She laughed and hopped off to stick to the door once again, leaning out eagerly and looking out to see where her father was on the platform.

"Get back, you idiot!" Ichigo hissed, pulling her back once again, but she just grinned stupidlyand looked back at him.

"We're back!" Ichigo couldn't help but smile a little at the innocent glow that was radiating from her face. Who knew someone could be so happy just by coming back?

"Yep." He said , running a hand through his bright orange hair that shone in the sunlight. He looked out to catch sight of his father, Isshin Kurosaki, dancing there on the platform, a chauffeur hat on his head and a big board which said "FOR THE ORANGE-HAIRED IDIOT."

Ichigo sighed.

"Oh yeah, we're back."

* * *

"Over here, Rukia!"

Kuro engulfed Rukia in a hug as the crowd pushed and pulled on the station.

"Oh, it's so good to see you again. I swear you look taller!" Kuro hugged her tightly. Rukia laughed and felt warmth seep through her.

"Oi, midget!" came a call behind her.

Ichigo was making his way towards her in the crowd and set her luggage down behind her "What have you put in there, rocks?!"

Kuro frowned and looked over Rukia's shoulder at the orange-haired guy "Excuse me?" He went coldly "_What_ did you just call my daughter?!"

"Huh?" Ichigo looked up and froze as realization hit him "Oh...I didn't- I didn't mean it like...oh no, Rukia and I are great friends, we call each other names all the times! She calls me strawberry, the little devil! Isn't that right, Rukia!?" Ichigo gave a loud forced laugh, sweatdropping as he ruffled up Rukia's hair like one would a child's. She frowned and flinched away from his hand, straightening her hair down before smirking at the expression on his face.

"Meet my dad, Ichigo." She said, as Kuro narrowed his eyes at Ichigo.

Ichigo rubbed the back of his head " Yeah, it's nice to-"

"ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ichigo cursed. Rukia and Kuro leapt away as a man tackled Ichigo to the ground of the platform while the crowd stared. There was an almighty crash as Ichigo and the man took the luggage down with them.

Rukia blinked down.

Ichigo's eye was twitching, and his voive was a low growl as he looked up at her from underneath the man.

"Meet _my_ dad, Rukia."

* * *

The fight that ensued was quite entertaining in Rukia's opinion.

After what seemed like days, Ichigo and his "dad" (although clearly Ichigo had to be messing around with her when he said Isshin was truly his father) finally called up a truce and said goodbye to them and Rukia and Kuro made to return home.

Rukia looked around as they entered the house.

"You shifted." she said, surprised.

Kuro smiled "Yeah. Got a new job, got sick of the bloody apartment, saved up some of the money and rented this out..."

The house was more spacious and breezy as she stepped inside. It was unnaturally white and she didn't know why- but the blank-ness of the walls made her flinch in discomfort. It made her feel like if she stepped the wrong way or even touched it to roughly, the walls might come crumbling down. She didn't know how such a clean, pure color could make a place look so haunted, but it did. Rukia even noticed that Kuro had bought more furniture. Apart from the furniture, the house was almost completely empty.

"Where are my paintings?" was what Rukia asked as soon as she had taken everything in. She turned to face Kuro, who was busy fidgeting with the coffee maker. He looked up and blinked at her.

"Your what?"

"My paintings. Where are they?" Rukia looked around frantically, but the walls were completely white- so sickeningly white she wanted to splash paint on them blindly. She wondered why Kuro hadn't put up her frames there and panicked. What if he'd realized they were no good and thrown them? What if they'd gotten ruined during the packing and moving? What if-

"Oh, they're still packed in the store room with the other decorative stuff." Kuro sent her a distracted smile "Don't worry, they're fine."

"I want to see them."

"Uh, sure- honey- as soon as I find the key..." his voice trailed off. The jug crashed to the floor and he jumped, letting out a stream of curses. Rukia sighed, looking around.

She hadn't been able to take all of her work to Seretei, so most of the paintings- the ones that had been the best- had been left back with Kuro. She wanted to see them badly- so badly it hurt. It had been a year since she'd seen them. It was a little pathetic that she literally lived for some splash of color on a piece of canvas- but throughout those years she'd lived with Ami and Hisana- throughout those years she'd spent hating her own existence, she'd painted and it was these paintings that portrayed that pain. That reminded her of everything and made it real. That told her to get up whenever she was thrown down. So hell yeah, she wanted to see them badly!

"There are some out in your bedroom, if you want to see 'em..." Kuro called out, his head under the slab as he searched for hell knows what.

Rukia jumped and ran inside her new room and fell on her bed, grabbing the frames that lay there.

Over the year, she had stopped cutting herself. Her bruises had healed, and her cuts were old and lay in the underside of her arm, forgotten and painless. It was like starting afresh- and as she gazed at every stroke of the brush, the swirl of the yellows merging with the red in her paintings, she felt herself relax.

"Reminiscing?" Kuro's voice came from the doorway. She turned and saw him leaning against the door, holding a mug. "...Coffee?" he asked again.

She shook her head "No caffeine for me. I want to sleep tonight."

Kuro shrugged "Suit yourself. But we're going to some fun place tonight to celebrate!"

Rukia groaned and buried her face into the pillow "Do we have to?"

"Of course we have to! You survived a whole year in that place! No more painting- no more sitting in your room and sketching away your sorrows- you're a genius now!"

Rukia frowned a little, but at the excitement on her father's face, sighed and nodded.

"Fine."

* * *

Rukia wasn't particularly enjoying herself. After three weeks of studying and spending most of her time in the library, shacked up and reading, Rukia had really looked forward to returning home and just lying there on the bed, chatting with Kuro. But something had changed- Kuro wasn't himself anymore. His jokes seemed forced, his smile strained and his hugs unnaturally hollow. They just couldn't make conversation anymore- Rukia wondered why he had taken the trouble of dressing up and going out to a restaurant to eat when he clearly looked exhausted. Every minute he was rubbing his eyes and muffling his yawns.

"So, how was your time there?" he asked "Must've been hard with your Dyslexia and everything..."

"Oh no, you helped a lot" she smiled.

He looked pleased with himself and leaned back in his chair "Now tell me about this young man- Ichigo Kurosaki...?"

Rukia laughed and proceeded to tell him about how the two had met. Kuro frowned and began to look disapproving, but that only made Rukia more amused. Half-way through her chatter, however, she noticed that Kuro was no longer paying her any attention.

She surveyed him with careful eyes. He looked stressed and pale- with large bags under his eyes, which were blood-shot and sleep-deprived.

"Dad-?"

"Hm?" he asked, closing his eyes and leaning back.

"...Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine!" his eyes shot open and he leaned forward, breaking into an uneasy smile "Sorry- I just- it's just some work thing-"

Rukia didn't say anything, and after dinner, they walked out. It was dark- around nine-thirty as they made their way to call for a cab. When they did find one, however, Kuro opened the door and let Rukia climb in before leaning forward and handing her a few bills. She blinked up at him in confusion.

"What's this?"

"Money. I'll...uh...I'm just gonna stop by for a drink- work's sorta having a toll on me" Kuro said, hesitating "The money's for the cab, and if you wanna buy something- just in case. Knock yourself out. I'll be back in an hour."

She looked at him, worry across her eyes as she took the money and he shut the door close.

"I promise." he smiled, and waved as the cab whizzed away, Rukia's confused face slowly disappearing behind the glass as it turned around the corner.

Kuro stared after the yellow vehicle. His smile dropped, his hand still raised in goodbye.

The previous year hadn't been the best for him. He didn't know why, but he seemed to be lazing away the days, just surviving on air- in and out, in and out. He tucked his hands in his pockets and turned, walking over to the familiar rickety bar that stood, cramped in a corner of the street- so tiny you would miss it if you didn't look properly.

Instead of most pubs where the noise and music was deafening, this place was run-down, with only a few customers sipping their beers and minding their own business.

Frank Sinatra's voice swooned in the background as usual as Kuro sat down on his seat.

"The usual." he said wearily to the bartender, who nodded.

"Wotcher, Michita-! The painting's a beauty by the way!" called out Ganju, a massive man who sat in a corner and often met Kuro at the bar. He pointed at a fairly large painting that was hanging on the wall of the bar. It was a picture of a hazy face, the paint soft and swirling around it's sides. It looked as if it was a reflection in the water- hazy and magnifies, flawed but beautiful.

"Where d'you find it?" Ganju asked.

Kuro took a gulp of his beer and laughed bitterly.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, this chapter was terrible! ****I haven't stepped in the 'writing' shoes for weeks now, and got completely off the mindset of this story- and oh god, now that I'm reading it again- it is a complete mess! I have edited this out, but something just seems...wrong. It's gotten bland and boring...I'm sorry :( I'll improve on the next one, which has more IchiRuki-ness in it!****  
**

**The title of this chapter belongs to the song 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri, not mine.**

**By the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! ****Tell me how I can improve, and thanks every one who's still reading!**

**Please review :)**

**~SS~**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: And I'm back :D And yep, Kuro sold the painting to the bar (in the previous chapter).**

**THANK YOU- ****Iris Irine, Camille loves chocolate, Guest, SayoShihoinXKohAyamerei, Lizzy, WhiteSheWolf17, totaleclipse84, Guest, annia9semi and Nobody's Apple for your reviews!**

**To one of my anon reviewers [****Guest]- ...Wow! This fic is far from perfect- there are many mistakes, and I still need to work on my writing skills, but I've been getting better, and despite everything, I feel like...just 'Wow!' when I read your review. So thankyou, it meant so much :)**

**Oh, and did I say Happy New Years earlier? Because if not, then Happy New Years! And if yes, then...uh...Happy New Years once again :P**

**Okay, so there is a song that you need to play while reading this chapter. Don't worry, it's mentioned in the chapter when you need to start playing it. The song is 'Look After You' by 'The Fray' so keep it on your other tab, ready to hit play when it says so in the chapter. Oh, and if you get confused reading and listening at the same time, then you can read it without the song too.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bleach...YET!**

* * *

**_When that Rose-Colored Glass Breaks._**

* * *

Rukia felt like she could conquer the world. She hadn't felt so light headed in a long time. The liveliness of the day seemed to add even brighter colours to the scene that stood in front of her as she took in a deep breath, her face betraying her ecstasy.

Behind her, still busy climbing up the hill, was a furious, panting Ichigo Kurosaki.

His black T-shirt was ruffled, and his jeans dusty as he groped round for rocks and pulled himself up, shooting glares at the midget standing above him.

"Climb up, lazyass! What's taking you so long?" she called down to him impatiently, her sundress flying in the summer breeze.

The comment was enough to set his time bomb off.

"MAYBE IF YOU _HADN'T_ STEPPED ON MY HEAD TO CLIMB UP, I _WOULDN'T_ HAVE LOST MY BALANCE, ROLLED _ALL_ THE WAY DOWN THE FRIGGIN' HILL AND MADE TO START _ALL_ OVER AGAIN!" Ichigo yelled.

She huffed and folded her arms "Quit whining! I thought you were a man, so act like one!"

"And I thought you were a lady..." she heard him mutter. Rukia picked up a rock and flung it in her hands.

"Did you say something?" she said sweetly.

His wide, horrified eyes stared at the rock she was toying with, before he mumbled something and continued to climb up.

"Didn't quite catch that, Kurosaki."

"I _said_ I can't _believe_ I agreed with this stupid, crazy-ass idea!"

She shrugged "You were the one who wanted to see me paint."

"Yeah- excuse me if I didn't know climbing a freakin' hill was part of the process!"

"Oh, please- you suggested this place! Get over it already and come up. It's just a small hill- I've gone through much worse to get a scene to paint!"

"Yeah, but you don't count 'coz you're mental."

A mock-throw from the rock in her hands was enough to set him straight and climbing fast, muttering and groaning but making sure she didn't hear a word of it. The crazy woman wouldn't be trusted.

He looked up to see her back towards him and knew she'd resorted to watching the scene of the town. He didn't know what he'd been thinking when he'd told her the Hill was the place for her when she'd asked him when she could get a good view for a painting.

It had all started the day he'd called her to congratulate her for making it to the Top Ten. The results of their first year exams had arrived one month into their summer vacation, and truth be told- he had been itching to find an excuse to call her ever since he'd gotten her number from her. So naturally, the minute the letter labelled '_Seretei_' arrived and he ripped it open, the first thing he did was dial her number- which he felt ashamed to admit he knew by-heart, even though he had never actually called her before.

It was stupid to think that he needed to find a reason to call her. It was as if his pride wouldn't allow him to call her simply because the reason was that he wanted to talk to her- because _no_ _way_- that reason was just _ridiculous_! Why would he want to talk to someone like _her_, of all people?!

And then he felt sick with himself for thinking that way, and wondered if he should just swallow his pride and call her. And then he would curse himself for thinking so much about her and decide against it. And then the cycle would repeat all over again.

That is, until he got that beautiful, cursive, printed letter from Seretei, giving him just the right excuse to dial her number, so he had.

_"Hello?"_

_He took a deep breath and dodged as Isshin ran to hug him "Hey- uh...Rukia...it's Ichigo, remember?"_

_There was a pause in the line before she answered, a hint of amusement in her voice- "Orange hair, hides from girls in Janitor's closets, has a crazy father...? Oh no, I don't remember him at all."_

_He balled his fists "I hate you."_

_"Okay." ...pause..."You called to tell me that?"_

_"No! I just...uh..." he rubbed his neck, watching as Isshin started __exclaiming something in the next room. Honestly, he was surprised he could even hear Rukia's voice in all that commotion. "...About that, got your results?"_

_"Oh, yes, I did! Congratulations to you, by the way!"_

_He couldn't help grinning "Right back atcha. By how much did I beat you- one point?"_

_There was silence before she answered in a sulking voice "0.4, actually"_

_He smirked "Shame"_

Ever since she'd offered to meet up for the first time, she didn't have to organize a second meeting. He didn't know where she lived, and neither did she, but it was a clear message- unspoken between them- to meet there under the broken-down shed, where she'd asked to meet him the first time.

So, he always waited, and she always came.

Admittedly, the view wasn't half-bad from up the hill, it was actually pretty amazing, you could see the entire town from up there. BUt Ichigo hadn't come up the Hill since a long time. IT had been dangerous, forbidden territory because he couldn't risk himself to go up there and take a trip down Memory Lane.

Not now. Not ever.

But when Rukia had asked him, he'd immediately recommended this place first. Also, he'd been a little surprised she didn't know about it- it was an ideal picnic spot during weekends at Karakura. It was almost as if she was new in town, which she obviously wasn't because she said she lived there with her Dad.

By the time he reached the top, muddy and clapping his dusty hands together, Rukia had already set her paints open and on the grass, ready for use. It had been torture to climb up with all her supplies. The woman- who was currently lost in translation watching the view- had made him climb up and down twice to bring her stuff. He grumbled and dropped his bottle of water down on the grass, panting. And because she'd used him as a ladder, he'd had to climb _thrice_.

"Oi! Earth to Rukia!" he snapped a little too roughly. She jumped and her head shot towards him.

"Oh, good. Little, whiny Straweberry is finally here."

He scowled "Shut up and get to work."

"Why do you want to see me paint so badly?"

"You talk about it all the time. I wanna know what the fuss is all about." he replied, sitting down on a patch of grass and watching as she continued to look at the scene. She seemed to drink in everything- the buildings, the miniature people and dogs, the trees, the cars, the birds; and just as abruptly as she'd started, she stopped and plopped down next to him with her canvas board and began.

Ichigo didn't say anything- just watched. He'd never seen anyone paint like this before. She seemed to melt and lose herself. Her hands were working by themselves- the tinge of blue, the strokes of green before merging them and then the yellow, before she decided with a pinch to her nose that she didn't want it- and made it disappear with the green and a hint of water. The brush floated on canvas like magic, and he just watched, a little smile at the cute, determined expression.

Her face seemed to change everytime she started something new- new scene, new color- new anything. She frowned, pouted a little, licked her lips, giggled and bowed her head so close he couldn't see the picture at all.

It was a little strange, and Ichigo shook his head, trying to keep his head straight, trying not to think, trying not to...

_"Ichigo, lend Karin a hand!" called the sweet voice of his mum. Ichigo puffed his chest at his mother's command and ran over to his little sister, who was climbing the hill, grunting and gasping, her milk teeth gritted in determination and short black hair continuously coming in front of her eyes._

_"Ew! No, I can do it by myself!"Karin slapped Ichigo's hand away angrily._

_"But I'm-"_

_"No!"_

_Ichigo frowned and folded his arms "You're gunna fall down, you know."_

_"No, I'm not. Yuzu climbed up all by herself too."_

_"No, Mum helped her up. She just didn't tell you that."_

_Karin scowled before sticking her tongue out at her elder brother "Yeah, but I'm strong, I can do it on my-"_

_"ISSHIN KUROSAKI ROCKET ATTAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"_

_Ichigo leapt out of the way as Karin shrieked. Their dad had come rushing up from behind her, pushing her up by her bum and on top of the hill. _

_Karin was yelling as Ichigo ran back, laughing at her "Serves you right!"_

_"Isshin- you scared her!" their mum scolded him as she nursed a crying Yuzu in her arms. Isshin immediately hung his head and Karin smirked. _

_Grinning, Ichigo fell on his mother's lap next to Yuzu, and let her hug him. He was so proud of their mum- she was so strong and amazing- she could even climb up the whole hill without any help! When he grew up, he'd be just like her- strong and amazing and protective..._

"-watching."_  
_

Ichigo shook his head a little as Rukia's voice pulled him out of the memory. He looked sideways at her.

"W-what?"

She glanced at him in curiosity "I said for someone who climbed up a hill to watch me paint, you're not really watching."

"Oh."

Rukia didn't look offended. Instead, she turned her head back to her canvas, her head tilted.

"This is a really nice place." she said.

Ichigo grunted in response, putting his arm on his knee and the other behind him to prop himself up.

"You know what I love most about it?"

"What?" he looked at her.

"It's so quiet." her eyes softened down as she painted "I mean, you can see the entire town from here. If you were down there, in the middle of it, it would be chaos- cars running around, people ordering, children crying...But from up here, you see it in a completely different perspective. You see the bigger picture of things."

"That what?" Ichigo snorted sarcastically "That the world is complete chaos?"

"No" she said simply "That even in that chaos, you can find something beautiful."

He didn't say anything, maybe because he didn't want to tell her how wrong she was. She was spouting nonsense- the world was full of chaos- _life_ was full of chaos, and that was the end of it. All you did was work and distract yourself in the hope that one day it would stop hurting, but it never did. And then you got sucked into everyday duties and routines and it was buried deep inside, and you got the privilege to forget it all. But the minute the chaos stopped the minute you sat in your room in the deafening silence, it all came crashing back to you.

And it hurt like hell.

"Do you come here often?" she asked him.

"I used to. But not anymore."

"Why not?"

He shrugged "Got busy with studies, I guess."

She laughed "That's not an excuse!" the light breeze seemed to blow through her raven hair and fill her face with a sort of glow Ichigo hadn't seen in all the times he'd been with her "Infact, that's even more of a reason to come up here! It just-" she looked over at him with glittering eyes "...doesn't it clear your head? Calm you down-? I...I look at the small people walking down there and I feel like God- watching them from the skies!"

She'd changed- so quickly in such little time. He was glad, he was truly glad she looked so happy, but...

"Yeah, well, this place kinda has the opposite effect on me." he replied with gritted teeth.

She searched his eyes and quietened down. For a moment, he thought she was going to ask why, but he was thankful when she didn't.

* * *

Frank Sinatra's voice swooned overhead as the two sat down. Ichigo slid into a seat with his drink as Rukia looked at him skeptically.

Ever since their talk on the hill, he hadn't said much. She'd seen the frustration on his face, but it was the flickering hurt in his eyes that stopped her from saying anything.

Ichigo had asked if she wanted to grab a drink and she'd nodded, telling him of the pub nearby she'd seen Kuro go in often (yes, she had followed him on a number of occasions, big deal!) and Ichigo had agreed.

It wasn't helping much though, Rukia could see that he still sat stiffly, his face set in a deep scowl and hand clutching his drink so tightly his knuckles were white.

The whole place was musty and old and smelt of rotten wood as Rukia looked around for something to do, something to cheer him up with. She noticed as the music changed and looked up at the soft piano notes that began to ring through the place. Ichigo sighed in relief- the Frank Sinatra thing had really been getting to his head. **[Play now]** He leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to push all of his irritation in the back of his mind.

Just then, small fingers curled around his hand.

His eyes shot open and he stared at Rukia, who was standing up and looking at him with a raised brow.

"What're you doing?" he asked suspiciously.

"Get up."

"What?"

"Get up." she smiled "We're dancing"

He shook her off "No!"

Why couldn't she just go back to being quiet and depressing? He cringed as she stamped her foot down in anger.

"No, _get up_!"

"Go away, Rukia"

"You'll feel better, I promise-"

"NO!"

Her lips thinned "Get on your ass, Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ichigo cursed- what was her problem? He let out a loud groan as she pulled him on his feet and put an arm around to secure him. She laughed as they swayed.

"I don't like this." he scowled.

"Come on, just give it a try."

Ichigo raised his head up at the ceiling "What can I say that'll allow me to go back to my seat? People are staring!"

"Nothing" she replied honestly before looking up into his eyes softly "Just...let go."

He gazed down into her warm eyes and his stomach swooped. He didn't know what to say- and walking back to his booth, which looked so far, seemed so pointless all of a sudden. His legs felt like jelly, and he sighed, arm wrapping around her waist so that he could pull her close to his chest. He hated that smug smile she was giving him- but something about the warmth of having her in his arms made him feel ridiculously safe, as if he was in his mother's arms once again. The sun set outside the window, but no one cared.

Ichigo twirled her around and then pulled her close, his arm wrapping around her once again so that they were swaying on the spot, her back pressed into his front. He lowered his head and buried his face in her hair, inhaling her breezy shampoo and feeling dazed. It was a very intimate gesture, and he was glad she couldn't see the pink hue that adorned his cheeks. He felt his insides relax in relief and closed his eyes. He felt warm hugging her like that, like a cocoon.

"What's up with you?" he asked softly, holding her tight.

She turned in his arms to face him once again "What do you mean?"

"You come here, miles away from your home to do a painting. You don't talk to anyone- half the time you're dreaming away. One minute you're upset, the next you're jumping around and being annoying. _So_...what's up with you?"

She laughed "Nothing is up with me. And it's perfectly normal to come miles from my home to do a -" she suddenly stopped and Ichigo felt her freeze.

"Rukia...?" Ichigo's voice suddenly seemed distant- Rukia couldn't see- she couldn't breathe... Her wide eyes stared at the painting on the wall in front of her...

Everything seemed to be in slow motion- the colors faded from the world, and suddenly Ichigo's arms didn't feel safe- no, they felt tight- they were suffocating her..

Trembling, Rukia struggled and shook herself away from his embrace, staggering forward.

"R-Rukia...?" Ichigo looked stunned- had he done something wrong? "Are you...?"

She needed to breathe- she needed air desperately- she needed to get out from there. One more minute was tightening her nerves. She was trembling, she couldn't stay-

That was _her_ painting- what was _her_ painting doing there?! She'd even signed it! _Why was it there?! _Wild, terrible thoughts were running through her head- she needed to see Kuro- she'd seen him come here, to this very pub..._Oh, God, she couldn't breathe_.. _What had she done-?_ What had _Kuro_ done?! _Why_ had he done this...? She couldn't even think straight, she clutched her mouth as tears began to sting her eyes- how had this even happened? How could Kuro...? They had been locked- he had _said_ they had been locked away- then why..?

"Rukia...?!" Ichigo was panicking, but she was already panicked, she couldn't stay here- she couldn't- it made her sick to even be in the same room as her-

"I'm s-s-sorry..." she choked to Ichigo "I- I have to... I d-don't-"

She was rambling- she didn't care, she just had to run- get away from there.

Ichigo couldn't move as the rest of the customers stared at the two in mild curiosity.

"Rukia!" he tried to reach out for her before she could escape, but his hands caught thin air. He jumped forward, but she was too far now. "Rukia, _wait_-!"

But he could only watch in shock and confusion as she stumbled across the wooden floor and disappeared out into the darkness of the night.

* * *

**A/N: ...And so, she found out about Kuro selling the painting. ;D **

**Tell me if it was okay reading this scene along with the song, guys- I thought it was okay at first, but I've listened and re-listened to it so many times now and wrote and re-wrote and re-re-re-wrote this scene to match it, I swear everything seems muddled-up when I try reading it :P**

**So, as usual, THANK YOU everybody for reading, and let me know all that I can improve. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling mistakes that might be there in this chapter :) Whew, this was my longest chapter yet..**

**Please review.**

**~SS~**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Yeah- I'm back *_hides behind desk to avoid the tomatoes thrown at her_***

**Thanks to all my faithful reviewers- Star fire girl788, Camille loves chocolate, totaleclipse84, SayoShihoinXKoiAyamerei, Nobody's Apple, D, Iris Irine, saya97, my anon reviewer [Guest] and WhiteSheWolf17- you guys are just amazing- truly- for sticking with this story til now! I love you all!**

**And a special thanks to Nobody's Apple for pointing out my mistake, I've corrected it now :)**

**Soooooo it's a pretty late update... *_ducks again_* I have some serious exams coming up. Where I live, most schools are upto tenth grade- which is when you have your first batch of exams- which are equivalent to your twelfth grade exams because these determine which school you can get into for eleventh and twelfth (if you're taking that option). So I'm pretty packed. In fact, I typed this entire chapter on my iPod, hiding from Mom's clutches, which is just sad.**

**On with it! Don't expect an early update. In fact- don't expect an update at all til March end :( *_ducks yet again_* HA HA MISSED M- *_gets smacked right in the face*_**

**Damn.**

**Disclaimer- Don't own Bleach.**

* * *

_When it's all said and done_

_I'll be just a speck in the galaxy_

_Floating far far away by gravity_

_You tell me it's not possible_

_No way that we could break_

_Like falling stars, like crashing cars_

_Like falling stars over your head._

* * *

_**Chapter- 9**_

_**Red**_

"You _sold_ my paintings?" Rukia exclaimed, slamming the door against the wall as she burst in.

The clock ticked silently on the wall as Kuro froze from where he'd been sitting on the armchair, a glass of brandy in his hand.

He slowly turned to look at his daughter's flushed face, his eyes wide.

"W-What?"

"My _paintings_, Dad. The ones that are _supposedly_ locked up in the attic?" She snarled, her hands balling into fists as she slammed the front door behind her.

Kuro couldn't move as he stared at her. Panic, horror, anger, shock...he didn't know which emotion to allow to envelope him as he stared numbly at Rukia, who was shaking with rage, barely controlling herself as her violet eyes burned into him.

_How did she get to know...?_

"Rukia, I-"

"Did you even _care_ to ask me?!"

"Sweetie, you don't-"

"Don't you _dare_ call me sweetie" Rukia threatened, wrenching her hand away from his grip as he tried to reach out for her "Don't you _dare_ you..._y-you_...!"

Kuro sighed, running a hand through his hair "Rukia, I needed the money-"

"-You could've _asked_ me!" She exclaimed, making him cringe. He eyes were unusually bright- tears threatening to fall as she shouted mindlessly- but this was not the time. This was not the time nor the place to have a mental breakdown "I would've done it all- if you'd just_asked_ me..."

He looked at her irritably "Asked you how?! You were gone to Seretei, busy wih your studies-"

"So you decided you had the right to sell my paintings?!" she shouted derisively, once again pushing him off as he tried to hold her.

Kuro was growing frustrated. What was the big deal anyway? They'd just been some drawings! Of course Rukia was attached to them- but she was the one who had made them- she was bound to be attached to them!

"Look, I know what I did was wrong, Rukia! I'll make it up to you and pay you back, okay?!" he said "I just need some-"

"_Pay me back?!_" Rukia shrieked. Her voice was so high now that Kuro could barely hear her. He winced, her shrill voice piercing through his already fatigued brain. He could feel the blood rushing up his face as he tried to control himself. He had never seen her so furious "You think I _care_ about the _money_?!"

"For God's sake then- what the fuck do you want me to do?!" Kuro shouted, his temper rising "They're just paintings, Rukia! You can make new ones!"

She stared at him like he'd gone mad.

"_No_, I _cannot_ make new ones!" she yelled back "They were six years worth of work for me, did you know that? It's not about the bloody paintings, it's about what they_represent_ that matters so much to me! How many others have you sold behind my back?!"

Kuro stood up, glaring at her. His insides were buzzing- all of his senses seemed to be magnified as he glared at Rukia with all the hatred he could muster. His skin tingled and he suddenly had a strong urge to hit something and cause immense pain.

"I am your father, Rukia." he said with gritted teeth "You are still a minor, so whatever money you make is rightfully-"

_If she shouts one more time, I'll..._

"It's not the _MONEY_, you-"

"SHUT UP!" He finally shouted, her voice causing pain to shoot through his head, and increasing his headache "You think I've been enjoying my life with it?! With _YOU_? You think I've spent the fucking money in luxuries and had the time of my life?!" As Kuro's volume slowly increased, he took a step closer to Rukia, and she began to back away. Rukia- for the first time- felt scared of her father.

"-It's not been a bloody picnic, paying for both of us, Rukia! Your tuition fees! Your hostel charges! Your this! your that-! Its just like Ami to drop you on my fucking head so that she wouldn't have to take the burden for your bloody college money!"

Rukia retreated, shock etched upon her face as she stared at her father. She could catch the slight whiff of alcohol in his breath as he closed the gap between them, and she froze, her breath catching in her throat.

_He was drunk..._

"All my fucking life- when I _needed_ you- when I fucking_begged_ her to just let me meet you and Hisana, she_refused_! And NOW? Now that I don't need any of you- she just up and leaves so that I'm left to care for you?! What kind of wife does that?!" Kuro spat, gripping his glass as he swayed a little drunkenly "She thinks she can call on me any fucking day she wants to and I'll _help_her?!"

Rukia was only too familiar with drunk parents and the things such fights led to. But to think that right now, she could look into Kuro's blazing eyes and clearly see his burning hatred for her seemed to make her want to die a little bit more.

"Well, I bloody _won't_!" He smashed the glass against the opposite wall, and it shattered a few feet away from where Rukia was standing, shaking- her rage replaced by fear for her life.

Kuro strode over to her in two steps and gripped her shoulders, pinning her against the wall, his face dangerously close to hers. All her muscles screamed in agony as they hit against the solid bricks behind her. The amount of alcohol that was wafting from him made her want to gag, and there it was again- that feeling of helplessness as she stood there, pressed between her father and the wall...

_You're useless..._

She was suffocating, she was panicking- she had to get out. How could she do this to herself?! How could she be so fucking weak that she couldn't even defend herself?

"You listen to me, and you listen to me well" Kuro spat in her face- his eyes were bloodshot and he looked deranged. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do with your paintings, and you better keep that little temper tantrum to yourself, you got that? Your '_Happy Kuro'_? He's fucking _gone_. Do you want me to be that happy guy again? Hm?" She trembled as he traced a finger along the lining of her jaw "_Tell me_! You want the happy me back?"

She wanted to vomit- something had gone terrible wrong with him. He seemed to have spiralled out of control- the way he had during his last few days before his divorce with Ami- the time when Rukia had been so young, and yet still somehow remembered every little detail of.

Her body shook as she nodded. Kuro smirked and gripped her arm tightly, twisting it a little- enough to make her cry out in pain. She felt that feeling shoot through her again-

_Useless...useless, useless, useless! Defend yourself! Protect yourself! All you can do is cry? Useless!_

"Then know your place, Rukia. Be in your fucking limits and _never_ use that voice with me again." He dropped down to whisper in her ear, making her freeze "Then I'll be the happy Kuro. You just want to make your daddy happy, don't you, sweetie?"

She didn't reply, shaking as he let go of her. His smirk widened and he backed away. Involuntarily, and hoping it wasn't audible- Rukia let out a breath of relief when he put some distance between them.

"Good. Now, go and change into something more comfortable" he smiled "I'll make dinner."

* * *

That night- she made a decision.

_No more._

She couldn't do this anymore. She didn't want to do this. She felt disgusted and pathetic and used.

_You can't seem to do anything right. No wonder everyone's angry with you!_

It was just a few minutes later as she got inside her room, locking the door behind her, that she reached her decision. Her eyes filled with tears and her legs shook, failing and sending her crashing to the floor.

She wanted to scream- and so scream she did. If Kuro heard her- he showed no sign of stopping her. Over and over she dug her nails inside the flesh of her thighs, curling up on the floor and screaming as her heart shattered.

_What have you become? You idiot, stop screaming! Go out there and stop doing nothing! Why are you pitying yourself- there's nothing to feel pity about-! These things happen to everyone- you're not special- think of all the others who go through the same! You're not the only one! You're not special!_

She wanted something- _someone_ to hold onto. She shook, as she brought her palms to bury her face in her hands.

She was exhausted of doing this- of feeling pain, then happiness, only to have it all start all over again. And that's when she decided.

_Enough_.

She was done. Just done.

_They don't care either way. Who're you kidding?_

She gripped the razor blade on her bedside table, hands shivering as she sat down gingerly on the bed. Her head hurt- her whole body hurt- so it wouldn't really matter if she made some more cuts to add to everything that was already hurting, would it?

At least she'd die a painful death- something she was sure everyone she knew wished upon her. At least when her last breath left her body, she'd die along with the pain that had been with her throughout her whole life. _At least that won't leave her..._

_You're pathetic- self-pitying like this._

She heard the doorbell ring and the distinct voice of her neighbour- a dodgy thirty-year old lady by the name of Mrs. Kawasaki- say "Is everything okay, Mr. Michita? I heard some noises..."

Kuro's laugh was sickening as Rukia heard him say nonchalantly- "Everything's perfect!"- as if it was the most easiest lie to tell.

Maybe it was.

_No- everything's not perfect!_- Rukia wanted to scream.

She brought the razor to her arm and slashed, tears streaming down her face as the skin ripped, causing blood to trickle down the length of her arm as she traced the sharp edge against her skin...

_There. That's your punishment- That's for being the worst daughter anyone could ever have..._

Why didn't she think of this before?

_After all, no one's going to care if you die or not._

It was true. What was the point? She slashed again, continuing to make perfect, long slashes across her pale skin- with an artist's precision- for each flaw she had...

_That's for not being good enough..._

Tears blurred her vision.

_...For being ugly..._

She didn't want to feel anything. No pain, no hope, no disappointment- nothing.

_...For being stupid..._

She hoped Mrs. Kawasaki wouldn't come inside to check, just in case. She could be a very irritating, suspicious old woman. Rukia didn't want to be saved. It was a good thing- now that she thought about it- that she'd locked her room door from inside.

_Who are you kidding? No one's going to save you. You can't even save yourself! Useless, useless, useless..._

Then why-? Why did she feel like she wanted someone to come- someone to save her...?

_...For being useless..._

_Why would they want to even remember you? You have no one to love- and those who were there, you pushed them away. You can't even apologise to Hisana- why do you think anyone will ever apologise to you?!_

Cuts after cuts after cuts...the marble floor- which had been painstakingly white before- was cold and stained with her blood now as she slowly buried herself into the ground, curling up in the corner of her bedroom. The words '_Perfect_' she'd so meticulously carved on her skin once-upon a time were raw and fresh, beginning to bleed again.

She felt woozy. Inside her head, she was still screaming- yet the only noise she could hear was Mrs. Kawasaki still talking with Kuro, insisting he let her in.

_...For being so damn proud..._

No matter how much pain she inflicted upon herself, she couldn't stop. Why? _Why?! _What had she done that had ousted her from her family?!

_...For not saying you're sorry..._

If they'd just tell her everything that was wrong with her, she'd change! She'd change in a heartbeat if it meant they would accept her.

People talked about knight-in-shining-armours- someone coming into the girl's life and saving her from drowning in her own depression, for loving her for who she was. Well, where was the person now that she needed him the most? Where was that love story everyone wrote about?

The image of Ichigo's scowling face flashed through her mind as her vision began to blur, fading, and her heart panged as she realized she wouldn't get to say goodbye to him.

She smiled a little- he was something else, that lucky bastard.

For a minute, when she'd looked at him, been with him, looked into his eyes- she'd felt like she actually meant something to someone. But then that feeling of safety of being in his arms had fallen the minute she'd seen her painting hanging on that wall...

She felt her mind spin, and her mouth go dry.

The razor fell from her hands and on the floor with a clang.

_I wonder what it would feel like to have someone to love, Ichigo._

She knew she had only a few minutes left before the pain overcame her.

_..But you made me happy anyway._

She had accepted it, finally. She was going to die- and then everything would be quiet. Peaceful, at last. No one to call her names, no one she could annoy, no one to hate her. Everything would disappear and she'll have what she'd wanted, at last...an end.

_I'm sorry for being such a horrible daughter, Mom, and for being so horrible to you, Hisana. I don't know what I did, but I wish I knew how to be better. I would be if I knew._

_I'm so sorry._

She let out a small sigh. Just then there someone banged on her bedroom door and she heard Mrs. Kawasaki calling...trying to unlock the door as she shook...

"Rukia, are you in there?"- Mrs. Kawasaki called, but to Rukia, her voice sounded like it was coming from the far end of a long corridor-

"Rukia, answer me!"

This wasn't how Rukia wanted to die.

She'd wanted to die in the arms of a loved one. Despite everything, she'd always thought she'd find someone to love in the end.

But now...for one last time, she knew she wouldn't.

"Rukia? Rukia- open the door!"

But if she was going to die- then why not die with a smile on her face?

Her phone lit up and began to ring. Out of the corner of her slowly fading vision, she saw Ichigo's Caller ID flashing across her phone's screen. Maybe he'd sensed it- sensed _her_- sensed that something was wrong. Maybe this was the universe's way of telling her that she was getting the chance of dying in the presence of a loved one- because Ichigo was as close to a loved one she would ever get.

She wished she could pick up his call and say goodbye for one last time, but as her vision began to black out, she knew it was too late.

She smiled-

_Thankyou..._

Her eyes rolled back. She swayed and fell, her head hitting the marble floor. Her arms stretched out, inches away from her still ringing phone.

..._Ichigo_.

* * *

**A/N: ...Too much angst?**

**Yeah, I'm terrible, aren't I? *ducks again***

**The lyrics mentioned at the top are not mine- they belong to the song- 'Falling Stars' by David Archuleta, and I admit- I was listening to it while writing the second scene, and I admit I was crying the whole time. It's a beautiful song, and fits the whole mindset of the second scene, in my opinion, so please listen to it. The lyrics might not suit too much, but the music in itself just made me cry..**

***_Sigh_* I'm sorry this is such a terribly late update, and I'm sorry that I can't promise an early update either :( But it would be wonderful to have some review cheering me up for my upcoming exams! I like to think I've improved, but as I said- please review :)**

**And I once again say- I do _not_- and I absolutely DO_NOT_- encourage self-harm. It's a serious issue- and it might make the person feel better for some time, but in the long run it can pose serious dangers to your personality. So if you feel like you're slipping into depression or have an urge to hurt yourself- please go and talk to someone about it. If you want, you can hit me with a PM too, and I'll help :)**

**So- thankyou for reading and being patient with me. You all are too good. :)**

**~SS~**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: And...I'm back again! :D**

**And WHOA! o.O I was stunned to see the amount of reviews the last chapter got! I should write more cliffhangers...**

**A big thanks to my loyal reviewers- Guest, totaleclipse84, Camille loves chocolate, ilovebks, Neko-Chan2604, Star fire girl 788, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Guest, WhiteSheWolf17, Iris Irine, SayoShihoinXKohAyamerei, andyantopia, Guest, Lizzy, annia9semi, D, NarutoLuver896, IchiRuki-Ventus-11 for their reviews. And of course, all of my readers as well and everyone who waited for me to update!**

**To-**

**Darkmyr-InuYashaFan: I'm glad I'm back, I missed y'all too! ^_^**

**Star fire girl 788: Thank you! My exams went quite well :)**

**Thanks to Iris Irine for pointing out the typos in the previous chapter. Although I'm too lazy to go correct them right now, I will do so as soon as I'm done typing this :P:)**

**Disclaimer- Don't own Bleach.**

* * *

_Lost and insecure- y__ou found me, you found me,_

_Lying on the floor- s__urrounded, surrounded,_

_Why d'you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late-_

_You found me, you found me._

* * *

_**Have a little Faith**_

* * *

Ichigo couldn't shake that tugging in his chest that something was terribly wrong. He tapped his feet impatiently as he sat there on the park bench, his phone held to his ear as he waited for Rukia to pick up.

Ever since she had departed from the bar without any explanation, Ichigo had been worried. He was about to rush out of the pub when the bartender had stopped him, demanding he pay for the drinks. By the time Ichigo had thrown a few bills at his face and ran out to follow Rukia- she'd disappeared.

Ichigo hadn't gone home though. Oh no- he'd run up the street, hoping to catch sight of her somewhere- he had no idea where she lived, she'd never told him and he cursed himself for not asking her.

After another half-an-hour of running and futile searching, he had given up and huffed down to sit on a park bench, out of breath. He'd tried her phone earlier, but she hadn't picked up.

And now here he was, panting, frustrated and fighting a desperate urge to punch something.

"Damn it!" He cursed loudly as he disconnected the call yet again. Several passers by stared at him as he clutched his phone tightly in his fist, shaking. He felt like throwing his phone against the grey sidewalk and watching as it shattered into pieces. That tugging in his chest wouldn't go away, and with each second, he seemed to grow even more agitated.

He leaned forward onto the bench, elbows on his knees, running a palm over his face.

_Why isn't she picking up?_

He'd seen the look on her face when they'd danced. Despite that uneasy fluttering in his stomach, he'd remained there wih her in his arms- revelling in the fact that he'd made her look comfortable- made her warm. For that moment, as they'd danced to the music in the background, Ichigo had looked down into Rukia's eyes and gotten lost. For the first time, he'd just...given up. Given up on hiding, on trying to look badass and guarded- given up on everything. He'd felt nothing and yet, everything.

And then- all of a sudden, she'd jumped out of his arms and escaped.

_What the hell happened to her so suddenly?_

He frowned. Where was he supposed to go now? Home?

He racked his brains- trying to remember something that Rukia might've said about her house- a landmark, or directions, or any name- anything that might help him locate it.

Nothing.

He scowled. Just then his phone rang.

His heart skipped a beat. He jumped, fumbling for it desperately, and looked down at the Caller ID, wishing against his wildest dreams that it was Rukia calling him back.

_Home_.

Damn.

"Yeah, what?" He said, disgruntled, picking up.

"_Brother_?" Ichigo's eyes softened as he recognised the voice- it was Yuzu, one of his little twin sisters. "_Where are you?_"

"Out- just had some stuff to do. Why? Are you guys okay?"

"_Oh, yes, we're fine. It's just that...well, Dad hasn't returned from the hospital yet- and he usually comes back by this time_."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "He'll be fine, Yuzu. No one's crazy enough to mug him or anything."

"_Brother, don't say that!_"

He chuckled drily, although he felt far from humorous at the moment "You know it's true."

"_Oh- but seriously, what if he's lost_?"

"The loon's been living here before we were even born, Yuzu. He couldn't get lost if he wanted to."

"_But he should've been home an hour ago_!"

Ichigo raised a brow, frowning "An hour?"

"_Yes! Karin's saying maybe it's just another patient but still_-"

"Yeah it can be." He shrugged "I mean, it's happened tons of times before."

"_But brother..."_

"Listen, Yuzu-" Ichigo's voice softened, the way it always did whenever he was talking to either of his sisters- especially Yuzu. She was so fragile and innocent- it almost made him want to hide her from the terrible world "-he'll be fine. Trust me, nothing can harm that jackass. He'll be back any minute."

"_But what if- what if he isn't..?"_

Ichigo sighed "He will be."

"_I'm w-worried.._"

He let out another sigh.

Damn Isshin- Ichigo was going to kill his father once he got his hands on him. The idiot was probably just wandering the streets scaring poor defenceless old ladies, for all he knew. As if Ichigo didn't have enough to worry about, what with Rukia's sudden departure, now Isshin was being added to that plate. Great- just fantastic!

But then- maybe Isshin knew something about Rukia's house? Back at the train station after their fight, when Rukia and Ichigo had been talking (*_cough_* bickering *_cough_ *) Isshin had been chatting with Kuro. Maybe Kuro had slipped in their address, or another contact number or something?

"..Say what, Yuzu, I'll go drop by the hospital" Ichigo said into his phone "I'll see if Dad's there and tell him to give you a call-or I'll give you a call myself. Okay?"

There was a sniff from the other end ".._Okay_..."

He smiled "Good. Now stop worrying and go watch T.V or something. Lock the door and you and Karin take care of yourself and-"

"-_don't allow any strangers inside, no matter what they say or who they are_." Yuzu giggled as Ichigo grinned "_Got it, brother. Thankyou_!"

"Yeah, yeah. No problem. I'll see you later."

"_Okay. Love you!"_

He smiled "Love you too."

Clicking his phone shut, Ichigo got up and stretched. It was completely dark, crickets chirping away in the night as the cool breeze blew through his hair. He looked up to see a full- moon night, and for some strange reason, smiled at the night sky, before looking down, brain whirring.

Although Ichigo wasn't very much worried about Isshin- the idiot could land a mean upper cut if messed with- he was genuinely getting a little anxious. Dad never came home late- and when he did, he made sure to call and let the children know so that they wouldn't be worried.

_What the hell is up with him now?_

* * *

"That took longer than expected!"Isshin said loudly, cracking his knuckles as he walked out of the operation room, his usually goofy grin placed on his face. He was followed by another surgeon, who looked highly irritated, and a trembling, mousy-faced intern "Didn't think the guy would bleed so seriously though."

"He _wouldn't _have-" the other surgeon said menacingly as he glared at the nerdy intern, who shivered under his gaze, lifting a trembling hand to set his glasses straight "-if it wasn't for the_brilliant_ Michiro here! You were told to hold the clamp, you fool, not shake and potentially kill the patient!"

"I'm s-s-sorry, s-sir I -"

"You're not going to see the inside of an OR for a whole month, let me tell you that!"

"I d-don't- I'm s-so-"

"Ah, leave the poor chap alone, Ryota" Isshin clapped a hand on Michiro's back, whose whole body shook under the impact "His concentration was somewhere else, and who can blame him when there's a gorgeous nurse standing next to him in scrubs?!" He looked at the intern with a wise look on his face "You hit that, Michi. And I will help you hit that in ten days- strictly following The Ten Levels of Seduction by Isshin Kurosaki, a step-by-step guide in how to score with a young woman in just ten days!"

"Ah here we go." Ryota muttered "You're mental. I don't even know how you became a doctor, Isshin, but you desperately need a shrink."

Isshin pouted "You're such a spoil sport!"

Ryota didn't say anything, but left them, muttering under his breath.

Isshin watched him go, and then his grip on Michiro's shoulders tightened, making the intern yelp.

"Son, I was able to save that patient and your ass today." Isshin said quietly, his voice dead serious "But maybe next time I won't be able to, and I would lose my patient and you'd be on probation. So if you know what's good for you, _don't_ do that mistake again."

Michiro nodded, trembling, and Isshin's face brightened up once again.

"Now! Where were we- ah, levels of seduction! I continue to try to tell my son, you see, but I've given up, it's obvious he has no interest in girls. I'm just waiting for him to come out of the closet, the girl's one is obviously completely waste for him, and then I'll start working on a guide for him. Say what- I'll give you a ride home and we'll talk over it. Jut let me call my children and tell them I'm not dead!" Isshin winked, taking his phone out of his pocket and flipping it open.

_You have a Total of 11 Missed Call(s) from- Home, CarrotHead_

Isshin grinned, shaking his head. They all must've been really worried.

Just as Isshin was about to hit the 'Call' button, the doors of the Emergency Ward burst open.

"Dr. K-Kurosaki!"

Isshin jumped and turned to see a very frightened-looking nurse running up to him.

"What? What's the matter?"

"We need a doctor ASAP! There's a girl-she's not breathing- oh God, there's so much blood- she attempted suicide and- and her family's here and we can't find a pulse- she doesn't- we don't know and no one's on duty in Trauma a-and you were the first doctor I could- the nurses-"

Isshin pushed the rambling nurse out of the way as gently as possible- clearly she was new if this was how she was handling things- and made his way to the Trauma room, shoving his phone into his coat pocket.

His heart beat frantically- _there is a suicide patient in the hospital...?_

"Should I call Psych...?" The nurse asked.

"No. Not now." He ordered, his voice loud and commanding. It would only make the patient panic even more.

He burst through the door to see a loudly sobbing woman, a pale-looking man, and there- amidst a heap of frantic nurses lay a petite, raven-haired girl on the bed, the white sheets stained in her blood, her lips cracked- her eyes closed.

Isshin's eyes widened as he immediately recognised her, and then the pale man he had talked to at the station- Rukia Kuchiki and Kuro Michita.

_What the...?!_

His eyes fell on Rukia's arm, which was so raw and scarred from cuts and wounds that it could barely be called an arm- rather a bloodied, intangible mass of flesh.

"She must've hit an artery- or- or a couple of them, we can't seem to see where- and the lady is in hysterics- and she's had a heavy concussion- her pupils-"

"For starters, calm down." Isshin snapped, rushing forward to check Rukia himself, making quick work as the nurses around him quickly hurried out of his way. He gave prompt instructions to them, in a no-nonsense voice and his eyes narrowed at Kuro, who was watching from the sidelines, looking deathly pale- as if he'd just seen a ghost. He was watching the whole scene unfold in front of him as if he'd temporarily gone autistic.

Maybe it was shock. Maybe it was fear...of being caught.

Isshin had been suspicious of Kuro the minute he'd talked to him at the station- the minute he'd realised that he and Rukia didn't share the same surname. It was obvious that there was some sort of history between them.

"Hand me the paddles." He called out sharply when no amount of CPR seemed to be working on her.

"Oh m-my God!" The woman choked, bursting in sobs. She must be Rukia's mother- Isshin surmised.

"Kuro, ma'am, we need you to get out of here-"

Kuro's eyes snapped up "H-huh?" His eyes flooded with recognition "...Kurosaki? Isshin Kurosaki?"

Isshin gritted his teeth, feeling sick "I said- you and your wife need to get out of here, Kuro. Charge to 100!" He instructed the nurse.

"What-"

"I said get out!" Isshin said angrily. Kuro was _sick_...what had he done to Rukia? Isshin knew enough from Ichigo to know that Rukia was a quiet girl who was secretive, admittedly very friendly, and loved to paint, and that she loved Kuro unconditionally- he'd seen her on arriving back from university on the train station- she had been an excited mess when she'd run into Kuro's arms.

Then what had made her do this?

Kuro gripped the woman's arm and the nurse shushed them out as Ishhin ordered "Clear!"

He pressed the paddles to Rukia's chest, the electric shock jolting through her limp body. She jerked up, and then fell back against the pillows. Isshin glimpsed at the heart monitor- not realising that his hands were smeared in Rukia's blood.

Nothing- the monitor showed a straight line.

_Shit_.

* * *

"Yeah- I was looking for him."

The receptionist smiled at Ichigo, having known him from when he had been a little kid.

Ichigo looked around- it had been awhile since he'd last visited the hospital. Years, in fact. Before, he'd used to visit the hospital to amuse himself- it used to be his playground. It was practically like a second home, and he used to visit all the time with his mother- going on rounds, doing mock surgeries, laughing and holding the tray for the doctors when they did stitches, getting a lollipop as his reward.

The nurse's voice jerked Ichigo out of his thoughts. "He's in Trauma- a case came in at the last minute. You can wait outside."

"Right."

That tugging feeling was still there in his heart as he began to walk towards Trauma One. He felt queasy- he couldn't sit- he just had to do something, damn it- walk, pace, kick, punch-

What had _happened_ to Rukia?!

He bowed his head down thoughtfully- maybe Isshin would help. He had to. _That fool has to come to some good use._

Ichigo grimaced, looking at his phone for the millionth time. Nothing- no message or missed call- although there was no chance for Rukia to call and for him to miss it, considering he had been checking his phone every other minute.

He took a left, knowing his way to the Trauma Room easily. From a distance, he could hear audible sobbing coming towards him. He sighed- he was used to the grief and depressed atmosphere of a hospital by now.

He flipped his phone open. Might as well call Yuzu. Dialling the number, he raised it to his ear as he took another left. Yuzu answered on the third ring.

"_Hello, Kurosaki Residance!"_

"Hey Yuzu- it's me. Dad's fine- there was some complications in a surgey and a last-minute Trauma that got him late, from what the nurse told me."

"_Oh thank God! I was so worried_!"

"Don't. I'll tell him and he'll be here in another half an hour. I've just got a couple of stuff to do later but it won't be too..."

Ichigo's voice trailed away as he reached the Trauma Room, and stared at the sight that met his eyes. Kuro and some other lady were standing outside the same room. The woman was crying her eyes out, as Kuro held her, looking blank.

Ichigo scowled, eyes narrowing. _What the hell is Rukia's dad doing in here? Wait-_ Ichigo froze, his blood running cold.

_Where's Rukia?_

Yuzu's voice echoed through the phone, but Ichigo barely heard.

"_Brother...? Brother, are you there.._?"

"Yeah, I'm..."

_Where the fuck is Rukia? Why isn't she with them? Why are they crying? What is-?_

The window of the Trauma room was open- someone seemed to have forgotten to pull the curtains down- so everything happening inside the room was visible from Ichigo's angle.

"_Brother, are you okay?"_

And that's when the phone fell from his hands.

Ichigo stared through the window, heart thudding, at the lifeless body of Rukia Kuchiki there, as Isshin madly attempted to bring her back to life. Another doctor seemed to have joined him and they were arguing- the other doctor trying to force the paddles out of Isshin's grip.

The steady line of Rukia's heart monitor could be seen from a mile away, in Ichigo's opinion. He couldn't breathe- he felt his chest constrict as he stared, frozen.

_No_...

He watched, and felt a familiar pang of pain flood through him. She looked so...small. And her arms- all that blood..

He _knew_ it. He'd caught a glimpse of the scars on her arm when he'd first met her at the campus. He felt sick- looking at all that mess and blood.

_Why would she do that to herself_?

He watched as Isshin lifted the paddles and yelled an order, pressing it to her chest.

_Live, Rukia._

He watched as her limp body jolted forward and then she fell back, her hair brushed back- eyes closed. He wondered how cold her hands would be if he touched them right now.

_Live, damn it!_

He watched as Isshin slumped back, wiping his brow. The other doctor came and gently took the paddles from his hands, and this time Isshin didn't protest. He looked like he'd given up, and that's when Ichigo felt rage explode inside him.

_That bloody midget- who the heck does she think she is to die like this?!_

"NO!" He yelled, startling the other visitors. Kuro and the woman jumped, Isshin and the other doctor turned to look at him through the window as Ichigo began to storm forward "NO- SHE DOES_NOT_ GET TO DIE!"

Isshin looked shocked as Ichigo burst inside.

"Ichigo, don't-"

"SHE IS _NOT_ DYING AND YOU ARE _NOT_ GIVING UP ON HER! I KNOW YOU AREN'T!"

"I know, but you're not supposed to be in-"

"YOU _SWORE_! YOU FUCKING SWORE AFTER MOM THAT YOU WOULDN'T!" Ichigo felt a horrible stinging in the corner of his eyes as he shouted derisively. He was so mad right now...so,_so_ mad at her...

"Yes, I know I did, buti-"

"_NO_-MAKE. HER. LIVE!"

"Ichigo-"

"NO! JUST _NO_, DAD! _NO_!"

"I don't-"

And then a small _beep_ made both of them freeze.

Ichigo, stunned, turned around to see a spike go up on Rukia's heart monitor. And then another...then another...then another...

XXX

Kuro Michita was standing in the hallway, frozen.

Rukia had just tried to _kill_ herself...

He looked down to see that his hands were trembling. Christ, what the hell had he _done_ that had made her lash out so badly?! Why did she have to make such a big deal about everything? He could go to jail if she opened her mouth and told anyone what he had done under the influence of alcohol- admittedly a very slight amount, he'd just had around two glasses. He could be arrested for treating her like that- he'd come close to hitting her!

The only thing that seemed to calm him down a bit was the fact that Ami had treated Rukia the same way- and the girl had kept her mouth shut. So Rukia would keep quiet this time around too... Right?

Kuro gritted his teeth, running a hand through his hair. Why had Mrs. Kawasaki come? She'd interrupted everything! Why had Rukia lived in all this mess? She shouldn't have survived, damn it! She should've been just left like that- and everything would be fine! But _now_- now, there would be questions raised. There would be people asking Rukia all sorts of things- there would be Social Services involved. Kuro would be asked hundreds of questions about Rukia's mental health, and all along, he'd be a suspect too, and his past history didn't help.

He leaned against the doorway, breathing heavily as he heard the commotion inside. Mrs. Kawasaki had shakily left the hospital to go get some of Rukia's spare clothes the minute they both had seen the heart monitor bleep into life through the window.

Kuro- however- couldn't stand to enter that place anymore. It made him puke- the pool of blood staining the white marble, the paintings in her room that hung eerily, haunting him with their stares, as if accusing him.

_Run_...

He held his head, going mad. He had a splitting headache- he could feel himself losing control- he wanted to smash his fist into the glass window of that room and yell at Rukia! Just for one or two heavenly minutes-let out all the frustration and the tension and yell at her.

How had things gone so wrong? Why couldn't she leave him the hell alone?! None of them had wanted to meet him all those years ago when he'd been declared a drunkard and diagnosed to be mental, then why now?! Did Rukia know that- he wondered- did she know the true reason why he'd been deemed unfit to be a parent to either of his children when he'd fought for custody? That he'd been a pathetic drunk, who slowly gave away to depression, wiling away office hours as he sunk into pleasure and sought any way to distract himself? That he was bordering on psychopathic tendencies? That he'd stopped taking his medication at the start of this year?

_That's right_- he thought bitterly- _You're not the only one who's fucked up, Rukia. I am too- but you don't see me slashing my wrists_.

He looked into the window and saw Ichigo, who was now on his knees, clutching his head as he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. Isshin was checking Rukia, frowning thoughtfully.

And then slowly, as if on slow motion, he moved to stare sideways and his eyes locked with Kuro's.

They say that you can always tell the guilty one by the way he looks into your eyes, and at that moment, Kuro felt his heart race. He knew- he just knew, that Isshin was going to do everything he could to bring him down. Isshin knew- Kuro didn't know how, but Isshin knew that Kuro had done something.

_Run_.

He didn't really have any other option, did he?

And so, stumbling backwards, Kuro spun around and began to walk away, as fast as possible. He heard exclamations, nurses asking him to sign this or that, but he shoved them away as he jogged.

He was getting the fuck out of there, as soon as possible, and he was not going to look back. He was collecting his stuff and never coming back. He felt anger boil through him- all this because of_Rukia_. Why couldn't she have just _died _and be done with it?

From behind him, Isshin's eyes followed him, and he contemplated whether or not he should Ichigo anything. He decided against it- it really was none of his business.

And so, Isshin watched Kuro go, feeling disgusted with the man who was running away from his own daughter.

* * *

**A/N: And this is the 10th chapter :):) I think the longest chapter by far, and maybe a tad bit boring- sorry about that :(**

**The quote mentioned in the starting belongs to the song 'You Found Me' by The Fray, not me.**

**I'm sorry I didn't really add Rukia waking up in this chapter. I thought about it, but decided against it. I wanted this chapter to describe the turning of events while she was unconscious. You know, how it effected everyone in their own way- and what actually happened while she was 'gone'...**

**Pardon any mistakes I've forgotten to correct while editing this. Feel free to point them out for me :)**

**I've kind of realised that I don't have much IchiRuki in majority of the chapters of this story, so sorry for that. There will be more IchiRukiness in the next chapter, so keep reading!**

**I hope you liked it :) Leave a review!**

**~SS~**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update. I really hate myself sometimes.. :(**

**And THANKYOU for all of your amazing reviews! I've reached 100+...which feels so incredibly nice, and at the same time makes me feel even guiltier for not updating earlier...**

**Thank you- WhiteSheWolf17, TCP4ever, Neko-chan2604, Guest, andyantopia, annia9semi, Camille loves Chocolate, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Sta****r fire girl 788, EmpressMinea, totalecipse84, Iris Irine, Lots of Angst, ilovebks, Nobody's Apple, Hunnybee07 of the shadow, Guest** and D.

**If I've missed anyone, I'm so terribly sorry. I love you all a great deal, and I'm emotionally overwhelmed and weird right now, so...yeah... -.-**

**To andyantopia- Your review stood out :) I had to go to Google Translate to know what you wrote. Yes, Ichigo cares a lot for her, if only they both could see it...**

**Thank you for the corrections, Iris Irine. Yeah, 'buti' is wrong, I meant to say 'but I-" :P**

**DISCLAIMER- Don't own Bleach. Still working on an ingenious plan.**

* * *

_After the fall_

_We can recover_

_What's left in the dark_

_Can still be discovered_

* * *

**_Welcome Back To Existence_**

* * *

Rukia groaned as a blinding light hit her eyes, starting a fresh wave of headache in her already compressing brain. She felt heavy. Oh God, _so _heavy..

She looked around, squinting, her hands running over the soft linen bedsheets she lay on. Her head was lying on a hard pillow, and she could smell bitter medication in the air. She was in a hospital no doubt, but..._why?_

_Why had she been saved?_

She clutched the bedsheets and sighed as she heard a shuffle from somewhere near her.

"Wha- wait- Rukia?! Oh thank- _fuck_..."

She faintly recognized this voice...

"My God- you complete, fucking_ IDIOT_!"

She cringed and let out another groan, snuggling into the blanket as she closed her eyes tightly. She wanted to sleep...

"_No_! No, you do _NOT_ get to close your fucking eyes! You _open_ them! I'm ordering you- _open_ them and _listen_ to my fucking lecture, Rukia!"

Why the hell was this voice so familiar...? She'd heard it before, in the back of her mind, taunting her, irritating her, warming her... It was almost as if she knew this person for a thousand years, and yet he never failed to annoy the hell out of her..._who was_-? Her eyes shot open, shocked, as her vision finally focused on the fuming orange-haired teen standing there in front of her.

"I-Ichigo...?"

Was she dreaming?

"Yes- Ichigo! Surprised to see me? Thought you were gonna die? Well, sorry for the disappointment!"

"...What-?" she tried to sit up, but she was aching all over, and Ichigo strode over, clutching her shoulder and pushing her back onto the bed. She looked up at him in curiosity, but he just glared.

"Don't you dare get up" he growled. The corners of his eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked like he might punch and trash everything in his way. She knew he was furious, but strangely, the thought of that made her feel...so,_so_ good.

"What are you doing here?"

"No-!" he yelled angrily "The question here would be- what the fuck are _you_ doing here?!_ Slashing_ your arms up- trying to die- what the hell is _wrong_ with you?!"

She winced again. He had every right to be upset, but the sound of his voice was giving her a pounding headache...

"Look, I get that you're angry, but-"

"Angry? OF COURSE I'M ANGRY- YOU TRIED TO FUCKING _KILL_ YOURSELF!"

"Ichigo, _shut_ _up_!" she snapped, clutching her head as she glared at the heavily breathing teenager. He looked deranged "Lower your volume down if you don't want to get thrown out of here!"

"I will do what I want- since you seem to be doing the same!" he glared, but his volume was low nonetheless.

"Oh, please, stop pretending as if you know everything!" she shot back, looking around.

_Where was Kuro?_

"I was calling you _because_ I wanted to know everything, Rukia! I have no fucking clue what's going on! You come in here, _bleeding_ to death, your dad says _nothing_, just stares like he's a maniac and then _runs_ away and my own Dad is acting like a frickin' secret agent!" Ichigo's eyes glowered "So will _you_ tell me what's going on now?!"

"He- he what?" Rukia blinked, her eyes wide in disbelief "He _ran away_?"

Ichigo's brow furrowed "Who- your dad?" When she said nothing, Ichigo shrugged in irritations "Yeah, he's not back yet. Look, will you stop with all the secrets? Just tell me and I won't say anything, you know me better that that! For God's sake, we were hanging out only hours ago, what the hell could have happened in the past couple of hours to make you do _this_?!"

The shouting, the excitement, the shock, the adrenaline- it was getting to her.

Kuro had run away and Ichigo may think he was going to come back, but Rukia knew he wasn't. Kuro was gone for good. She was alone- all over again. She felt woozy and exhausted, so much so that this piece of news did nothing to her. She could feel nothing, and she looked up to look into Ichigo's fire-lit eyes.

He looked defiant, and for some reason, Rukia couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop _laughing_!" she halted abruptly as she saw the anger in his eyes, and her amusement washed away when she saw the way he was looking at her. He looked panicked- out of control, he was shaking, as if the news of Rukia dying had him losing his mind, as if he had no idea what to do..

"Stop being so hysterical, Ichigo, I promise I-"

"I have every right to be hysterical!" Ichigo shouted, his amber eyes ablaze "i was- how can- who _did_ this to you? _What_ made you do this? You just tell me the name and I'll go fucking _kill_ him, Rukia! Just tell me- give me the word and I'll do anything- but don't fucking _kill_ yourself!" his voice was wavering and his gaze still burned into her "Do you _know_ how worried I was? Do you know how it felt to come to the hospital, without a damn clue- and watch m-my-" he took a loud breath and shook his head, as if trying to shake the feeling off "-watch _you_ lying there, _dead_? Do you _know_ what it was like to fucking watch that heart monitor go straight and see you have no heart beat?!"

"Ichigo-"

"Who the hell do you think you are to have any right to kill yourself?! You're selfish- you're doing _nothing_ but escaping-_ how could you j-just._..!"

And Rukia watched with growing horror as Ichigo punched the wall in anger and turned his back to her. At that moment, she realised it was about so much more than just her. He wasn't talking about Rukia, he was also talking about someone else- someone Rukia didn't know about.

"Ichigo..."

"Don't die." he said, his voice hoarse as he turned to face her once again, his head bowed down. His orange bangs covered his eyes, casting a shadow on his face so that she couldn't see any expression on his face.

Rukia's eyes softened "Ichigo, you-"

"No- it's not a request, Rukia. I'm not _asking_ you." he looked up into her eyes defiantly and she saw the scorching amber; they were shining more than usual as he glared at her "I'm done with requesting- I'm done with it. I'm_ordering_ you. Don't you fucking die, you hear that?"

Rukia's heart was beating wildly. Someone needed her. For a change- in a miraculous, ironic turn of events- someone else was telling her to stay alive- and it wasn't because she had nowhere to run to or because even her attempt to die had failed- but because someone needed her to live.

And even though Ichigo said those words with obvious fury, there was a certain desperation behind those words that they were both aware of, and Rukia found herself smiling.

She tilted her head to watch him through glittering violet eyes. "Well, I guess I can't really do anything if it's an order can I?"

She watched as relief washed over Ichigo's face as he brought a trembling hand to run a palm over his stressed face. She watched as his breath left his body in a break from exhaustion and he strode over to her bed where she sat. She looked at him with widening eyes as he neared her, determination etched upon his eyes.

She felt it when his strong arms wrapped around her and he brought her to his chest, giving her the tightest, most bone-crunching hug in the history of tightest, most bone-crunching hugs. She felt it when he buried his face in her neck and clutched her desperately. She felt it when he shifted onto the bed gently, not letting go of her once and let her head rest on his shoulder, telling her softly to go to sleep.

And he felt it too.

* * *

"...You want me to spend the rest of the holidays with you?" Rukia aked, blinking.

Isshin let out a goofy grin, thumping his chest proudly "Yes! You'll have your house all to yourself now, of course, but it's so _lonely_ there!"

"...You mean peaceful" Ichigo snorted from a chair nearby, leaning back as he watched the two.

"Pfft!"Isshin waved his son off indifferently "Rukia doesn't want peace- she wants fun! She wants adventure! She wants action! She wants-"

"-a new doctor?"

"-the classic Isshin Kurosaki Therapeutic Recovery Remedies!"

Ichigo sent his dad a thoroughly frustrated look "The _what_?!"

"The Classic Isshin Kuro-"

"I hear, you crazy idiot! And it makes no fucking sense! We're sticking to the original plan, Rukia." Ichigo turned to Rukia "We both will go to your place once you're discharged. I'll make sure you have everything, and I'll visit everyday, okay?"

"Nooooooooooo...! My own son-_ my own_- how could you _DO_ this, you- you _STRANGER_?!" Isshin cried, pointing dramatically at Ichigo "RUKIA, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM- HE JUST WANTS TO GET LAID!"

"Wha-?! THE HELL I DO!"

"Yes, yes, he does! And he doesn't want his old man there! He wants to do it all alone- with no instructions, no steps, no-"

"SHUT UP!"

Rukia giggled as she watched Ichigo kick his father.

"I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THAT KINDA STUFF!"

"OH MY GOD, MY EARS, _MY EARS_! MY SON IS _GAAAAY_..."

_**CRASH!**_

"I- SAID- SHUT- _UP_!"

Rukia smirked, lying back as she enjoyed the show.

Ah, the hospital and it's many quirks.

* * *

The day arrived when Rukia was to be discharged. She had suffered from a mild concussion from her fall, and her cuts had to be stitched up, so now there were actually a bunch of stitches on her arm spilling out- 'PERFECT', which was pretty funny in her opinion, although Ichigo hadn't really thought so.

"Why does it say 'Perfect'?" he'd asked her.

Rukia had shrugged. Frankly, she didn't know. To her, the word had always been synonymous to being the best- the sole epitome of being known far and wide for who you were, for how good you were.

"It's stupid." Ichigo had answered flatly when she'd told him that "You're an idiot to think that you aren't perfect- or to want to be like that. And you're damn well not going to be so if you keep on cutting yourself like that."

Rukia had gotten offended at that and Ichigo frowned, telling her he'd just been kidding, to which she'd snapped something rude back. What followed was the biggest, loudest, most disastrous fight the hospital had ever seen.

Now that Rukia actually thought about it- it had really been very funny. She had to be sedated in the end- and Ichigo was banned from visiting her, as they said he 'provoked' her.

He hadn't really let the ban stop him though, because that night he'd climbed up her hospital window- her room being on the first floor- to meet her.

_"What is- are you insane?!" she hissed, her eyes widening as she recognized the orange hair of the guy who climbed in through her window and fell to the floor with a loud thud, cursing under his breath._

_"Ichigo! What the hell are you doing here?!"_

_He rose up, frowning, rubbing his head._

_"What does it look like, midget?" The nurses wouldn't let me in through the door."_

_She threw a book at him "Don't call me midget!"_

_He caught it with ease, rolling his eyes. The calm chirping of the crickets could be heard from the hospital garden outside- it was a full moon night as Ichigo walked over to her bed and sat down on the chair nearby._

_Rukia watched him, trying to keep her expression as angry as possible, but she couldn't help it- how could she be mad at him for going to such an extent to meet her?_

_"I'm sorry." he muttered._

_She looked at him, startled "For what?"_

_"For saying that- about your cuts- that was kinda insensitive."_

_She arched a brow "You think?"_

_He glared at her "Just take the apology while I still mean it, Rukia."_

_She shook her head, chuckling "It's fine. You were kidding, though your sense of humor is obviously horrible."_

_He glared at her in the moonlight "My sense of humor's completely fine, thank you very much!"_

_She laughed again "Are you kidding me? You don't know how to make jokes, Ichigo. You're like an old grumbling man who complains all the time. An old grumbling man with orange hair." She giggled as his cheeks flushed pink._

_"Well then you're a midget- a stupid, quiet midget who likes to paint and colour all the time!"_

_She eyed him, amused "Were you trying to be funny? Because that wasn't, but watching you try was hilarious."_

_He flushed even more, and dropped his head in his hands "I can't believe I climbed a window to come to all this.."_

_She grinned, shifting in her bed "Admit it. You can't live without me."_

_"Ha ha."_

_"You missed me so much, even one storey and an army of evil nurses couldn't stop you from coming to see me."_

_"More like the fact that I wanted to defy gravity and prove the nurses wrong, and show them I could find a way to see you." he jutted out his jaw stubbornly._

_"Well, then, you've found it." Rukia's eyes glinted as she tilted her head to the side, shrugging non-chalantly__ "Why don't you leave then?"_

_There was a moment of silence when she smirked and Ichigo looked up to glare at her._

_"I hate you."_

_"Hm. I still believe you missed me."_

_He snorted "Believe whatever the hell you want."_

_She smiled at him, shaking her head as she felt genuine warmth flood her "…You're a very bad liar, you know that?"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about."_

_She sighed, settling down comfortably in her bed and looking at him from her place. Despite his usual trademark scowl, lit up by the moonlight, he was sitting rigidly, and had such a hard posture that he might've been a statue._

_"Something is troubling you." she said idly._

_She saw him stiffen, and knew in an instant she was right, but he didn't meet her eyes. Instead he looked away, eyes pointed at the full moon outside, lighting up his pale face. "Like I said- I don't know what you're talking about." he said gruffly._

_"And like I said, you're a bad liar."_

_She saw him grit his teeth and clench his fists, but he said nothing._

_"You don't have to tell me, you know. You can say that you don't want to tell me- but don't lie." She said quietly._

_"Fine" he said flatly "I don't want to tell you."_

_Her eyes softened, even though his voice was harsh._

_"I'm sorry, you know" she said quietly, watching his for relax a little as her words reached his ears "I'm sorry for what I did. But I said I won't do it again- and I mean it."_

_He looked up at her, and his eyes were doubtful._

_"But why did you do it, Rukia?" his voice was soft- no pressure, no anger, nothing except for a __saddening curiosity._

_She bit her lip. She wondered if she was ready to tell Ichigo about all of the complicated history that came alone with her. Moreover, what if he realized finally what a huge burden she was and left her? At this point, he was literally the only one she had._

_"I…"_

_Ichigo caught the look on her face and shifted "..Uh, you know that, never mind."_

_She looked at him in confusion as he ran a hand through his hair "But-"_

_He shrugged "You can tell me some other time."_

_She nodded as he eyed her once more "But you promise you won't do it again, right?"_

_"I promise." She smiled, breathing easily once again._

_He relaxed, leaning back on his chair "That's good, midget."_

_She frowned and grabbed her pillow, hitting him smack on the face so that it sent him spiraling back, coughing and spluttering._

_"Don't call me midget!"_

Rukia had been in the hospital for three days before she had been discharged that morning. They had run some last tests to makes sure the blade hadn't infected her blood, that the stitches were in place, that her vision was perfect, and that she was completely fine.

She breathed in and stood there in the lobby with Ichigo and couldn't help but feel strangely fresh. She felt reborn, and unbelievably good- and figured the feeling must be appropriate- they were in a hospital after all.

"Now you be good and no razors in the house!" Isshin said authoritatively, shaking her hands as Ichigo frowned from behind her "And when in doubt- call me! I will answer each and every one of your questions! And before you even ask me- I will tell you the answer to your most _obvious_ question-" Isshin leaned in to be closer to Rukia so it looked like he was telling her a secret "_Yes_-" he whispered loudly so that everyone around him heard anyway "-Little Ichigo is _quite_ big."

Rukia blinked at his grinning face in confusion, but her cheeks went flaming red when she understood, falling back in embarrassent. _What the hell?! _Ichigo's face was tomato red as he flung a nearby garbage disposal can at his father's running figure.

"WHAT THE HELL IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU, YOU MANIAC!"

* * *

"Wow..." Ichigo looked around at the walls of the strangely hollow apartment. The furniture was all there- the carpet, the wood for the fire, the cabinets... but something about the house felt so unbelievably dead that it made Rukia's heart clench as she looked around with him, taking in the place that now was devoid of Kuro' belongings "...You _made_ these?" Ichigo pointed to the few paintings that Rukia had put up on the walls- the ones that Kuro hadn't 'locked-up'.

She smiled, and nodded "Yes, they're all-"

_Wait a second._

Her eyes widened and she dropped the box she'd been carrying- the clothes and some stuff from the hospital.

"No.." she whispered, running over to the storeroom. _Only these paintings were on the wall, so the others must be.._

The storeroom was empty.

"Rukia?" Ichigo frowned as he followed her "Rukia, where are-"

"They're _gone_...! He- he _took_ them! He-" she shook, her scars stinging horribly as she felt an unbelievable amount of fury coil up at the pit of her stomach "Ichigo- he _took_ my- he _knew_ how m-much I- "

"Okay-" Ichigo neared her cautiously, kneeling down beside her as he took her in "Okay. Just- okay, listen- calm down for a second 'cause I can't understand what the hell you're-"

"I hate him! I _hate_ him! He _took_ them- he's trying to- _what the hell does everyone want_?!" she screamed finally, grabbing a lamp and throwing it against the wall "Why can't he leave me alone?! _Why_ did he leave those three? He should've taken them too- put me out of my misery- _mocked_ me for one last time! I _hate_ him!"

Ichigo caught her as she thrashed around. She didn't want to cry- no, she wanted to punch Kuro, which was a strangely comforting thought- she wanted to hit him, or to shout at him til her throat went dry, ask him what it was that he wanted, what it was that would make him happy. Was it money? Money from selling her paintings-? If so, then fine- she'd paint and paint and throw canvas after canvas at his face and tell him to never show his face again. That she owed him _nothing_. Nothing_ at all_.

"Calm down, damn it!" Ichigo yelled through gritted teeth as he struggled to hold her still.

This was it. This was going to be her last outburst- the last time she ever thought about Kuro Michita. _Not anymore._

Huffing, Rukia slumped and pushed herself off of him, panting. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a shaky hand and sank down on the floor, just...thinking.

They sat in silence, their breathing heavy, Ichigo studying Rukia's stiff expression. She was thinking- and by the looks of it, she was thinking hard.

She finally opened her mouth "Ichigo?"

"Hm?"

"D'you think I..." she looked up to meet his eyes "Could I spend the rest of the vacation with you guys, like your Dad suggested?"

Ichigo blinked, scratching his head "Are you sure? My Dad's an ass- he won't let you go once you enter his lair."

She laughed "I think I can handle that."

Ichigo grinned, his heart lifting "Okay, then. Grab whatever you want and prepare yourself for the worst."

She shook her head and chuckled, pulling herself off her feet. Ichigo's grin faltered as he eyed her suddenly smiling face. He hastily looked away when he felt his lips twitch. He was _not_ going to smile. He was a tough guy- enough with the sappiness- he was _not_ going to let this mad woman effect him so much, enough was enough..

"Come on, let's go! Your father will only get madder if we make him wait."

He was _not_ going to smile...

"Ichigo, get up!" she said irritably as she shifted towards the door and looked down at him in impatience.

He turned his face away from her.

Okay, so if he was going to smile, at least he was not going to let her see it.

* * *

**A/N: I have no idea what I'm doing with this fic... *facepalm***

**I hope this chapter answered some of your questions. If there's something that left you confused, don't hesitate to ask :) And let me know if I made any mistakes this time around.**

**I'm so sorry, it's like I have writer's block after every time I update... I hope you liked this chapter, and I'm really sorry for making all of you wait :(**

**Thanks a lot for reading, it means a lot!**

**~SS~**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Have I told you I love you guys? I do! :)**

**Thank you-**

**EmpressMinea, annia9semi, ilovebks, Iris Irine, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, Nobody's Apple, WhiteSheWolf17, AmeYami, Neko-chan2604, Camille loves chocolate, Hunnybee07 of the shadow, totaleclipse84, DaughterofEchoes, Black-Wolf-2631 and EtBr****- sorry if I misspelled or forgot any- for your reading, and reviewing! :)**

**DaughterofEchoes- Thank you for your suggestions! I'll make sure to write Ami's perspective when they do meet (although it'd be in third person's POV). Your review got me smiling like an idiot!**

**AmeYami- Thanks for the confidence!**

**Black-Wolf-2631- You're a mind reader o_O Can't reveal what happens yet, but something tells me you can guess it pretty well ;) Thank you for your review!**

**I may not have been able to reply to all your reviews…it makes me feel like a troublesome stalker sometimes -.- But do know that I appreciate all of them!**

**DISCLAIMER- ...Still don't own it. Sad. I'll get over it. For now. Because really, I'm working on a plan. Just need some more time. Ssssshhh!**

* * *

_The dawn is fire bright _

_Against the city lights _

_The clouds are glowing now _

_The moon is blacking out, is blacking out_

* * *

**_And This is Your Home_**

* * *

"WEEEEELCOOOOOME!"

Ichigo sighed as Rukia blinked at the scene in front of her. Isshin Kurosaki was jumping, wearing a party hat, as two girls of appropriately the same age- Rukia guessed they were the twin sisters Ichigo had been talking about- blew party horns. They weren't identical though- the black-haired one looked highly bored, while the brunette was smiling at Rukia encouragingly.

"You still have time to back down." Ichigo told Rukia, who grinned.

"I'm Yuzu!" the brunette said, beckoning a hand forward as Rukia stepped in "And this is my twin- Karin." she gestured towards the black-haired girl "We're all so happy you decided to join us! We heard about the...accident, and Dad thought this was just what you needed!" Yuzu smiled sheepishly as Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, just what she nee- _NO_! AAAAAAARGGGH, WHAT THE _HELL_, GET _OFF_ ME!"

Isshin cheered as he sprung up to wrap himself around his son, clinging onto him for dear life as Ichigo flailed around, trying desperately to wrench his father off.

"MY SON IS NOT GAY! I'VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS MOMENT! ICHIGOOOO, DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOUUUU!"

Ichigo was swinging himself around, trying to cause Isshin to fall off him. Isshin slid off his son's back as Ichigo held his face at arm's length, red in the face as he fumbled, yelling profanities.

Karin rolled her eyes at Rukia "Don't worry about them. C'mon- we've got cake."

Rukia followed them inside the living room, looking around the place.

It wasn't a very large house- bigger than hers, perhaps- but fairly average. A TV set was sitting in the corner, and the shelf was filled of overflowing medical books. There were piles of books or belongings lightly littered around, balloons floating off the carpet, with confetti on the floor. Rukia realized with a jolt how good- how _homely_- the place felt. Maybe it was the photo frames on the table, or the worn-out coats hanging in the back of the chairs, or the steam rising from the pot on the stove which sat in the adjoined kitchen, but something about the place seemed to make Rukia feel instantly better.

"There you go!" Yuzu said happily presenting a cake that sat on the dining table in the middle. It was a circular chocolate cake- homemade, Rukia wagered- covered in rich chocolate buttercream. On top, in bright red frost icing, were the words- "_**WELOME R KIA!**_"

Rukia blinked as Isshin fell against the wall with a loud _crash_, Ichigo coming into the living room behind him, scowling. He had a bright violet party-hat perched on top of his head, clashing violently with his orange hair.

"Sorry about the '_**U**_' " Yuzu said to Rukia, going red as she pointed to the icing on the cake "Dad got hungry."

"It was yummy" Isshin nodded from the corner of the living room, where he lay upside-down, patting his stomach.

"Just cut the cake, midget" Ichigo said, rolling his eyes.

Rukia frowned at him and pulled at his hat, rolling it down before letting go, so that the elastic retracted and the hat slapped him right on the face. Ichigo yelled out loud shaking her away as she glared.

"Don't call me midget!"

"I have a feeling Rukia's going to be really good for our dear brother." Karin smirked as Ichigo clutched his nose, howling in anger.

* * *

_"Welcome to the family,_

_Welcome to the family,_

_Welcome to the famiiiiiiily,_

_AHOY to you!_

_Where Isshin's the awesome daddy,_

_Yuzu does the laundry-_

_Karin's the twin baddy,_

_And Ichigo's the stinky poo!"_

Rukia couldn't stop laughing for the life of her as she caught the stitch in her stomach, her other hand gripping the plate of cake. Ever since she had entered the Kurosaki household, there had been this annoyingly, unreal smile stuck on her face which refused to go down. Was it possible to smile so much that your face ended up hurting? Rukia had never felt that way in her life.

Yuzu laughed along with Isshin as he stopped singing. Karin was smirking at the expression on Ichigo's face as he sat there and sulked.

"Come on, cheer up. It's just for fun." Rukia shoved him playfully, to which he gave her a glare.

"Try having that sung about you to every guest and patient that comes to this place!"

"Patient?"

"Oh, you haven't seen the clinic!" Isshin cried excitedly, grabbing hold of Rukia's wrist and pulling her to her feet. Rukia just about managed to prevent the plate from falling out of her hold "And after that, my darling son will give you the House Tour!"

"Hey!"

Yuzu smiled as she got up too "It's our very own little Emergency Room, Brother used to get hurt all the time." she told Rukia "Dad sometimes jokes that the only reason he opened a clinic was because Karin and Brother always managed to get new injuries whenever they came home."

"What about you?" Rukia asked as she fell in step with Yuzu, Isshin prancing about in the front and being chased by Ichigo.

Yuzu gave a faint smile "I was…well, they always say I'm more like a feminine version of my mother. I was usually the one playing Dad's nurse when he tended to their injuries. Ah, here were are!"

Rukia blinked as she entered the clinic, her eyes looking out for Ichigo, her mind wandering towards what Yuzu had said about their mother. The topic of Ichigo's mother was yet to be talked about between Rukia and Ichigo.

"WE BRING TO YOU….THE KUROSAKI KLINIC!" Isshin announced as they came in "..AND THE '_K_' IN '_KLINIC_' IS ON PURPOSE!"

Karin grinned at Rukia "He tells that to everybody."

"Like hell it is." Ichigo told Isshin, looking extremely pissed off "You know shit about the spelling of 'clinic."

"How _dare_ you!" Isshin said angrily as he leapt over to a large poster of a beautiful woman covering a large wall of the room, opposite the bed and desk "My dear Masaki, _look_ at what has happened to our son! Thinks his father is _illiterate_!"

"I wish" Ichigo muttered as Rukia's eyes widened a little at the poster.

The woman was smiling, her clear blue eyes twinkling and thick wavy auburn hair curling up at her waist as she waved at the camera. The poster in itself was pretty normal, but the picture of the woman was vibrant, lighting up the whole clinic effortlessly. There was a slight resemblance between her and Yuzu, Rukia noticed.

"That's our mother" Yuzu said softly in Rukia's ear "Masaki Kurosaki. She passed away when Karin and I were seven."

Rukia's eyes were stuck to the beautiful image, and then darted to where Ichigo was standing. And- maybe it was just the trick of the light- but she saw something flash in his eyes before he turned to yell at his father.

* * *

The door was pushed open to reveal an average-sized room. The walls were plain, a single bed in the side, study- table in the corner, adjacent to the closet. One rectangular- quite large- window stood open on the wall and beheld a direct view of the street down in front of the house.

In Rukia's opinion, the scene out the window was probably the only beautiful thing in the entire room.

"…So…yeah..." Ichigo said awkwardly from beside her, scratching his head "…This is my room. Yuzu and Karin are already sharing one, so- you…have to share with me." He gritted his teeth, trying not to blush.

"It's so…" Rukia fought with her words as she stared. The room was bland. So bland and boring and blank and ugly and… "…clean."

Ichigo looked at her weirdly "…Thanks?"

"No, I mean, it's so…_clean_!" she exclaimed, entering "No posters, no mess, no books- just…._so_ _clean_."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"It's- it doesn't look like a teenager's room at all! It looks _boring_! I mean, you must like _something_, right?! Music? Books? Sports teams?"

Ichigo frowned as he took in her flushed face. She had a dangerous gleam in her eyes that he was becoming _slightly_ afraid of… "Well, I play a little basketball. And I read…uh..." his cheeks went a bit pink "…I read a bit of Shakespeare" he mumbled.

But instead of making fun of it, she just waved her arms around "Well, then, stick posters of your favourite team, throw in some books, write quotes from Shakespeare, have a mini-basket inside the room- do _something_ to it, Ichigo! Make it come alive!"

Ichigo just studied her with narrowed eyes "What meds did my Dad give you?"

"Oh shut up! I don't-" Rukia's eyes fell on something and her smile trailed away as a scowl took it's place.

"What?" Ichigo asked, alarmed by her abrupt halt.

She turned to face him.

"You have one bed."

* * *

"I JUST WANTED YOU TO CUDDLE WITH HER!"

Karin grunted as Yuzu tried to peek inside the living room, where Ichigo and Isshin had resorted to yet another yelling match.

"Sorry, but you'll kinda have to get used to this if you want to spend the rest of the summer here." Karin told Rukia, leading her to the storeroom, where she'd said there was an extra mattress.

"Why is Mr. Kurosaki so adamant to fix him up with a girl anyway?" Rukia asked, a grin pulling at her lips. She figured she should be angry, but her confusion had quickly turned to amusement when Isshin had come into the picture. She couldn't possibly stay mad at the man.

"He says Brother's not like normal teenagers"

Rukia laughed "Yeah, I can see that."

Karin eyed Rukia a little suspiciously.

"You know-" she began "-This is the first time Brother's brought a girl home. Apart from Tatsuki- but she's practically a boy anyway." Karin gave her a curious look "There must be something different about you."

She shook her head, moving forward to help as Karin heaved the mattress up into her arms "No, I'm just-"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM _NOT_ GAY, GOD DAMN IT!"

Isshin came flying into the corridor as Ichigo stormed out, fuming. His eyes fell on Rukia and his sister, who held the mattress as they stared.

"Gimme that." He growled, lifting the mattress from their hands in one go and stomping up the stairs.

Rukia watched him go "Do _you_ think he's gay?"

Karin shrugged "Who knows? He works in mysterious ways."

* * *

Rukia padded up the stairs in the semi-darkness, wearing a ridiculously large smile.

"Good night, Rukia!" cried Isshin from downstairs in a harsh whisper.

She looked down from the corridor above to see him give her a thumbs up. "Go get him!" he added. She laughed, breathing in. For some reason, the air seemed to be so much more fresh- so less heavy.

"Goodnight, Mr. Kurosaki."

She rubbed her arms together, not even flinching as the bandages crinkled against her arms, hugging herself as she silently walked up to Ichigo's room. Karin and Yuzu had gone to bed soon after dinner which they eventually _did_ have- and now after a cooling shower, all that was left to do was make herself at home.

Rukia smiled to herself as she felt the soft cotton fabric brush against her skin. She was wearing a pair of freshly laundered pyjamas that belonged to Yuzu, who had been surprised when Rukia had told her that she simply wore her day clothes during the night. The corridor was dark as she looked over at the door of Ichigo's room- which was shut. Light shown out from the slit under the door.

She grinned. Was it possible for someone's face to hurt from smiling too much? Why was it that even though Rukia had just met Ichigo roughly two months ago- but was practically almost _living_ with him already?

How could it be possible that she could meet a crazy family- a family that welcomed her in with such grandeur and affection that it almost baffled her? They weren't supposed to be _happy_ to invite her in- they were supposed to grumble about her being a freeloader, talk about her behind her back. And yet still- even when she'd tried to end her life- in a place they had no idea of, in a house they didn't know the address of- somehow, in some twisted way, they had saved her all the same. In some bizarre, strangely wonderful turn of events- the first person she'd seen when she'd opened her eyes was Ichigo Kurosaki- also the last person she had thought of before collapsing.

Snuggling in the breezy scent of her pyjamas (which was weird, but it just smelled so _nice_) Rukia softly opened the door and entered Ichigo's room.

"Ichigo?' she asked in a hushed tone, stepping in and closing the door behind her with a _click_ "Are you asleep?"

But the sheets were empty. She frowned, looking over at the extra mattress Ichigo had dumped on the floor. They hadn't exactly decided who was going to sleep on what, but if he thought she was taking the mattress on the floor, he was highly mistaken.

"Ichigo? Where are you?" she asked, but was met with silence. She huffed, looking around. Everything seemed normal and untouched, he couldn't have been kidnapped.

Or maybe he _had_- if the kidnappers were skillfull enough.

She brought a hand up to scratch her head, sopping raven hair, smelling strongly of strawberry-scented shampoo, dripping onto the bare skin of her neck in the heat.

"Ichigo?" she called out louder.

Who in their right might would _want_ to kidnap that idiot?

"What?!"

Rukia jumped violently, crashing into the door behind her with a loud thump, as the voice came out of nowhere, her heart beating wildly. Brushing wild wet hair out of her eyes, she caught sight of Ichigo's scowling face. Out of the window.

Floating.

"Holy-! What is _wrong_ with you- you almost gave me a heart attack!" she exclaimed, once having regained all her senses.

Ichigo's face broke into a grin "By disappearing without a notice, or by appearing just now?"

"How- where- _what_ are you standing on?!" she asked, nearing him. She had to admire the idiot's athleticism though- he seemed to be hanging by the window.

"There's a ledge right here." he said shifting a little. Rukia leaned forward over the window sill, the lukewarm breeze blowing through her hair as she saw the small, brick ledge Ichigo was perched upon "You can pull yourself up and go on the terrace from up there," he said, pointing to a brick wall directly above the ledge, and tiles following.

"Who would _want_ to climb it up in the first place?"

Ichigo met her gaze and gave a little smirk "Why? Scared?"

Rukia's eyes narrowed at him, only making his smirk grow even more in triumph. Something about this guy was so highly infuriating and yet at the same time, too thrilling for her liking. She huffed- and taking a careful hold on the window sill, hopped out the window. She looked up to see Ichigo raise a brow at her, to which she gave a smirk.

"Bring it on, Kurosaki."

* * *

"_Stop_ trying to help me!"

"I'm not trying to help you-"

"Then _stop_ holding my arm!" she hissed back, teeth gritted "I'm not a child! I don't need any help, dammit!"

"Jesus- you're barely five feet, Rukia!" Ichigo hissed back, pressed up against her on the small ledge, his right hand gripping her left arm tightly "Do you _know_ how high that wall is?"

"I don't care, I don't need your help!" she snatched her arm away from his hold, glaring daggers at him. Ichigo glared right back, lips set in a thin line.

The ledge was too small to accommodate the two of them. They both stood there, Rukia's back pressed into Ichigo's front snugly as she squirmed to get a greater grip on the top of the wall- one she could barely reach.

Ichigo's teeth were gritted and he pressed his left palm onto the wall in front of him tightly, taking deep breaths. Rukia was groaning and gasping in front of him, pressed between his body and the wall as she stood on her very tiptoes, fingertips trying desperately to grasp the top edge of the wall. Her back rubbed back into Ichigo's front deliciously hard, making him shudder.

He bit his upper lip, nails cutting into his palm as Rukia moaned at yet another failed attempt and hopped a little, causing a delightful friction that almost made Ichigo's knees buckle down as he gasped- immersed in his own pain.

It seemed like Rukia had no idea what she was doing, and it was taking all of his self-control not to grab her and just haul the woman up on to the terrace, just to end the excruciating torture he was being put through.

"Rukia, just-"

"Got it!" she cried triumphantly, fingertips catching hold of the top of the wall, as she launched herself up, her legs kicking out behind her.

Ichigo leapt away, dropping to his knees on to the side just in time before her legs could kick him off the ledge and onto the poorly-kept patch of grass one floor below. Sweaty, panting and utterly furious- he looked up to find Rukia, peeking down at him from over the wall.

"You almost killed me, midget!"

Her grin only seemed to grow bigger, one of such pure ecstasy and childish happiness that Ichigo didn't have the heart to make a comment.

"See? I told you I didn't need your help."

* * *

Grumbling, Ichigo climbed up the tiles to where Rukia sat, her knees propped up to her chest. The moon shone out brightly, lighting up her face, but the air was highly congested- even at almost midnight- as she smiled, her pale face shining.

Ichigo came to sit beside her on the jagged tiles, dusting his hands on his jeans. From where he sat, Rukia looked unbelievably tiny. It was dark, the hue of royal blue painting the night-sky as they looked at a dark town together, bathed in silence. Ichigo's eyes travelled down to Rukia's arm and he flinched, knowing that behind the light blue fabric were her bandages.

He was aching to ask her about it- he knew she needed some space after everything that had happened , but couldn't she see that Ichigo was itching to know? At this point, he felt like nothing could ever surprise him- he'd built so many scenarios in his head about why and what had happened with her.

Instead of asking though, Ichigo looked up at the sky, imitating Rukia.

"What were you doing out here?" she asked him. Her face didn't turn sideways to look at him, but her voice was laced with awe, as she gazed at the scene in front of her. Ichigo turned to glance at her, and couldn't help but grin a bit. Did the midget look at everything like it was a pace of artwork yet to do?

"I like coming up here." he answered.

"Why?"

He shrugged "I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know? There is a reason for everything."

"Oh, really?" he asked sarcastically, eyeing her. He knew he was supposed to be gentle- to not pester her like Isshin had advised him earlier that day- but he couldn't help it "Then why don't you tell me the reason for _that_?" he gestured towards her bandaged arm.

Rukia's eyes darted down as she went a little red "I told you I'll tell you some other time" she muttered.

He snorted "Some other time...yeah, like the next time you do it?"

"Damnit, Ichigo, I told you I'm not going to do it again." she snapped angrily and Ichigo stiffened, scowling .

If there was something that both intrigued and irritated him about Rukia- it was her tendency to be extremely private about her life. Ichigo knew her for two months- and yet, he had no idea about her family- what was happening, what had _happened_.

"Fine" he muttered, turning his face away, even though he knew she was still glowering at him.

"I don't understand why you keep on dragging this topic!" she said in exasperation "My word should be enough for you."

"Yeah, well, I can't risk it on your '_word_'."

Couldn't she see that in such a short amount of time, he had gotten dangerously close to her? It was terrifying- and every day Ichigo couldn't understand what it was about her that was making him so restless and anxious all the time, and it was beginning to drive him _crazy_.

The look she gave him right then could cut through diamond and he winced, sighing as he hung his head.

"Okay- fine, forget I said that" he grumbled. She eyed him silently, and looked back at the night sky, her violet eyes shining a little. She felt slightly cool as the breeze flew through her wet hair and cooled the unbearable heat down.

"Rukia?'

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you take art?"

She looked at him, startled "What?"

"Well-" he shrugged "-You love art, and I've seen some of your stuff- they're brilliant. But I don't think you took up the subject at Seretei, did you?"

Rukia hesitated, looking uncomfortable "Well, no. But I just...I only do it for fun. I didn't even think of it being something that'll earn me money until-"

"Until what?"

"What about you?" she asked him instead, tilting her head towards him "Why did you come to Seretei?"

Ichigo ran a hand through his hair "I...I wanna become a doctor someday, hopefully."

Rukia's lips twisted into a smirk "Like your father?"

His eyes widened "Hell no! _Nothing_ like that maniac!"

She chuckled, "So when d'you plan on taking the entrance exam for med school?"

Ichigo shrugged "Seretei is kinda like a preparation for med school. I'm with Medical Science now so it can help me ace the entrance exam in one go."

"Hm, it's very hard though." she said thoughtfully "I never took you to be the type of guy who wanted to pursue such a serious profession."

Instead of flaring up, Ichigo simply scoffed "Yeah, I get that a lot. I look like a rowdy with the muscles and the orange hair, right?"

"Oh no, you're more of a Strawberry" she smiled "No, I meant you look like just another dumb jock."

He glared at her as she lay on her back on the tiles, eyes looking up at the moon "But seriously, why do you want to be a doctor? Is it like- you know- running the family clinic- continuing your father's legacy- that sort of thing?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes "From what kinda angle do I look like I wanna be _anything_ like my father?"

Rukia looked at him, her eyes twinkling, and Ichigo felt a sudden urge to look away.

"You know, if you don't want to answer my question then you can just say so. No need to try to distract tor drag the topic."

Damn, she was observant.

Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his hair and lying back next to her, his arms crossed behind his head for support. The warm scent of strawberries wafted from Rukia and Ichigo exhaled slowly.

"I...want to save lives." he said shortly, eyes on the moon above their heads "You know- stupid people like you who don't understand the value of life. People who deserve a chance to live. People like..."

He expected her to snap something at him about how she wasn't stupid- in fact, he had been counting on it so as to change the topic. But she just turned her face slightly to look at him.

"People like your mother?"

Ichigo's body went stiff at her words. His mind went back to that terrifying evening, the details unnaturally accurate for the recollection of a young nine-year old. The splash of water- the scream- the mindless shaking as everything faded into a blur of blue and red and hauntingly white... It had been almost a decade ago, and yet the memory gave Ichigo the chills every fucking time. The shouting and desperate clutching of hands as a small nine-year old Ichigo was pushed out of the way, his hands stained in the unmistakable red of his mother's blood...Isshin's face as he'd desperately tried to bring her back, as he'd been pushed away and held back as other doctors dealt with her, while both father and son cried that day, thrashing around wildly.

Ichigo didn't remember who'd been holding him- he didn't need to- he didn't _want_ to. That day, the one person he'd loved the most in his life had left him, and there was no one to blame for it but him. He'd avoided going to the hospital ever since. Until Rukia.

"I miss my sister sometimes."

Ichigo jerked up to find that Rukia had started talking again. It felt like she had realized- and accepted- that the topic of his mother was highly sensitive. Ichigo felt relief and gratitude wash over him as he looked at her.

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know" she said.

He frowned "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know." she repeated simply "I don't live with her anymore."

"Oh." That was rather a bad comeback, but honestly- what did Rukia expect him to say? He gave her a curious look. The girl was nothing like he had expected her to be at first. His mind flashed back to that time when he'd met her in the Janitor's Closet, seen her laugh and irritate him, as it was the easiest thing to do when you actually felt hollow inside. Because now he could see it even if he couldn't before- that empty, gaping hole she looked like she was in- and it made him admire her even more. Well, it would have even more, if she hadn't attempted suicide.

"If I could-" Rukia said slowly "- I'd tell my sister that I'm sorry. She really did try to help."

And Ichigo looked at Rukia and bit his tongue before he could ask her what it was she was talking about. What she had wanted help in. It didn't matter what had happened, how Rukia had come to be, where she had come from- because really, Ichigo had no idea about any of those things. It didn't matter because they were there now, and that was all that seemed to be of any significance.

He gave her shoulders a little nudge "She knows that."

Rukia turned to look at him "You think?"

"Yeah. Siblings are like that, trust me" he shrugged nonchalantly "Don't beat yourself up about it."

He could feel her smiling a little, and fought the urge to look at her, knowing that if he did, he would only end up going pink in embarrassment- and while he didn't mind having this whole 'philosophical' talk with Rukia, he drew the line at blushing.

He squirmed uncomfortably as the scent of strawberries enveloped him again. For some reason, he felt that Rukia's body was closer to his then it had been before as they lay there under the starlight. Her left shoulder touched his right, and he could almost feel the warmth emanating from her tiny body, that was so small...so deliciousy inviting- as if almost asking for his arms to be wrapped around them.

Ichigo went a little straight self-consciously when he felt Rukia's arm brush against his.

"Thankyou, Ichigo." she said "For everything."

His breath hitched.

_Why did she have to be so close?_

"...Yeah, whatever."

* * *

**A/N: HOLY SHIT MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET! (...I THINK!). Also, I feel this chapter was waaaaay weird, I have no idea why -_-**

**I didn't mean to add the last bit, I was planning on something else, but I couldn't help it, it was so sweet, and I was sleep-deprived when I was writing this as I had this sudden surge to ****write and keep on writing and I should stop because I'm rambling on.**

**Thankyou for reading, adding this to your fave's and alerts! I love you all! Please review :) Let me know how I can improve my writing, I appreciate it!**

**I AM ON A SUGAR HIGH, AND HAVE DEVELOPED A LOVE FOR CAPS-LOCK!**

**THANKYOU!**

**~SS~**

**P.S. ...AND EXCLAMATION MARKS!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: And here I am :)**

**Just a heads up, this is a LONG chapter. I just felt this overcoming urge to describe everything all of a sudden -_- But there is another reason for that, which I will tell you after you've finished reading this, so that you won't kill me now XD. Although, judging by the last sentence you might've already guessed it...**

**A BIG thanks to- ****EmpressMinea, Camille loves chocolate, Neko-chan2604, NarutoLuver896, teshichan, zitag, WhiteSheWolf17, totaleclipse84, Naomi Tachi, Metal1loves, Hunnybee07 of the shadow, Nobody's Apple, Black-Wolf-2631 and Darling-Stardusted-Traverser** **for reviewing :) If I have missed anyone, let me know. And a great thanks to everybody who added this to their fave's/alerts, this story has reached 100+ follows because of you awesome people!**

**To Darling-Stardusted-Traverser: Thank you for reviewing and pointing out my mistakes!**

**DISCLAIMER- No, I don't own Bleach, and my friends like to keep on reminding me that. Which is mean, really. I mean, can't a girl dream once in a while?**

* * *

_And I'll be by your side, whenever you fall_

_In the dead of night, whenever you call_

_And please don't fight, _

_These hands that are holding you_

* * *

_**By Your Side**_

* * *

Rukia was sulking. Perched on the floor of Ichigo's room, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, she glared daggers at the oblivious teen who was fast asleep on his bed.

Okay, so it wasn't _her_ fault that she was short! The previous night, when they had finally decided to get down, Rukia had realized that jumping over a six foot wall from a small ledge was comparatively much easier than having to jump _down_ from it onto the small ledge.

As a result, a highly smug Ichigo had easily maneuvered himself down and spent a good half-an-hour gloating and watching her try, before helping her down.

And _yes_- she had gotten a little distracted with the way he had raised his arms and scooped her up- like one would a child- but ever so gently, and then proceeded to climb inside from the window with her in his arms. And _yes_, the way his fingers had so lightly grazed over her hips had sent Rukia's skin tingling. The way he'd looked flustered when he'd had to hold her close to his chest had brought a sudden, aching rush of warmth inside her, and so _yes_, she had gotten distracted, big deal!

But that Ichigo Kurosaki was an evil scheming bastard, because the next thing Rukia had known, he had dumped her unceremoniously (albiet not _too_ roughly) onto the mattress on the floor, and had jumped to his bed, fiercely marking his territory and telling her flatly that she was sleeping on the floor.

No amount of pillow-hitting, punching, name-calling or bribing would make him move, so Rukia had stubbornly planted herself next to him on the bed, refusing to move. He had shrugged and laid down, turning his back to her and had told her to enjoy herself sitting in such an uncomfortable position. In the end, she had to move down to the mattress because there simply was not enough place for both of them on his small bed (not that she would sleep next to him even if there _was_ place).

And now here she was, six hours of not-so-comfortable sleep later, awake early and unable to decide how to wake the brash, orangehead up- whether she should throw a bucketful of water on him or scream so loud that she brought the whole house down, or if she should tickle him. It was a tough decision, to be honest.

_Hmm_... She tilted her head sideways, scooting over closer to Ichigo's sleeping face, pressed into the bed as he lay on his stomach, tangled in the bed covers. Ichigo's mouth was squished, cheeks unbelievably plump, pressing against the mattress. His mouth was slightly open- and if Rukia was very, _very_ quiet- she reckoned she could hear him snoring softly.

She looked at him, frowning as she wasn't able to make up her mind._ Maybe she should pounce on him..._? But then there was that risk that the idiot would grab her and throw her half-way across the room if he panicked and didn't see who it was. If she got lucky, she might even fly out the window- and no offence, but she was in no mood for that at precisely seven o' clock in the morning.

_So_…she sat back, index finger tapping her chin as she thought, eyes stuck on the gaping, fast asleep face of Ichigo Kurosaki.

_What to do…?_

"GOOD MOOOOOOOORNING, ICHIGOOOOOOO!"

She barely had time to leap out of the way before a human-shaped rocked burst inside the form of Isshin Kurosaki. Rukia's eyes bulged as she saw Ichigo's eyes shoot open and his muscles flex. In one go, the orangehead had flown off the bed and jumped to the floor, causing Isshin to crash violently into the opposite wall.

Rukia blinked as Ichigo jumped up from the floor.

"YOU FRIGGIN' PSYCHO, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"IT WAS A GOOD MORNING WELCOME TO MY PRETTY, PRETTY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW-"

"YEAH, WELL, SHE COULD'VE BEEN CRUSHED HALF TO DEATH IF YOU-"

"AHA! SO MY SON DOES HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER!" Isshin cried accusingly, bouncing off the wall to his feet as if the crash had caused him no injuries whatsoever. He was dressed in a simple blue shirt and jeans, and was positively radiating energy "BUT DO NOT FEAR, FOR MY ATTACK WAS SPECIALLY PLANNED TO ONLY HURT YOU, MY SON!"

"YEAH, AND ISN'T THAT COMPLETELY NORMAL!"

"Awwww, stop complaining wite a wittle baby girl" Isshin puckered up his lips, and then stood back "Come on, chop-chop! Get ready, we have a big day ahead! You remember what day it is!"

Rukia watched as Ichigo's deeply scowling face cleared, only to make way for a mask of horror. His face paled and eyes darted immediately towards the calendar that hung on the wall.

_Every year_…every year he tried so hard to forget the day- but everytime he couldn't… he simply _couldn't_. The past couple of days had made Ichigo feel like he had been living someone else's life. Someone who was far more better that he was, who wasn't as messed-up, whose life held more meaning.

But that feeling- that feeling he had felt when he had entered that hospital and seen Rukia lying lifeless on the bed- that dreaded, heart-wrenching constricting of his chest came back to Ichigo now as his eyes stayed fixed at the date.

_July 17th._

Frowning, Ichigo threw Isshin a dark look before stomping out of the room. Rukia watched him go in bewilderment, wondering what had happened all of a sudden.

"Well…that was a little…out of character."

Isshin sighed, his temporary sane side showing itself as he walked to the door, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't take it personally." He said, his voice a little softer, a little less excited that it normally was. A little less…alive "He's like this to everyone today."

Rukia's eyes scanned the calendar "July 17th. Is that supposed to hold some significance?"

Isshin nodded "You should get ready. We're going to go to the cemetry, it takes some times to climb all the steps, so we start early."

Rukia stared at him blankly, unable to comprehend anything he was saying "What?"

"Oh, sorry, I must make no sense to you right now." Isshi smiled a little- and Rukia felt something heavy drop in the pit of her stomach when she saw that the usual gleam in his eyes was lost, if only for just a moment.

"It's my wife's tenth Death Anniversary" he said "Ichigo's mom passed away today."

* * *

If Isshin had looked dull then, then he made up for it an hour later, when he started his antics once, sitting around the breakfast table as Yuzu cooked for them.

"I want Fruit Loops." Isshin pouted as he sat on the breakfast table.

"Shut up and eat what's in front of you." Ichigo said gruffly, eyes fixed on his plate.

Isshin's pout grew "Masaki never used to say that. She used to give me Fruit Loops whenever I wanted them."

"Well, we don't have them right now!"

Isshin threw him a glare "It's _your_ fault! You always hog the Fruit Loops!"

Ichigo's eye twitched as he gripped his spoon unnaturally tightly in his grip, looking like he might explode at any given point.

Rukia eyes them both, wondering if she should say something. Dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a sleeveless hoodie, Rukia had come down to breakfast to find that everybody else was downstairs and eating, already dressed. She looked sideways to see how the twins were reacting to the situation, but Karin looked carefully ignorant of the two of them, while Yuzu undid her apron and set it on the kitchen counter.

"Eat your pancakes, Dad." she said softly as she came down to sit with them, setting her own plate down "I'll go buy them at the grocery store today, okay?"

"But I've always had Fruit Loops on July 17th!"

There was the enormous bang of palms hitting the flat surface of the table as Ichigo shot up from his chair, his face set in a deep scowl, teeth gritted.

Yuzu and Karin sighed as if they knew what was coming next, as Rukia looked up to see his defiant face. Ichigo had been more or less silent during the course of the past one hour, answering only in irritable one-word replies or telling Isshin off. For a second, Rukia thought he might really explode, and burst out yelling at his father and his idiocy, but it was Yuzu was started to talk first.

"Brother-"

"I'm not hungry." Ichigo said shortly, pushing his chair back roughly and making his way out of the door.

Yuzu's eyes softened and she looked down as Karin shook her head.

"At least finish your pancakes-"

"I said I'm not hungry!" he called out, wrenching the door open and slamming it shut behind him loudly. Rukia watched the door, frowning, as everybody went quiet in the awkward silence that now loomed around them.

Should Rukia go join him? She was itching to stand up from her chair and follow him out. The fact that he was in one of his rages didn't seem to trouble her that much. It was Ichigo after all- he was always pissed off at something or the other. No, she could deal with his idiocy and his short temper- what she _couldn't_ deal with was the fact that he was upset. Somehow, Ichigo...he didn't deserve to be upset about anything in his life. He deserved to be happy.

"Aah, just leave him alone, he'll have to come to his senses sooner or later." Isshin said indifferently. Rukia looked over at him incredulously, but thought she saw a meaningful look in his eyes. A defeated, painful look that seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else.

"Why d'you always have to _do_ that?!" Karin chastised him. He just rolled his eyes and stuffed his mouth with large spoonfuls of pancake.

"It's not my fault he can't take a little joke."

"_None_ of us are in any mood for jokes, Dad!"

"No, I doubt that." Isshin said, a semblance of normalcy evident in his face as he looked up "I think laughter is really what we need today."

* * *

**_~oOo~_**

**_Masaki Kurosaki_**

**_~ June 9, 1973 to July 17, 2003 ~_**

**_"I love you, and I will love you until I die._**

**_And if there is life __after that, _**

**_I will love you then."_**

**_~oOo~_**

The dirt under his knees was gritty and sandy, and he could almost feel it coursing through the rough fabric of his jeans as he sat there, panting and sweating.

Ichigo was kneeling there in front of his mother's grave, all alone in the scorching summer heat, head bowed down as the trees offered him shade- but he hardly noticed. He was glad he'd left his family off and come here earlier. He needed time to himself- time with his mother, time to just not think, so he could turn back into that nine-year old once again.

Ichigo felt relieved to know that he couldn't cry like he had when he'd been young- that no one could see him at his most vulnerable now. And yet at the same time, that ache that had continued to pang through his heart from the past ten years was killing him inside.

Ten year, yes- not nine and a half.

_Ten years._

He had turned nineteen two days ago, just like he had turned nine just two days before his mother's death all those years ago.

Isshin had tried to throw him a party- like he did every year without fail- but Ichigo had escaped his house, climbing up Rukia's hospital window and seeking solace in her room instead.

He didn't know why- there was just something uncontrollably nice about being in her presence. She didn't offer advice, or breathe comforting words to him. She just looked, and Ichigo felt for a minute that she knew, even if he didn't say anything. As if words didn't mean anything to her, because she could clearly see through him, and needed no other explanation. He just...felt _better_ around her. Maybe because she looked she had gone through so much more than he had, and to know that there was someone who was hurting so much more than he was made him feel a little less alone. He wondered if he should feel guilty for feeling good about that.

Replaying back the past couple of days, Ichigo remembered Rukia telling him that there was something wrong with him when he'd climbed her window.

How could he tell her? Tell her that it had been his birthday that day and that, just like the past nine years, he hadn't felt happy- just felt himself grow so _old_..._. _That everything had been _his_ fault, and his father and sisters had been back at his house throwing a fucking _party_, as if it had unfazed them, as if his fucking birthday was just another _celebration_ when the date of his mother's death anniversary had been growing so hauntingly closer..

_She would've wanted you to be happy. To celebrate and blow out the candles and make a wish- _Ichigo remembered Isshin telling him that on his tenth birthday, when Ichigo had refused to come out of his room. But nothing that anybody told him mattered, because his one and only wish had been left unanswered.

He remembered how he used to miss classes and escape back to that same river bank where his mother had died, walking along the river as it flowed- watching the water ripple, as his little heart hoped for just a glimpse of her again. He remembered that feeling he got- when his heart leapt into his throat every time he saw an auburn-haired woman there, only to find out it wasn't his mother. How his family nor his friends had been able to stop him from going back to that river everyday. He himself couldn't remember when he'd stopped going there actually, now that he thought about it. It had felt like such a comforting, soothing ritual.

"..." he wondered what he should say as he stared at her gravestone. He'd heard people talking about how speaking to your loved one's grave helped you heal- _but what the hell should he talk about?_ He wasn't sure about _anything_, he'd hardly stayed at his mother's grave for more than five minutes in the past ten years, everytime deciding to go someplace to shut himself and sulk in peace.

He looked up to see the grey stone with the italicized inscription and felt a pang of guilt and sorrow flood through him all of a sudden.

"I miss you." he blurted, looking down once again. This was his _mother_- lying under layer and layers of soil...but still listening. He couldn't even look at what remained of her, he felt ashamed- ashamed of himself "I miss you, mum. And I'm sorry-" he could feel that itchy, thick swelling in his throat and he didn't know what to say except to keep on repeating the same words over and over again "-I'm so sorry, I'm so damn _sorry_. I wish- I wish I could somehow take it back, if I could just die instead of you, because _I_ deserved it. You didn't- you should've _lived, _you should've- you-!" he took a deep breath as his voice cut off, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.

How long was he really going to continue hating himself for everything? Scowling and shutting up and never letting anyone get to see him?

He opened his eyes and stared at the dirt he was kneeling on, brushing his palm against it absent-mindedly, as his mouth parted again.

"I...uh...I met someone." he mumbled slowly, eyes fixed on the ground. "She's- she makes me feel like you did. But she's irritating, and she's very short, not to mention that she's completely fucked-up. I don't even know why I-"

"Ichigo?"

Immediately, his head shot up and he whipped around to see Rukia standing there. He froze, eyes widening in horror. _What was she doing here?_ How long _had_ he been there exactly?

He had no idea- he'd lost track of time. All he could really comprehend was that he was kneeling there, in the cemetery, and watching Rukia standing a few feet away from him, her one hand resting on the bark of a tree as she surveyed his defeated form.

Ichigo's insides went on full alert and he stiffened when he saw the way she was looking at him "What are you doing here?"

She gestured to the grave in front of him "That's your mother."

Ichigo gritted his teeth- he didn't want to talk about his mother to anyone "I asked you a question, Rukia."

"So did I."

"No, you didn't. You _stated_ it."

"Well, then, is that your mother?" she asked quietly, her face inscrutable.

"_Yes_, otherwise I wouldn't be here." he snapped "Can't you read the fucking epitaph?"

Rukia didn't flinch, or snap back, nor did she come any closer to him. She just stood there, her violet eyes intense and so deeply annoying that Ichigo wanted desperately to look away.

If only he could.

"I came with your family" she said, studying his face "They're still a long way down."

He ran a hand through his hair "How long have I been here?

Rukia leaned against the tree "For over one and a half hour, I think." her eyes darted over to the gravestone, but she didn't say anything, making Ichigo's eyes twitch in irritation. Why couldn't she just leave him alone?

"Why are you here, Rukia?"

"I just told you-"

"No, I mean why aren't you _down there_ with the rest of them?!"

She frowned, and pushed herself off the tree, beginning to walk towards him slowly "I came up faster."

"_Why_?" Ichigo emphasized, fists clenched as he refused to look her in the eye. He didn't need _her_ to be there, to come to him and pester him all the time- because there was no part of his life that hadn't been exposed to her, no part of his life that she _hadn't_ come into, and it was slowly driving him _insane_.

"I was worried about you."

Ichigo didn't care. Honestly, he wasn't a _child_- he wasn't a broken toy, or some kind of complicated screw-up like _she_ was! He didn't need her. _No_. Just no.

"I'm fine." he muttered, standing up and dusting his hands "How much of that did you hear?"

"Oh." Rukia looked startled, and hesitated, her eyes averting away from him in guilt "Um..."

That was really all Ichigo needed to hear. He cursed as he looked up at the sky. _Great_. Just great. She'd heard him talk to a fucking _gravestone_, like a lunatic. She'd heard what he'd said- every last word.

_That_ was why he didn't like having a close friend- letting someone get under his skin and become too attached in a way that it didn't just make him feel protective of them, but also infuriatingly raw and exposed. He shook his head and shoved past her, not bothering to look at her.

"Ichigo, I didn't mean to-"

"I don't want to hear anything you say, Rukia."

"But it's not my fault!" she called stubbornly "I didn't know you were-"

"Do I _look_ like I _care_?!" he thundered, spinning around to face her once again, his face glowering indignantly.

She stared at him in disbelief "Of course you care! She's your _mother_, Ichigo- of _course_ you care! Who do you think you're fooling by acting all tough-"

"Rukia, don't-"

"I don't know what happened with her, but it's obviously been troubling you ever since-"

"Don't you _dare_-!" he felt his anger bubble. Why couldn't she just leave? Why did she have to meddle? Ichigo didn't like the feeling she gave him sometimes, it made him feel weak and frustrated because it just wouldn't _go_! He didn't want stupid therapeutic talks to 'make himself feel better' because he didn't _deserve_ to feel better! Why couldn't she see that?

"And I'm not _asking_ you to talk about it!" she fired, her own voice rising, and Ichigo wondered for a brief moment if she had read his mind "I'm not asking you to bare your feelings and crap to me, that's now how you are, and I _know_ that! But don't you get tired once in a while? Tired of being that same, scowling idiot all the time and irritating the shit out of people?! I don't know what the hell your problem is, anyway! You have people who love you, and you're shutting up like a _coward_!" _Come on, Ichigo. Take all your anger out on me. Come on- "_You're _pathetic_!"

"What are _you_ then, if _I'm_ pathetic?!" Ichigo growled, eyes lighting up dangerously.

_Yeah, come on, louder like that.._

"Talking to her won't help- talk _with_ her and maybe you'll _get_ somewhere! Stop pretending- she's your mother! I can think of a _thousand_ reasons why you care, but in the end, they all don't count! The fact is that you _loved_ her and-"

"SHUT UP!" Ichigo finally shouted back "Just_ shut up_, Rukia!" he was shaking- but he really couldn't feel any anger. All that was left was an overflowing flood of emotions as it hit him now, ten years later. And it was just as hard as the first time.

_His mother was dead._

"_Stop_- just _stop_ talking to me as if you _know_ everything! You don't know shit about me or my mother! _I_ didn't force you to tell me about whatever the fuck is goin' on with _you _and_ I_ don't talk to people about it, _period_, deal with it any fucking way you _want-_" _Exactly like that. Come on..._ "-Not everybody needs to be depressed and paint away their sorrows, Rukia, I'm _not_ you! I'm not you, I'm _fine_, so go away!-" _Take all of that frustration out, Ichigo_.. "-And while you're at it, focus on _your_ shit rather than telling me about things you have no fucking clue about! Just shut up and_ leave me the hell alone_!"

Rukia watched him with an unreadable expression as Ichigo turned around and beat a few bushes away angrily, leaping over the fence.

Her hair flew behind her gently as she saw his tall figure disappear. She thought she saw him fall to the ground, but stopped herself from running to him. He needed to do this alone- he needed to do this all by himself and not let it consume him like he had been letting it from the past ten years, if he didn't want to end up a mess like she was.

But then, she had herself changed so much ever since he'd come into her life. She owed him this.

* * *

Hisana coughed. Now that winter was gone, it was much easier to breath- there was no heaviness in the air, no spiking chill that sent a sharp pain through her lungs every time she breathed, even though it still left her slightly breathless every time.

She looked out at the flowers that had begun to bloom, and smiled a little leaning into the firm solidity of her boyfriend's chest. Byakuya walked cautiously by her side, raising a hand and pushing the door of the cafe open, a bell chiming pleasantly to acknowledge their entrance.

Winter had disappeared, and so Ami had allowed Hisana to venture out of the house. The doctor had suggested Hisana take small walks- not too long to weaken her heart and cause her to collapse, but small enough to toughen her up and keep her going on.

Hisana couldn't keep count of the days passing by nowadays. They were too fast, as if gone in the blink of an eye. Yet at the same time, there were moments when time had stood still- pregnant pauses between the swiftly passing hours that felt like a year long, easing them to halt and think, mourn for the past and worry about the future. Times like when the doctor had told them the bad news- a medical defect that they had all known Hisana had had and which she had earlier seemed to have survived miraculously. A tear in the heart as a baby that had now turned into a hole in the heart of a woman- and Hisana felt dead inside. Times like when she had had heard Ami sobbing in the hall downstairs, looking into the fire in which she had burnt the beautiful painting what seemed like a decade ago- burnt the only trace of Rukia that might have been left to them.

Ami thought Hisana didn't notice, but she did. She noticed when Ami had collected all of Rukia's test papers and thrown them into the small fire, when she had called Kuro thrice in a week to ask about the daughter she'd once despised so much.

Hisana wondered why Ami never asked Kuro to give the phone to Rukia. Not that Rukia would agree to talk to her, but it was worth a try. But Ami's ego was bigger than that- maybe her fear even more. Who was to know if Rukia would be repulsed by the thought of talking to her mother, repulsed by the nerve of Ami for even requesting such a thing? No, Ami was a coward when it came to confrontations. Better to leave things like they were than to worsen them. Kuro called them once a week, telling them of Rukia's painting, her studies, as if mocking Ami for losing such a wonderful daughter.

Maybe that was painful enough for her.

"Here" Byakuya said, handing Hisana a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, shaking her out of her thoughts.

Slowly they made their way to what used to be their regular booth, sliding in with ease and familiarity. Byakuya came up to sit next to her. He wasn't one to display public affections, but Hisana and he both knew it was about so much more than just affection. She needed his support, his warmth. She hated it, but dependency was really all that she had now. She couldn't afford to be too far or too alone or too left out.

"I'm scared." she said softly, hands deftly wrapping around the glass. And she was- because come Sunday, she didn't know whether she was going to live or not. Byakuya eyed her hollow cheekbones, the dark shadows under her dull eyes, and forced himself to look down, bringing an arm to wrap around her and pull her against him. He couldn't see her this sick.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." he said in a soft manner that was reserved only for her "You are going to one of the best hospitals in the whole city."

"Yes, but there are always risks."

"Hisana, they do surgeries like these on a daily basis. That's what they're trained for." his lips brushed against her hair as he let her lean into him. He inhaled her scent, brushing her hair to the side. She was cold, but smelt like...burning amber, for some reason.

"This is an open-heart surgery, Byakuya. They don't do it on a daily basis." she argued, wrapping her arms around her. It was warm, yet feverishly cold. She was so _sick_ of the sickly feeling that went with everything she did- she was sick of never being able to kiss Byakuya without having to break apart in between for large gulps of breath, sick that he always had to be gentle with her- that she never could experience pure, unadulterated passion and forget about everything for one night. Passion mixed with love laced with that hazy, warm, bubbling drunken-ness of euphoria that was so-well described in romance novels.

No, all she could ever feel was _sick_.

"They do it often enough." he replied, chuckling a little as their fingers entwined "And you are a very tough woman, considering that kick you gave Herman in the corridors in your first year."

Even Hisana laughed, twisted her head to look back at his face. He was pale, like her, but there was something different about him. His eyes were still the same soul-sucking black when someone else looked at him, but lit with an unmeasurable fire when he gazed at her. "That was a good day, wasn't it?"

"I wouldn't say that for Herman."

She laughed again, and felt pleasantly happy. At least, 'til the weekend arrived, she should remain like this. She wanted to talk to Rukia before the surgery, but when she had voiced the thought, Ami had snapped at her, telling her that "Rukia isn't going anywhere, and don't you dare talk like that, as if you think you're going to die during this surgery!"

Which, in all fairness, was exactly Hisana was thinking. The fact that her heart was still beating after every single day passed, filled her with relief for the present day, but dread for the next.

"It'll be fine, Hisana, stop thinking." Byakuya said plainly, as she leaned back into his embrace, tracing patterns on his arm that was wrapped around her "It's funny."

"What is?"

"When Mom had Rukia to help her around, to be there to lend a shoulder, I was fine. And now-" her eyes softened "-now when Rukia isn't there, and I'm the only one Mom has...I might not be there too."

"Don't." Byakuya said sharply "Don't assume the result before it has even happened. You'll regret it later."

"That's just it. If I die- I won't be _there_ to not regret it."

"Hisana-" Byakuya's hold on her tightened "-Stop talking. You irritate me when you talk like that, it's one of those rare things you can do to possibly annoy me."

She smiled "I don't know how you manage to sound so romantic, even when you're clearly a cold-hearted, emotionless alien guy."

He rolled his eyes "I'm flattered."

The amused look left her face as seriousness overtook her expression once again as a thought occured to her.

"Byakuya?"

"Hm?" he asked softly, burying his face in her hair and softly kissing it. He really wanted to spend every moment with her, because despite whatever he was saying, he was scared of the future too.

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"If-" she bit her lip "-If I'm not there anymore...will you please find Rukia for me?"

"Hisana..."

"No." she turned her head to look at him through tearing blue eyes "Just in case. Will you promise me that you'll find Rukia for me and tell her I'm sorry?"

Byakuya's eyes softened a little. He'd heard a lot about Rukia from his girlfriend- heard times when Hisana had felt guilty for not being able to stop the abuse happening to her sister. He's been there when she'd cried in guilt, even though he continued to tell her it hadn't been her fault.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Hisana. You tried your best-"

"Will you, Byakuya?" she was crying now, and Byakuya could already feel dread overcoming him- he didn't want her to cry "Will you or will you not?"

His face hardened in resolution and he tightened his arms around her. How could he say no?

"I promise."

* * *

It was completely dark as Rukia lay there on the mattress in Ichigo's room, her arms crossed behind her head. Her eyes were stuck on the nightsky outside the window, as she silently waited.

Ichigo had still not come back from when he had left her that time in the cemetery. Isshin told her it was fine- that Ichigo just needed time to himself, and wasn't that why she had let him go in the first place? But it was nearly eleven hours since she'd last seen him that morning. She was starting to get worried, and she knew he wasn't one to act rationally when he was angry or frustrated.

They were going to leave for Seretei in around a month, and Rukia wondered what had changed- because something definitely seemed to. She was smiling a little more- and she was definitely feeling too happy for someone who was as twisted in the head as she was.

She wondered if Ichigo was the reason of that change.

She heard a shuffle in the corridor outside and blinked, jumping up from her mattress and throwing off her blanket. There was the tumbling of footsteps and a soft thumping against the walls- and Rukia's heart leapt in her throat, hoping that it was Ichigo.

She opened the door and peeked out, and there he was, looking depressingly lanky and stumbling as he walked, head bowed down as water dripped down, leaving a wet trail behind him.

She stepped forward."Ichigo, what did you- you're soaked!"

And indeed he was, drenched down to his very toes. She clutched his hand, shivering a little at how cool he felt. He looked at her through sopping orange locks, his cold, blue lips slightly parted. His eyes were haunted and hollow. For the first time, there was no scowl on his face, no expression whatsoever. Just a terribly disturbing dead look.

"She wasn't there." He murmured hazily.

"W-What?"

"She wasn't there." he repeated again, pushing past Rukia and entering his room, his clothes heavy and sticking to his body. Rukia stared before she shut the door behind her, just as he let himself fall down onto the mattress on the floor where she'd lain, burying his face into the blanket as he mumbled something else.

"Ichigo, wha-? Get the hell up!" she cried, kneeling down next to him "You're wet, you're going to get a cold if you stay like this. And where the heck were you?! Do you _know_ how worried I was?"

He laughed bitterly as she tried to pull him up in vain- he was heavy. He turned his head slightly to peer at her "Yeah, whatever."

"Where were you?"

"Drowning myself."

"_What_?"

He laughed again "Just kidding, keep your head on, midget. I was by the river."

"_By_ the riv- why're you wet then?"

"Well, you see-" he pulled up a mocking thoughtful face "-a river is usually filled with water…"

Rukia growled and with one mighty tug, pulled him up so that he staggered up to his feet, glaring at her as he held himself just in time so as to not fall on her.

"What the hell was that for?!"

She glared right back, hands on hips, and pointed out the door "Out. Into the bathroom." she grabbed a towel from the nearby closet and threw it at him "-_Now_."

He scowled "I don't have to listen to you."

"Oh yes, you _do_, if you don't want your ass kicked to the seven centuries!" She emphasized, throwing pyjama bottoms and a loose shirt at him "_Out_!"

She continued to glare until he had trudged along the corridor towards the bathroom, cursing her under his breath. She wondered why Isshin hadn't heard him come in- but then shook her head- Ichigo must have had a key. After all, it looked like Isshin was already used to Ichigo behaving like this during this particular date, and so he must had given Ichigo full freedom.

She frowned. They weren't supposed to just _give_ _up_ like that!

She switched the lights on, looking around at the blank walls around Ichigo's room. Well…that was the other thing- his room walls. So plain- so _white_. She had to change that. She busied herself by shaking off the wet covers on the mattress Ichigo had fallen on, her expression clearly agitated. Where was she going to sleep? The mattress was damp and squishy now.

She waited for him to return from his hot shower as her head buzzed. Ichigo was a tough guy- he wasn't someone who would be so deeply disturbed by someone's death. Yes, he would've been affected by it, he probably had even changed because of it, but this sort of behavior- going and jumping into rivers, disappearing for hours to come- she wondered what it really was about. Her mind went back to when she'd heard him talking to his mother's grave. He was guilty- he felt guilty for Masaki's death, for some reason.

_"She's- she makes me feel like you did."- _Ichigo had said, and Rukia found herself smiling. Had he been talking about her?

After half-an-hour, he came back in, his lips set in a permanent scowl. His orange hair were wet and tousled, and face tinged pink from the hot water, cool droplets running down his neck into the shirt she had given him.

"See- was that so hard now?" she arched an eyebrow.

He didn't say anything, his eyes blood-shot as he threw his towel on a chair and walked over to his bed, where Rukia was sitting, watching him. Without a word, he fell on the bed and set out a long sigh, throwing away his sheets and covering his head with the pillow. Rukia didn't move from where she was sitting, just saw him lying there.

She knew he didn't want to talk. Who would want to? She knew he wasn't going to apologize for bursting out like that earlier, and frankly, she didn't need an apology. She didn't know why he had gone to the river- but he had been looking for his mother somewhere, somehow. And she knew how it felt to look for a mother and feel like you had lost her forever.

"Ichigo?"

He didn't say anything, and she noticed how his arms pressed tighter around the pillow he was hiding under, his chest rising and falling slowly as he breathed.

"…My mattress is wet. Do you have a second one down in the store room or something?"

She watched him closely, hoping he would answer. She wasn't going to ask him questions. She had shouted out everything that she had needed to earlier, now all she could really do was wait for him to be ready to let go, and while he was at it- processing it with that thick brain of his- she needed sleep.

He didn't say anything for a while. In fact, he didn't say anything at all. They just stayed still in their positions in the buzzing silence.

And then, the true gentleman that he was, Ichigo took the pillow off his head and threw it at her, shifting to make place for her on the bed. Rukia stared at him, catching the pillow in her hand, but he turned his back to her so that she couldn't see him. She felt amazed and shocked. Maybe this wasn't an act of generosity at all- maybe the only reason Ichigo was doing this was because he needed someone tonight...

His tired voice rang out in the air, muffled from where he'd buried his face into the mattress. "I haven't got all day, midget. Get in or get lost."

Shaking her head, she threw the pillow back at him and gingerly laid herself next to him, instantly taking in his scent, and feeling that inexplicable comfort of watching him lying so close next to her.

"I don't use pillows, strawberry."

* * *

**A/N: So a few questions I was wondering.. Was it too descriptive or monotonous? Should I cut back on the drama and angst? I'm a bit concerned about that part, I think maybe I dragged the scenes a bit too long, and maybe I'm slowing the story down and it got a little boring..? Do you think Rukia is portrayed as weak in this story? Any mistakes? Please let me know so I can make it better next time I update. **

**Okay, so the other reason this chapter was a little longer than the normal ones is because I'm going AWOL for around two months come May 2nd. It's summer hols for me, and they don't have internet where I'm going. I'll be making a stop in a place where civilization does exist for hopefully a few weeks, so I might update while I'm there, but I have no idea when that is.. I'm so, so sorry, guys! :( **

**I've got a phone, but typing a whole chapter on there is impossible. ****It's like a vacation from my own stories- while I can read other stories and leave reviews. -_- Once again, I'm really ****sorry!**

**Thank you TONS for bearing with me! :):) and I hope this chapter was good...?**

**Please review, and thanks for reading.**

**~SS~**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Welcome all readers! **

**A HUGE thank you to-** **ilovebks, Neko-chan2604, Camille loves Chocolate, Darling-Stardusted-Traverser, Darkkiss15, xXLeMeowXx, zitag, Darkmyr-InuYashaFan, ceiyn, Naomi Tachi, totaleclipse84, bohemianclub, Black-Wolf-2631, Hunnybee07 Of The Shadow and my three anonymous Guest reviewers for reviewing :) I'm so sorry if I missed anyone :(**

**Black-Wolf-2631: I wouldn't go as far to call it amazing, but I'm so happy you like it! Thank you! :)**

**I struggled a lot with this chapter, since this fic has turned out to be so completely different (and better) from how I had originally planned it to be, so it took me quite a while to update it, I'm sorry :/ I love you all SO DAMN MUCH- everybody who has waited for me to update, thank you!**

**This is probably really stupid of me to say, but the plays '_Romeo and Juliet'_ and '_A Midsummer's Night Dream_' that are mentioned in this chapter are the works of William Shakespeare, and do not belong to me.**

**Thanks to ilovebks for mentioning out the mistake in the previous chapter :)**

**This chapter is for _Darling-Stardusted-Traverser_, who helped me loads while I was trying to write this out, and who gave me an idea that lifted my brain up and made it run like the wind :D Thank you so much!**

**DISCLAIMER- I do not own Bleach.**

* * *

_It's too cold outside for angels to fly_

_An angel will die, covered in white_

_Closed eye and hoping for a better life_

_This time, we'll fade out tonight  
_

* * *

_**Goodbye**_

* * *

"No, I don't want _Romeo_ and _Juliet_ on my walls!"

Rukia smirked, lying lazily next to Ichigo on the bed, leaning against his shoulders and playing with his hair on purpose, her colored fingers leaving smudges of paint on his bright orange locks. He looked agitated, and for some reason, it was a real pleasure for Rukia to know that she was the cause of it. There was something so inexplicably _nice_ about irritating Ichigo. "But I thought you liked Shakespeare?"

"_Romeo and Juliet_ is not the only play by Shakespeare."

"Ah-" she pointed out, poking his arm with her paintbrush "-But it would suit you."

He scowled, and Rukia took pride in it. It was roughly a week before new semester at Seretei would begin again, and from lack of anything better to do, Rukia had taken up painting Ichigo's room. Ichigo had thrown a big fuss about it, but after a rather heated argument (and a helpful interruption by Isshin) the orangehead had agreed, with the condition that she would absolutely _not_ paint any bunnies on his walls.

Rukia full intended to, though. She was just waiting for him to fall asleep so she could begin filling his entire bedside wall with Chappies. She could only hope that he would have a panic attack once he woke up and found his walls tainted by...ahem...cuteness.

"Shut up, Rukia." he said, frowning and squinting into the medical book he was reading, trying really hard to concentrate "For the last time, no Romeo and Juliet!"

She sniffed, sitting up and wiping her paint-soiled fingers on the scruff of his white shirt. He cringed and shook her away distractedly, eyes stuck on his book.

"You're no fun at all" she pouted.

"I'd rather that than sappy romances on my wall."

Standing up on his bed, Rukia put her hands on her hip and studied the plain wall in front of her. Til now, there were only a couple of things she'd done on it- a quote that said "_I always tell the truth, even when I lie."_- which was apparently something Ichigo's favorite actor had said. Rukia had laughed quite a lot at that, because the thought of Ichigo actually looking up to an actor sounded ridiculous in itself, for some reason. The second picture on the wall was a painting of two hands held together- the background paint dripping and brilliantly stark against the wall. One of the hands was bigger than the other- more calloused, and it almost looked like it was offering help to the other smaller hand, which was reaching out. The hands looked smooth, but were held firmly, a shadow falling over the other.

Rukia knew that Ichigo had noticed it, but so far, he had said nothing about it, which hopefully, was a good thing.

"How about I make that fairy queen from_ A Midsummer Night's Dream_?" she wondered aloud, and turned around to stare at his deeply studious face.

He looked up at her from where he was sprawled on the same bed, and he was definitely irritated, but there was a slight quirk to his lips "Very funny." He put his book down defeatedly and scrambled to stand up on the mattress beside her, sighing at the same wall. She saw his eyes dart towards where she had drawn the hands, but he didn't say anything about it yet still.

"Paint something that's...you." he said softly, putting his hands in his pockets and continuing to keep his eyes away from hers firmly "Something different that no one else can make." he said, and this time, his eyes did dart towards the corner of the wall, where she'd drawn the hands.

She looked at him for a moment, too dumb-struck to say anything, her violet eyes wide. He looked back, and there was such a soft, melting intensity in those amber eyes that she just wanted to lean forward and...

"I HAVE GOT IT!"

They both jumped up and immediately looked away, red in the face. Rukia's eyes darted towards the room door, which was still closed, even though she could hear loud footsteps coming up.

"What was that?" she asked, although the question was a bit futile. There was only one person in the entire Kurosaki household who would yell like that out of the blue. Raking a hand through his orange hair, Ichigo snorted and fell down to sit on the bed.

"Who else can it be?"

Sure enough, a minute later, an excited, positively beaming Isshin burst through the door, grinning from ear to ear and bouncing on his feet.

"I have found the _PERFECT_ solution for you, daughter-in-law!"

"Quit calling her that-"

"Don't interrupt when the adults are talking, Ichigo!" Isshin chastised, turning back to Rukia, who stood there, holding her paintbrush and looking at him with a bewildered expression. "So! As I was saying! I have thought over this for quite a long time, and plus, I _really_ don't like your mean, _mean_ landlord, I have decided that I will take your house!"

Rukia sighed. The previous week, Rukia's landlord had contacted Rukia to ask her when she would be paying her rent. It had left her confused, considering she had been living at the Kurosaki's for the past month, but then the landlord had told her that there was two months' worth of rent that Kuro still owed before he had run away. It really shouldn't have been a surprise for her to know that Kuro had left it all on her shoulders, but to some degree...it still hurt. She had contemplated getting a job, but no one would hire her for just a week- which was the only time she had left before Seretei began again- and anyway, the amount of salary she would be given was not even close to the amount of rent she had to yet to pay.

Ichigo had offered to lend her some money, but she had firmly refused. This was something she had to figure out on her own- it was her own problem, and she was _not_ letting any of the Kurosaki's interfere in it too. They had done enough for her as it was already. She was not going to owe them even more.

Ichigo had assured her that he would make her repay him with "more than 45% interest", but something about his eyes- that sincere intensity with which he had looked at her- had told her that when the time came to give him back the money, he wouldn't accept it. So she'd refused.

And now, here was Isshin, with his own idea.

"I'm s-sorry?"

"I can take your house! I can pay the rent and I can use it!" Isshin cried.

Ichigo's expression turned from curious to incredulous as he leaned forward "It's not a cookie, Dad, you can't just '_take' _it whenever you want."

"You can talk to the landlord, I'm sure all he really cares about is money!" Isshin told Rukia, ignoring his son "He's mean, and selfish, he wouldn't care as long as you pay his rent!"

Rukia looked at him apologetically. Really, it was rather sweet how everyone there were trying to help her, but there was a limit to how much she could let someone support her. She hated the guilty, burden-like feeling she was getting "It's okay, Isshin. I honestly don't-"

"I need it for my clinic anyway." Isshin pressed on, looking hopeful "I have many patients who look for a consult and need overnight observation. I can treat them here, on a more personal level, rather than the hospital."

"What difference does it make if they go to the hospital or come to your clinic?" Ichigo scowled, leaning forward.

Isshin shrugged, looking normal for a fleeting moment, "Sometimes the illness is not so serious, but they need overnight observation just in case, and staying over at the hospital can cause them unnecessary charges." he shrugged "The clinic can just do so for free."

"How are you gonna juggle between there and here?"

"We'll have staff!"

Ichigo's brow rose "And...who exactly is gonna agree to work with _you_?"

"You say that as if I'm a mean boss!"

"No...not mean." Ichigo admitted, shrugging "Just crazy."

Isshin looked at him dramatically "You have changed so much from that sweet boy I once used to know! Oh my, what would Misaki _say_! Stop talking to me!" With an exasperated expression, Isshin turned away from his son and looked at Rukia "What do you say, daughter-in-law?!"

"Do you really need it?" she asked thoughtfully, letting the term pass. It was a little dumb question, but she had a sneaking suspicion that a major part of this offer was because Isshin wanted to help, and that he knew Rukia wouldn't let him unless he had a good reason.

"Cross my heart, hope to die." he said solemnly, pulling out a hand and wearing such an innocent expression that Rukia couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Okay."

* * *

It was a Sunday morning, and the weather had deteriorated. Harsh, rough pattering of rain sounded at the background, all traces of summer heat gone, as Byakuya stood motionless against the glass of the hospital window, the wet puddle splashing onto the stone cold drive below where he stared.

His eyes were dark, haunted- and they would be- because he hadn't slept the entire night out of anxiety, and the morning had just been worse. Nothing had gone right..._nothing..._

The sky was dark- and even though the thundering of the storm was loud enough to cause a nuisance, he could hear nothing but a buzz in his mind. Hushed murmurs played in the room behind him- words of apology, words of explanation, and everything was just _horrible_, mixed with that white-sick smell of medicine in the air while he stood, his face impassive. His back was turned to them, fingers curled up around a small ring that he'd been unable to give, and which he was holding onto so tightly his knuckles had turned white, and it was all too _late_...

Byakuya didn't know how to react. A part of him felt like this was all a dream, a part of him was outraged- fuming and trembling with anger so much so that it was painful for him to even attempt to maintain his self-control, a part wanted to walk away before he lost his calm and did something drastic. But in the biting cold weather of the rain, he felt frozen to the ground.

Ami's hysterical screams could be heard now- she had been silent for quite a long while, but Byakuya wasn't really surprised to hear her go at it again- the spine-chilling loud sobbing echoing off the stark white halls of the hospital.

The platinum band of the ring felt metal-cold in his hands- the same hands that had held Hisana's cheeks only hours before; the same fingers that had traced over the pale cracked lips..

..."_This is an open heart surgery, Byakuya. They don't do it on a daily basis." she argued, wrapping her arms around him..._

He'd known it would have it's risks, but...for them to become a _reality_?

Afraid as he had been of the surgery, the thought of losing Hisana had seemed so entirely _impossible_ that he hadn't even tried to ponder over it.

She was _Hisana_. She couldn't die. She just _couldn't_.

And yet- the loud screaming of Hisana's name, the heart-wrenching cries of Ami Kuchiki as she sobbed over the white sheet-covered body in the room behind him, pleading the doctors in vain to return her baby girl back to her, pleading to make her come back to life, pleading to make Hisana okay again- seemed to argue otherwise.

* * *

Rukia smiled, standing in the living room of her old house, the one she used to live with Kuro in. She'd never thought she would be back, but it was funny how one thing could lead to another in such short time.

The walls were no longer cold and white, and suited well along with the warmth of the fire that was now lit in the hearth. It was surprising how large a room could feel once all the furniture had been removed, how _light_ it could feel when all her previous so-called "memories" were stripped off and thrown aside from it. Now, instead of the barren white chipped paint, a large poster of Masaki Kurosaki was stuck on what used to be Rukia's house. She didn't know why, but every time she looked at the bright, smiling face of the woman, Rukia's eyes softened and she felt...at home.

It was a Sunday, and just their luck that it had begun to rain a little while after they had started to pack and move. Rukia's landlord, true to Isshin's words, had just been concerned with the money- and on learning that Isshin was offering to take the house up for rent, and pay out Rukia's debt, _plus_ pay two months' worth of advance- the man had eagerly agreed for Isshin to set up his clinic- or what he liked to called the 'Kurosaki Klinic Part 2'- at the house.

Thunder roared outside, loud gush of wind whistling through the tress as Rukia stood there, slightly out of breath, having just carried a pile of books up the stairs. She liked this new version of her house. It felt...free.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a plushy toy came flying and hit the back of her head, falling down with a soft _plop_ on the floor. Scowling, she turned around to see Ichigo standing there, holding a large, thick rolled Persian rug in his arms.

"Move." he said, scowling comically at her, his face just about visible from above the heavy rug.

She pouted, rubbing her head, even though it hadn't hurt at all "Why did you hit me?"

"Because I need to spread this and you're in the way!"

She tilted her head and studied him. She reckoned the rug must have contained a lot of weight, since Ichigo was panting. The hot and heavy look suited him though, with trails of sweat sticking to his damp forehead and his face brightly flushed, orange hair tousled unmeasurably and slightly wet from the rain as he scowled at her, and for some reason, Rukia couldn't help but smile.

"Rukia. _Move_!"

She jumped, shaking herself slightly "...Right."

Hopping out of the way, she watched as Ichigo let the rug fall on the floor with a heavy _thud_ and proceeded to unroll it. Isshin was away to get some medication while in the next room- which had once been Rukia's- Karin and Yuzu were busy setting up child-friendly toys and wooden blocks for anyone to play with during any young patients' stay. Rukia could hear Yuzu telling Karin where to put the barbies, along with Karin's sarcastic jibes, and she grinned. Even though Isshin said that this 'extension' of the Clinic was just an experiment for a couple of months to see if it turned out to be any good, Rukia felt like it was permanent already, and couldn't help but feel..._happy_ about doing this. In a way- she thought- she was helping people.

"You could help, you know." Ichigo's strained voice came from below and she grinned, walking closer to where he knelt down on the floor they had spent a long time polishing just a few hours ago.

"Admitting defeat against the large evil rug, are you?"

He looked at her in annoyance, tugging at the rug to unfold it "Sometimes I wonder why I even like you, Rukia."

She blinked at him for a minute before smiling a little, her cheeks turning pink. Bending down, she hooked her hands under the roll and helped him unroll the rug and spread it out on the floor before the fire. Although the weather wasn't helping, it certainly felt more cosy being in there with Ichigo and the others. It was with a pang that Rukia realized that the memories she had never been able to make with Kuro in this house were being made with Ichigo and his family.

"Damn, this thing was heavy." Ichigo said as he wiped his face and came down to sit onto the now carpeted floor, looking around the brand-new Kurosaki Klinic Part 2. Except for a bed in the corner and an armchair by the fire, the room was completely devoid of anything, and for some strange reason..it didn't feel like a clinic at all. It felt like the home she had never had.

Rukia settled herself down onto the rug beside Ichigo, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them as she gazed wordlessly into the fire, her breathing evening out. Rain, chilly breeze outside, warmth inside- it was the same fire, she thought. The same fire by which Kuro had looked at her with those maniacal eyes, almost choking her. Ironic how the day she had attempted to die had made her life take a turn for the better.

"What did you do here all day when you used to live here?" Ichigo wondered out loud, looking around at the house.

Rukia shrugged "What you normally do at your house. I painted, watched some T.V., had lunch, slept. Most of the time I was out with you anyway."

_There are not many good memories attached to this place ever since Dad shifted here_, she wanted to say. She wondered if that was a good thing or a bad- to not be attached to such a horrible place.

"What about before you met me?" Ichigo asked "You must have some friends around here."

The question tugged something painful in her chest. What to say to that? How to tell him that he was the first real friend she had had? She shifted against him uncomfortably "What, like you have so many friends around here?" she asked sarcastically, hoping it would hide some of her unease.

"I have friends. They're just a giant pain in the ass." Ichigo reasoned, glancing at her "What's your excuse?"

The rain outside was a little disturbing, if Rukia was to be honest, and for some reason, she felt terribly uneasy. And not because of his questions either. There was just something about the _day_ that felt horribly out of order. As if something was _wrong_- as if she was needed somewhere else. But she had nowhere else.

Who else in this world would need her right now?

"Well, I recently shifted to Karakura." she said, pushing her thoughts away and looking at Ichigo "About a year ago, roughly before I left for Seretei. So...you're really the only person I know over here."

Ichigo looked dumb-struck as he stared at her. It was a few minutes before he found his voice again.

"And your _dad_ left you all _alone_ after all this?" he asked, his anger making way into his voice effortlessly "_Just like that?!_"

Rukia looked at the incredulous look on his face and shrugged. It was nice to know that he cared, but after everything, being left by Kuro felt oddly relieving to her "It's no big deal. It happens."

"It _is_ a fucking big deal, Rukia!" he argued and something about his expression flooded an incredibly warm feeling through her "I know we've been trying to forget about it but- _God_, Rukia, _how_ can you let him get away with this?!"

"Why?" she teased, eyes twinkling as she nudged his shoulders a little, feeling lightly happy "Worried about me?"

He blushed, opening his mouth to say something, but paused as laughter filled their ears. Rukia turned slightly to see Yuzu and Karin making their way out of her room, mid-way in deep conversation. Karin looked over at her brother and caught them sitting before the fire and smirked, walking away while Yuzu's eyes widened as she halted.

"Oh..um- hey." she said, voice barely above a mumble as she fiddled with her fingers "We didn't mean to disturb you guys. Just that...well, would you like some hot chocolate?"

"Sure." Rukia smiled as Ichigo, flustered, nodded his assent too. Yuzu nodded back and hopped away hurriedly into the kitchen, and Rukia didn't know why, but she quite liked the way the twins had left her alone with Ichigo, noticing the obvious.

It wasn't much- but it was a start.

Chuckling, Rukia turned to regard Ichigo, who was looking at her through hazy amber eyes in the warmth of the room, and there was a rush so exhilarating inside her at the sight of his concerned face that she couldn't breathe for a moment. He looked away from her and instead, concentrated his gaze on his fingers.

"It's not like that...I mean, of course I'm worried about you." he mumbled, continuing the conversation from where they had last left it off, his voice becoming soft "Its just that...you don't deserve all of the shit you're going through, you know." - the last part was barely audible, but Rukia heard it anyway.

She wanted to laugh and tell him that he didn't even know half of the full story, but it was too complicating to talk about now. For a change, she wanted to just like the simplicity of the moment, she wanted to feel that burning agony of his touch, because every time Ichigo touched her- she felt calmed and excited at the same time.

For a minute, there was silence, with the violent downpour outside and the rain and she nudged him softly, enough to make him look at her glowing face before the fire.

"Neither do you."

And he smiled- just a little- as Yuzu returned with their hot chocolate, handing them the drinks and smiling softly. The damp coolness in the air remained as Rukia thanked her and brought the scalding, yet comforting drink to her lips, taking a sip and feeling the chocolate warm her inside. Karin came along, jumping up and sprawling onto the bed, saying something about Isshin being late because "he was dancing in the rain", Yuzu curling into the armchair- and Rukia and Ichigo on the rug, comfortably next to each other, thighs touching, hands clutching warm, steaming mugs- waiting for the storm to pass.

* * *

_Panic_. He could feel nothing but absolute confusion, mixed with that terrifying panic painfully clutching his sides as he panted.

He was running- he didn't know for how long, but everything was distorted, completely out of order- everything except the heavy square of canvas he was clutching. The headache was pounding, and somewhere far away, a light flickered- blindingly bright. He squinted, and he wanted to hit himself because everything was swimming around and around and _nothing_ was in his fucking focus.

He shook his head, and instantly regretted the action as it only made his head pound even more. Swallowing gulps of air in his lungs, he clutched the painting tightly to his chest and stumbled onto the pavement. Smoke cleared out somewhere, fizzing and spitting, and Kuro Michits blinked, rubbing his eyes vigorously. His skin itched- crawling with bugs, craving for the things he had withdrawn from ever since his daughter came, because he'd wanted to show her he was a fucking good _father_...

...Which daughter was it again, he wondered?

The three years of withdrawal had weakened him just as much as it had strengthened him. The long drag he'd taken once she'd gone to that place- it felt like it had saved him from drowning. And he'd craved it ever since, resisting because of some unknown foreign feeling he'd misplaced as _love_...resisting because of _her_...

Now he realized..there was no point in resisting. It was his saviour- his survival. He didn't need _her_. He'd tried so _hard_ to be nice to her, but she'd only ended up sabotaging everything- he had given her _everything_...but she had put him in jeopardy, made _everything_ so much more fucking complicated...

He _hated_ her.

There was a cry from somewhere reasonably far away and Kuro's head immediately turned towards the direction, wide blood-shot eyes blinking for any sign of sight, but all he could see was brilliant colors and painfully hazy images that he could make no sense of.

It sounded like they'd yelled "_Catch him!_" but Kuro wasn't entirely sure. His eyes darted down to the hazy face in the painting- a face that looked very real now, a face of a girl blinking up at him- her eyes shining through the light coat of water that seemed to surround her. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought she was looking at him with loathing, with eyes that called him a traitor, because he _was_ one. The painting had been staring at him ever since he'd taken it and ran- looking at him with burning dark eyes beyond the fog- and for a second, Kuro's heartbeat fastened in fear, wondering what would happen if the girl in the canvas reached out and grabbed him by the neck, because the look on her face was _murderous_..

He blinked, rubbing his eyes, snarling. It was _his_ painting, the painting _he_ had sold...so he had every right to take it back! The girl in the painting had no reason to look at him as if he had betrayed someone, everything was _his_. Clutching it tightly to his chest, he scrambled up to his feet, wanting to run, but the world swam in his head, and he fell against a wall again, bright, painful colors swirling and stabbing him in his eyes.. _His _painting...it was _his...no _one else's...

Growling, Kuro Michita swayed, hitting something deliciously hard as he grazed along the gravelly walkway, and his foot caught something as he cried out and fell to his feet. He groaned and shut his eyes in exhaustion. He clutched the canvas tightly- now he could finish his collection...now he had all of Rukia's paintings...except for those three he couldn't be bothered with..

_Rukia. _He sighed against the sidewalk. So her name was Rukia..

From what seemed like a huge distance away, he heard his mobile ring, the harsh, shrill ringtone making him wince as he curled against the wall, pressing himself close so that they wouldn't see...He felt exhausted and euphoric and his lips widened to form a grin as he breathed.

_Rukia._

His expression changed to a frown, as an image played out somewhere in the back of his hazy mind- of blood seeping out of her outstretched arm, of her calm, unconscious expression as she lay there, eyes closed, the ringing of a mobile phone, the shrieking of the neighbour, the panic, the relief that had flooded him through, the _horror_...

Kuro coughed, eyes tightly shut.

He _hated_ her. God, he _hated_ her. _So much._

Paying no heed to the still shrill ringing of his mobile phone, Kuro Michita curled protectively around the piece of canvas he was hugging and fell into a deep, drunken, drug-induced sleep.

* * *

Ichigo leaned back, having successfully set his and Rukia's luggage in their compartment. Their train had already arrived at the platform and was due to leave in another five minutes. He walked through the corridor, pushing past the crowded people, and jumped onto the platform below, eyes immediately darting towards where Rukia was standing, saying goodbye to his family.

It was a windy morning- summer having rapidly gone- and he felt inexplicably cheerful, for some reason- which was a horrible feeling, because as long as Ichigo was concerned- he was _not _supposed to feel cheerful. He was supposed to scowl.

Rukia was laughing, saying something to Isshin, who grinned. Her hands were being shaken vigorously- first by Isshin, and then Yuzu- as she tearfully said goodbye, with Karin standing in the corner awkwardly, looking extremely uncomfortable. Something about the sight made Ichigo pause and decide not to go over to them, not wanting to ruin the moment. From so far away, the four looked just like a family. So normal, so _happy_.

They'd gone through so many ups and downs during the whole summer vacations- from fun, laughing moments to nostalgia and...those unbearably warm, panting, heart-aching moments when Ichigo had looked at Rukia and never wanted to look away. The time when she'd lain unconscious on the hospital bed and he'd watched her, hoping she would wake up with so much _hope_...the time they had slept on the same bed.

Ichigo flushed and raked a hand through his tousled hair, leaning against a nearby pole on the platform and crossing his arms, eyes stuck on the stupid midget as he waited for her to have her moment, his mind traveling back to his earlier thoughts.

Somehow, they'd gotten used to the stuffed, uncomfortable cosiness of his bed when they both had snuggled onto it, and before they knew it, they had been sleeping on the same bed ever since. There were times he'd been unable to sleep at night, times he'd watched her out of pure boredom because he was afraid if he shifted or got up he might wake her, secretly chuckling every time she mumbled in her sleep- or sneezed- or when she unknowingly cuddled into him, clutching his shirt and burying her face in his chest. He'd never said anything, never objected, because it felt nice to let down his guard for once and be able to wrap his arms around her, and pull her as close to himself as he had always wanted to, without her saying anything.

Now, he watched her mingle with his family, and he felt so _right_, so unable to remove that incredibly annoying smile tugging at his lips.

Isshin looked over to Ichigo, and gave him a nod, looking oddly proud.. and for some reason, Ichigo grinned a little at that. Yuzu sniffed and waved, Karin by her side, squirming. Ichigo raised his hand in goodbye. It had been a good vacation- vacation was always good at his place, no matter how much he argued, but _this_ time...his gaze turned to Rukia...this time, it had been particularly good.

He'd already gone through Yuzu's hugging and Isshin's loud farewell speech, and Karin's handshake. He smiled at Yuzu, who attempted one back before they turned, decidedly leaving. Rukia watched them go, and Ichigo thought he saw a flash of longing pass her eyes, gone in a second.

What she probably didn't know was that he needed her just as much she needed him. And Ichigo hoped she really did need him as much as he did, because he was just coming to realize how much she was starting to mean to him. It was uncomfortable, unplanned, and fucking _horrible_ to feel that ache everyday, but he couldn't possibly deny it any longer. Not after holding her at nights and feeling that desperate want to do so much more to her, to _be_ someone more to her, apart from just her friend.

"Hey-"Rukia's soft gaze broke Ichigo from his reverie and he staggered as he stood straight up, startled to see her having come up so close to him without him realizing "-You okay?"

The loud noise of the steam engine somehow felt comforting as Ichigo stood on their platform in front of Rukia, who looked unbelievably tempting in her dark, buttoned-down coat, her skin flushed pink against the chilly monsoon air and dark hair flying.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but Rukia and he had gotten more close- more _civil_ towards each other. At least in things that mattered,

He dug his fists in his pockets, looking at her and then behind him at the train that stood still "...Yeah, I'm fine"

"Then what're you waiting for?" Rukia asked, looking surprised "Let's get on."

"Right." he shook his head and unpocketed his hand to stand straight up, watching numbly as Rukia got on and the engine sounded. He turned, taking a last look at the bustling platform before him.

They were going back. Back to Seretei, and maybe- this year was going to be more interesting than the previous.

"Ichigo, are you sure you're okay?" came Rukia's voice as she turned to meet his eyes "You're been staring into space the whole morning."

"Shut up, midget."- was the best comeback he could come up with, and to his annoyance, it made Rukia's lips quirk up a little as she watched him slowly climb up the steps of the train and come onboard. He scowled at her expression when all of a sudden, the train beneath him jerked and he let out a startled yell, staggering backwards.

Just then, cold, deft fingers came to curl around the collar of his jacket, pulling him straight up again. Breath knocked out as the train began to move away from the station, Ichigo stared down into Rukia's violet eyes, which were painfully brilliant against the daylight, his heart beating wildly at their proximity as he realized she was holding his collar, pulling his face down almost at level with hers.

"Watch where you're going, you idiot." she muttered, letting go of him abruptly as the train picked up speed. Dazed, Ichigo stayed frozen on the spot for a minute longer, heart thudding in his chest, feeling extremely uneasy and suffocated in his clothes all of a sudden as he watched Rukia bend down and fiddle with her small rucksack she had insisted on carrying herself.

It was with irritation when she looked up and glared at him "For God's sake, what is wrong with you today, Ichigo?! This is the hundredth time you've stared into absolute nothingness! Are you even listening to me right now?"

Gritting his teeth as Rukia came closer to him yet again, waving her hand in front his face, Ichigo shoved her away, scowling. Rukia peered at him, a rather hurt expression on her face as he walked past her. Wanting desperately to say something cool, but finding nothing, Ichigo looked away, moving alongside the corridor for their compartment "Come on, midget. Before someone takes our stuff."

Frowning and extremely confused, Rukia followed him. His back towards her, Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, wishing that his heart would- for the love of _God_- stop racing. He needed to fight down the flush creeping up his face if he wanted to survive the whole journey with her without any awkward moments.

Yes, it was going to be a very interesting year indeed.

* * *

**A/N: Well, was this chapter worth the wait? Not as long as some of the previous ones, but not that short either, was it? Not too boring? *puppy eyes* **

**A few things to clear out (because I think my writing may have been confusing in those areas)- The "withdrawal" and "craving" mentioned in Kuro's scene was about drugs. The painting he stole (and was clutching) was Rukia's- the one he had sold to the bar in Chapter 7. **

**And yeah...um...Hisana died. *hides from all tomatoes thrown at her* In my defense, I really think all of you were expecting it, it's no surprise that I'm a very depressing author who loves to kill people/ make people struggle in her stories.**

**If there are any more questions, feel free to ask/PM me. I don't bite.**

**Let me know if there are any mistakes, any way I can improve, or anything that I can add. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, and compliments even more so. ;)**

**I- in no way- support drug usage or self-harm. If you're struggling with either of these, please let someone know. If you know someone who is, then reach out to them. I'm always one PM away for any support, if you'd like. **

**I will see you all next time :) Thank you so much for bearing with me and reading!**

**~SS~**

**P.S. On account of being gone for more than a month, I'm entitled to write a long A/N. XD**


End file.
